I hate the term Super Mom even if it is meant as a compliment. Mothers are a stressed species in general and calling some super moms puts pressure on the others to measure up. As it is, guilt is a large part of every mother’s life along with super hectic routines.

Mothers whether at home, working from home or working out of an office, we slog. I am not saying that dads don’t slog, but I definitely see a higher level of involvement that mothers have in their children’s lives compared to dads. I have personally shied away from taking on full-time professional work because I wish to be home in the evenings for the kids. I do end up working full time at home on various projects but at least I am not commuting and have flexi hours.

That is not to say that I have it easier. Mornings are a blur. Luckily, the husband gets up earlier, makes a steaming mug of coffee for me and himself and cooks his own breakfast. These days he has lunch at work so I have one less dabba (tiffin) to pack. But I have to pack 4 dabbas for the kids. So, I rush down and gulp down the coffee that the husband has made trying my best to savour it while I heat the milk for the children’s breakfast. Then it is a mad dash to have everything packed while they get ready.

Once they are out of the door, I pick the newspaper and spend some time with it while some mindless news on TV run. I catch my breakfast and workout. Prepare and give Coco’s meal and take him out and then sit down for my work.

The day whizzes past and one son comes home by 4. I go out and pick up the other son a little later. I avoid cooking lunch unless there are no leftovers or shortcuts that I can manage. But I do make an evening snack for everyone as ravenous kids descend upon home. Evening I try to help the younger son with his studies and make dinner for the family.

In the night, I try to catch up about an hour of TV watching one of the shows I’ve recorded. In the interim, I supervise the maids as I go from room to room with my laptop. I also load the washing machine, fold the laundry, make beds and give clothes out for ironing. Ordering groceries and running stray errands also happen in the same hours. Watering the garden as well. And there are many other sundry tasks that I complete that sometimes I really have no clue how the day has passed me by.

There are days when I am very tired. By evening all I want is some peace and quiet. I don’t even want to speak to anyone. I feel guilty at times if I feel tuned out when the kids talk to me but I just feel so exhausted.

The routine becomes more taxing when they have their tests and exams. They have 4 tests and 2 exams in a year. And their studies are completely my prerogative.

So yes, whether kids are older or younger, mothers have their hands full most times. Their needs change with time. Now, it is a lot of engagement and time to keep their behaviour in check, their lives on track, take care of their angsts – small or large, keep them motivated and suitably engaged. It is sometimes a struggle. I can’t say that I sail through these responsibilities. I try to do my best for whatever it is worth.

These days finding time to do my own thing or even to read is quite a struggle.

I am hoping that 2017 will be better in this regard. Hopefully, I will feel less rushed, less guilty and more in control.

I am linking this post to #MommyTalks at Naba’s blog. Do join in if you can.

Pic courtesy: Iakov Filimonov on Shutterstock

Comments

comments

23 Thoughts on “A Mother’s Life

  1. It never gets easy, does it? Sometimes, I have this sudden urge to run away or lock myself in the bathroom, you know? But then M comes and knocks at the door.SO there goes that desire too. It’s hard being a mum. Oh Rachna, let’s go to a mothers’ retreat, at least for a day, and forget all the chores and just rest 🙂

    Thanks for linking. <3
    Nabanita Dhar recently posted…#MommyTalks | The Mommy LunchboxMy Profile

  2. Oh yeah, mothers are far more involved in their children’s lives than dads. Plus, they have to fulfil their domestic duties, and if they are working moms, then it’s added pressure. Really, Rachna, I wonder if our men wonder how we manage it all and yet manage to keep our mind intact! The number of chores at home are never-ending, the demands of kids are never-ending and yet, at times the husbands have the gall to point out tasks we failed to complete! I think, instead of hating the word ‘supermom’, you ought to wear it as a tiara and preen proudly for all to see. I mean it!
    Lots of love, mommy….Super mommy! <3

    • I think our men think that we sit at home all day and twiddle our thumbs. ? I still hate that term only because l just want to be a common mum who makes mistakes and struggles many times. Thanks for your support always!

  3. Supermom is the word which should be struck off for good, really. No mom can do it all, something or the other has to fall upon the back-burner. On reading this post, I get this idea – a mom’s life can never become easy, doesn’t matter if the kids are aged 5 or 14. Asking God for some mercy.
    Anamika Agnihotri recently posted…Questions raising me!My Profile

  4. Thanks Rachna for giving a sneak peek into your day. I agree it’s challenging. I sometimes feel like calling it a day and hide myself. But then everything seems collapsing ! 🙂 Wish you a breezy 2017!

  5. Supermom is a word that needs to be erased from the world! I’m not a mother yet but handling a demanding job and a home tires the hell out of me at times. It is never easy for a woman. Even if your husband is very helpful, the onus of cooking/cleaning always comes back to the woman.

    There are days when I go back home from work dead tired and all I want to do is sit in the balcony with a cup of tea and not do anything else. But I cannot, as I have dinner to make. I do love the busy life I lead, but at times I cannot help but crave a break for everything and everyone around.
    Soumya recently posted…Monday Musings #9My Profile

    • It is never easy for a woman. You’ve got that right! I enjoy the work l do but sometimes everything together gets overwhelming. There are days l crave solitude.

  6. Good luck Rachna, but don’t count on it. With kids around life will always be rushed. All one can do is steal away now and then to refresh and recharge. Not that it’s all a trial but somedays are exhausting.

    • Phew! I know. But there is no harm in dreaming. ?. I guess the work has been a bit much and healthwise a few deficiencies have really aggravated things making them worse. Hoping things get better soon.

  7. Ohh, tell me about it! I am kind of relieved to read this because I was I was wondering if I am the sole stressed and burned out stay-at-home-mom! I dread weekends and holidays even more as they tend to wreak havoc on my already fragile balance. Yes, hoping 2017 will be better, let’s pray for collective miracles!
    Kala Ravi recently posted…#DIY #ChristmasDecorMy Profile

    • I hear you, Kala. Christmas vacation are almost here and l am wondering how they will pass. Yes holidays are definitely tougher, considering that l have to work. Let’s pray for collective miracles. ☺️

  8. Oh I so feel you, Rachna. It’s been a crazy few months on my end as well, ever since I started full time work outside of home. It got so out of control that I had to put in my resignation.

    But it so happened that my manager told me to reconsider my resignation, and work from home 4 days of the week, and come in for 1. So finally I get a breather. A much needed breather.

    Hoping this lasts through 2017, and I can balance it all.
    Shantala recently posted…November Wrap Up – Books and MoviesMy Profile

    • I am so happy that your Manager gave you an option that you could work with. I am frankly struggling these days. So much work and cerebral work which exhausts you. So l am still trying to figure out how to handle everything. Hope 2017 is better.

  9. I am not a mom, but I can vouch for this as I have seen my mom go through rough patches in her life – taking care of my brother and me, while managing an 8-4 job was not easy. Thankfully we had a maid to take care of the house hold chores, that brought down the work load for her. Mothers deserve each and every inch of respect that is showered on them.
    Maliny recently posted…Book Review – In The Light Of DarknessMy Profile

  10. This is so true Rachna. Seriously most parts of the day just go by in a daze. I keep doing things like as though a machine is on. The toughest Job for me is to plan the days meals. It drives me nuts to plan a wholesome meal with a dash of variety too. Surely a job is one hell of a task.
    Ramya Abhinand recently posted…Best Fiction I Have Read in 2016- The Girl On the Train By Paul HawkinsMy Profile

  11. As the situations have changed since the time of our parents its very important that we share the responsibility and stereotyping of parenting roles are a passe now . This is a inspirational blogpost for people who think life for stay at home mom is easy or working from home is easy.
    Anindya Sundar Basu recently posted…Christmas cake with almond paste frosting and my christmas memoriesMy Profile

  12. Supermom, a word I hate! As a mother, I wanted to prove to the world that I’m the best and in that quest, I forgot to enjoy the little pleasures that motherhood brings. Mindfulness has helped me to keep myself centred and handle challenging situations more resourcefully.

  13. I can relate to this, Rachna. Mornings are a blur since my son started his school. I used to wake up half an hour early just so I could savor my tea in peace and quiet. But now, since the arrival of my almost 3-month old, I have to get up minimum twice in the night before 5.30 to feed the baby, that’s on a lucky day. So peaceful date with the morning tea is gone but rushing to get the elder one ready for school, make the lunch and breakfast for him, all that is there. It gets very hectic in the morning. By evening, as you say, I’m mostly tuned out to my kid’s talk. Honestly, I hate me for that. I am afraid if I don’t listen to his toy stories now, he will stop sharing anything with me as he grows up. The guilt, the chores and everything else is leaving behind an exhausted and cranky me!

  14. Supermom is a term I royally detest. For obvious reasons. I am more inclined to spending my time reading and cleaning than actually parenting 24 X 7 😛 Don’t tell my family that, although I think they already know that at some level. Of late though, I’ve learnt to delegate some tasks to the kid so it helps me stay sane. Oh and it’s exhausting to keep up with their schedules as well as yours. Ah, life. Then again, I’m praying that 2017 will ease up on you and as Naba says, please let’s go away somewhere: Moms only! 😀
    Shailaja Vishwanath recently posted…2017: A wish and a wordMy Profile

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