An old family pic taken in Kashmir. I am on extreme right

It was my mom’s 11th death anniversary just a few days ago. She passed away in 2001, just 4 months after my wedding, quite suddenly, just 52….. This is a repost of a post I did a couple of years back for her.

It is not as if I do not feel the pain of losing her, but it has become less with passing time. A beautiful lady, too beautiful actually…… as kids while growing up, my sister and I used to wonder why we could not have inherited her flawless beauty… beautiful straight hair, a radiant, glowing complexion and great features. Her slim body is what we have surely inherited :), at least.Coming from a well-to-do family, she had a very strict upbringing. She was extremely adept at cooking and also knew sewing, stitching, embroidery, crochet work. She knew how to make finger-licking pickles (I have inherited some of her passion for food too). A vegetarian, she could churn out fabulous non-veg dishes without so much as tasting them. She was extremely friendly and social to my father’s reclusive nature. She was a simple homely lady, very dedicated to her family and extremely loving. When growing up, my father was a person we were afraid of. I hardly ever remember him giving us a hug or showing his emotions towards us, but mom made up for it with her excessive loving. She kept the family well-knit.

As kids, I looked up to my father more because of his intelligence, his reading habit, his well-informed self, his self-assured confidence; that was how I wanted to be. Mom was someone always there for me – not someone I hero worshiped. I loved her no doubt, but I did take her and her role in my life for granted. It is only when she went away suddenly and then when I had my kids, I missed her presence, her warm smile, her selflessness and her hug terribly in my life. I can relate to her so much more, now that I have my own family. I want to share stories about my kids with her. I want to swap recipes with her. I want to learn from her wisdom of bringing us up. There is so much talking to do, but she is not there. There is this huge void in my life with her absence, which will always stay with me. I cherish my memories of her, and I derive my strength from her when I am lonely or sick or feeling sad. I regale my kids with incidents of my childhood and make sure that they know their nani from their mom’s eyes!

I miss you terribly, and I love you deeply, mom. You were the best ma there ever could be. Thank you for blessing my life with your love, strength and resolve. I know you are always watching over me.

PS: It is true that a mother’s soul rests in her kids. When she was very sick, my brother and sister were in the same town. I was in the US and was flying back. She was watching the video of my marriage, seeing my pictures and albums and hanging on to dear life for me. I remember crystal clear that when I arrived early morning, my sis whisked me straight to the hospital where she was. I spent time with her; she was in the ICU. In the evening, she slipped into coma and passed away 4 days later. 

 

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Hi! I am a professional Content Writer and co-owner of a Technology startup, Tranquil Software Solutions Pvt. Ltd. I am a Major in Chemistry and MBA in Marketing Management from NMIMS, Mumbai. After having worked in Brand Management, I took a sabbatical when I had my kids. I did dabble in Teaching and Medical Transcription in my quest to balance my work-life after my kids. And finally I stumbled upon writing. Having started this blog in 2008, I ventured into professional content writing. And I continue to grow and work with some amazing people in the field of writing. This blog still continues to be a strong reflection of my thinking, opinions, perceptions and wisdom. I am mother to two bratty boys and a Labrador and loving wife to a wonderful man. I go the extra mile for friends and love a good conversation. Uncomplicated, I tend to open up easily to those close to me. I have lived around the world including the US and Europe. I don't have it all figured out, but I am enjoying the journey that is life!

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69 Thoughts on “My mother…

  1. What a lovely tribute

  2. Lovely tribute Rachna – I’m sure she is watching over and feeling very proud

  3. A touching post.Mom’s have an unique place that no one else can fill.I feel sad that her end came in her young age.You can foster memories by imbibing her pleasing traits in your kids

  4. I remember this blog about your mom very well.
    I is so true, we take or moms for granted, we can never think, a time would come we she won’t be there for us. I still miss my mom too, after so many years, as you have rightly said, they keep the family together. Now without her the home doesn’t look like a home at all, her presence would always be felt.
    I was lucky, she came all by herself and stayed with me for ten days,and we managed to take her to meet all her very close relatives in Bangalore whom she had not met for a long time, she was happy. She died after 10 days very unexpectedly having a massive heart attack on the X-ray table in the hospital where she had gone to check her knee pain, in Madras. I feel very privileged, that she chose to come and spend her last few days with me, as if she wanted to bless me personally.

    • Yes, rama, and I remember what you said then. Moms are the stable influence in our lives. They are meant to be around always. We rely so much on them without realizing. And, even though we are grown up, we always crave our mom’s affection and presence. Dads influence us differently, yet we love both of them. Amazing to hear about your mother and that she lived with you before passing away. I remember you had told this to me earlier. Touching!

  5. I am speechless.
    I am going thru a phase when I am worried whenever there is a phone call from home lest it be some bad news. And I don’t know how I will be able to handle it if anyone departs. And I understand what you are saying here. My mom has been my support system and I am scared about losing her
    Hugs Rachna.

  6. i don’t know what to say Rachna. my mother passed away 2 years before my marriage and yes, though the pain is reducing year on year, the void will always be there. she was in her early 50′s too when she went. now with my own family, i miss her all the more and know what we meant to her when she was raising us.
    its really nice of you to have re-posted this piece. and yes, she is beautiful – your mother
    and just like you, even i am keeping her alive and passing on very tender memories of her to my daughter

    • Thank you Sujatha for your heartfelt comment. You are the only other person I’ve known who is almost in the same boat as me. How much we understand our mothers especially after we become mothers. And, there are times when I felt an impulse to pick up the phone and chat with her. You know, even now I dream of her sometimes…

  7. Rachna, This was one of the best tributes to a mother from a doting daughter! I am sure she would have felt proud to see you walking tall today!

  8. Pradeep on April 19, 2012 at 5:52 pm said:

    Lovely tribute, I am sure she would be very proud of you !!

  9. Beautiful, Rachna. Although I had to frown when reading this bit: “I have inherited some of her passion for food too”. I wonder, if you inherited “some” of her passion, how much did your mom actually have?!! :-)

    • Good one, Bart. You made me smile :). She had the innate ability to wean out cooking tips and recipes from the most conservative and secretive aunties. Even apart from cooking, she used to be so good at knitting that she would see someone wearing a sweater and would be able to replicate the pattern exactly without having any other guidance.

  10. Very touching! Indeed her love remains! The best tribute is to pass it on!

    Love & hugs!

  11. Now which one is you? The one in the far right I believe.

  12. A touching tribute to your mother and am sure she is watching over you and your family. Physical void that a mother has left behind will be missed for our entire lifetime. I lost my mother in 2010 and till the day of her death she used to care and worry about our (me and my two sisters)well being in our present lives (i was 53 at that time she used to still treat me as a small child.
    Thanks for sharing the tribute

  13. 52 is much too young. Losing your loved ones is terribly sad, especially mums. Lovely tribute, Rachana.

  14. Anonymous on April 20, 2012 at 6:46 am said:

    wow u r lucky Rachna. I can never imagine sharing thoughts, recipes with my mom , the answer was in your Elders post

    She has suffered and done a lot but somewhere the friendship with parents was never seen in my family.

    • Oh that’s sad. It must be terrible that you can’t share a friendship with your parents and share your experiences with them. I wish people would loosen up especially after their kids turn adults and be more approachable.

  15. Touching tribute ,tears welled up in my eyes Rachna.Your mom looks lovely and it was easy to recognize you in the picture just by the way you stand – tall and confident.
    this is my fifth attempt in posting a comment here ,I am facing some problem with my internet ,have complained too ,hope to get some technical assistance soon.

    • Thank you, Kavita. Your words mean a lot. Oh, that’s terrible about your internet connection. Hope the problem gets rectified soon for you. I was wondering why I am not seeing anything from you on FB either.

  16. very touching post! and it is true in most of the families that fathers are hero worshipped and mothers…woh to hain hi..But mothers are missed most when they are not there…nobody can fill that void.

    • Thank you Renu! I think both dad and mom have their own unique place in our lives. They are both special for different reasons, and I wouldn’t place one above or below the other.

  17. touching post indeed..mom sweet mom..sometimes v do feel words r not enf to reflect what v feel, right na rachna? i just lost my dad and undersnd what losing someone very imp in life is..hey, btw, i was reading about the italian footballer who died recently..he had lost his mom at 15, lost his dad imm afterwards, his special child bro committed suicide and this guy died at the peak of his career..wonder what pleasure nature gets..OK OK say 100 things about god and reason and bla bla..

    • Thank you Ramesh. Yes, words are not enough for sure. Yes, like you mentioned about the footballer, sometimes one does feel how cruel destiny is. yeah, rest is blah blah blah. It is just that this is your fate, and you have to deal with it.

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  19. Lovely tribute! 52 is too short a life!

  20. Don’t have words.Heartfelt Rachna.
    Emotionally packed,I feel heavy now.
    Peace and prayers for her..

    And to you, after all these words from within you-that’s what the dedication and love all about..!

  21. Rachna,

    I know how you feel. I lost my mother in 2002. One can understand saying MAAVAAN THANDIAN CHHAVAAN only after losing mother.

    Take care

  22. This was such an honest post, Rachna. To acknowledge that your mother was not your role model and to own up that you took her for granted. And losing her so young too. Often one realises the worth of parents only after getting married or having children. You have coped and thrived admirably. And all the wisdom you show while raising your kids is inherited. She was a role model without your even realising it. What a wonderful mother-daughter relationship. Hugs to you Rachna.

    • Thank you Zephyr for your warm words. For some reason, I feel guilty that I could not tell her often enough what she meant to me. I know it sounds silly and that is what my sister tells me too. You know how we were at that age — carefree and footloose. Dad is very wise too, but mom was completely hands-on with us. Dad never helped out with anything at home. As a matter of fact, he did not even know how to make tea by himself. That part I miss about my own childhood memories, things that we must have done as kids that only she knew and could have shared, and she would be so amazing with her grandkids had she lived. Luckily, as a family dad and us siblings are really close knit, and in a way, mom is always around! Thanks and hugs to you too!

  23. Rachna, this was indeed a fitting tribute to your mom.There is no one on earth who can make you feel the way your mom made you feel. Even in her harsh words there is always an unmatched love and concern that we understand only when we are in a similar situation now. It’s true we took them for granted. But we also learnt immensely from them. without even realizing it. Take care dear.

    • Thank you, Jyothi. Moms are so special. I know that now when I raise my voice or yell at my kids :). It is true that we realize the true worth of what our parents did only after we become parents. Thanks for the warm words.

  24. Heart touching post Rachna. Unconditional love and care come from moms.

  25. Mavaan thandiyaan chavaaaan.. they say that for a reason ..

    beautiful beautiful beautiful POST…. I read it and called my mum and now writing this comment …

    Mothers are very specials always ..

    Bikram’s

  26. Thank you, Ashwini! This one is straight from my heart. And, I am glad that you liked it!

  27. Rachna, I was touched by the simplicity with which you have remembered your virtuous and loving Mother. I am sure nothing is going to fill up the void or the wound of her sudden departure. It is said that time heals but I believe it just spreads layers of mist under which the memories lie sparkling clean and hurtful. Yet, wherever there is life, there is death. May her soul rest in peace.

  28. Thank you Umashankar! Sometimes, I feel afraid when I share my emotions so openly. I do agree with what you say. Time does not heal all though it blunts the pain. I will remember her with love always. Why is life so unfair to many of us?

  29. Mother, you need not say a word after uttering this word…

    A simple and heart warming tribute to your mom and she was so lovely. May she rest in peace…

  30. Beautifully written tribute to your mother.

    May she rest in peace.

    ∞ © tanvii.com ∞

  31. Nice one. May she rest in peace. She’s watching you for sure. I so strongly believe in it. We all would be handicapped without the blessings of our loved ones, even when they are not near.

  32. this was so heart wrenching Rachna..yes she is watching you from above and is your guiding angel for life :)

    Mommies are the best,are they not?

    HUGS

  33. Wonderful tribute Rachna. I am sure she must be very proud of you.

  34. Very touching post Rachna! Your Mother lives through your memories and love.

  35. Pingback: Love, Actually! | Rachna Says

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