open letter sons

Dear S and G,

It is not often that mommy writes you a letter. Yeah, I know all about the lectures that I dole out generously to the both of you every single day! But today, I decided to actually pen down something for the two of you. You both know how proud I am of the fine young men that you are turning out to be. But today, I want to talk to you about some values that I hope I keep doing enough to impart to you. Somewhere in my heart, I feel that they will make you better human beings. I truly hope that these 5 values last you a lifetime:


S, you are a brilliant child, blessed with a curiosity and intelligence that is a gift. You naturally love reading on a range of topics and show great inclination towards sciences and computers. G, the naughty one is oh so perceptive and a Math wiz! But at every single PTI, the one question that I always ask your teachers is whether you behave well. You remember I always tell you how humility makes success beautiful! I love it that both of you are not braggards and in-your-face nuisance brats who are wading their way to crush others in their paths as they wish to do things better. Remember, your success in life comes first and foremost from being good, humble people who are grounded and appreciative of all that you have the good fortune of having. Share knowledge happily, embrace your friends, and help others in whatever way you can. Remember this especially in times of rabid social media updates and when even the trivial is tom-tommed. Yes, humility is a quality I truly wish upon the two of you!

What destiny holds for you, you will get for certain!

But, being petty and loud will only make you obnoxious!


It does seem like an outdated value, S, especially when you read and hear about so much corruption in the news. But remember what we have read and discussed about the people who have really mattered – Gandhi, Mandela, Kalam, Dalai Lama and others! They pursued what they believed in with all honesty despite terrible circumstances where they had to pay dearly for their convictions. But, what is success and is there happiness, when you sell your soul to get money and fame? I really wish that the two of you will remain honest in all your endeavors with true honesty of emotions and intent. That you will always follow the voice of decency and your conscience no matter how tough the road ahead seems.


In times of terrible strife and stress, of bad blood and competition, I hope you can look at things with a fun perspective. Yes, life can get tricky, sometimes sad and at other times very depressing, humor will help see you through such situations. Remember, use your wit and humor when confronted with terrible situations. Yes, it can be a very strong tool in your arsenal. Rage and anger eat you from within. Look at life from the prism of lightheartedness and humor, and the tough times become a wee bit easier to bear.


Remember how important it is for us to eat the meals together with family. Also, always remember the importance of physical exercise and cooking and eating with love at home. S, you are already showing an inclination to learn cooking from me. I hope this interest flowers and makes you a person who actively eats and cooks nutritious meals at home. I also hope that both of you continue to play outdoors and put a lot of emphasis on your health. It will hold you in good stead as you grow older. Also remember about meditation and the power of forgiveness. No matter how much money you have, it is only in the pink of health that you can continue to live a meaningful life. My blessings that you have a healthy and secure future.

Capability to cope with failure:

In today’s times, when competition is stiff, I truly hope that both of you know how to endure failure and emerge stronger. In life, there are circumstances that are not within our control. We fail. We lose battles. We face heartbreak, separation from dear ones, death and sadness. You will be repeatedly challenged with turmoil and failure. And I hope that you have the strength of character and the gumption to weather storms and emerge stronger. I wish upon you the power to cope with failure because, God knows, life is never fair and rarely rosy.

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I really wish these 5Β values upon you so that you can lead a life of wellbeing and substance. Always remember that your dad and I are behind the two of you in support and incredibly proud of you for being the people that you are.

With all my love,


Pic courtesy Shutterstock



85 Thoughts on “Open Letter to My Sons

  1. Beautiful! Now I don’t have to write one to my kids, I’ll just forward this one to them when I need to. Isn’t it amazing that our values coincide so well?

    Bless you and your boys Rachna. May our kids never have to compromise with their ethics or values… that’s all I ever pray for. I never pray for an easy life… or for fame and success. I pray for strength so that they can stand steadfast when the going gets tough and they are abandoned by everyone they thought would stand by them. May God give them courage to go against their friends if they need to, for the sake of their principles.
    Dagny recently posted…The Lair of The High PriestessMy Profile

    • That is high praise coming from you, Dagny, and I cherish it with all my heart! I truly hope that all that you say comes true for my kids too. May they know how to stand by what is right despite the stiffest of oppositions especially from those that they have counted upon. I hope that I am able to equip them suitably to face this harsh world. Thank you so much for reading and validating. <3

  2. Nice one, Rachna. From the heart.
    The Fool recently posted…H G Wells the Doomsday ProphetMy Profile

  3. Humor and the capability to cope with failure is seriously a needed value in today’s world…. Well written! Best of luck!
    Danny Simon recently posted…Playing Santa to My ChildMy Profile

    • Thanks so much, Danny! I agree that in the face of so much competition even for trivial events, the ability to face failure and rise up is very important. Thanks for reading!

  4. Lovely post, Rachna! I agree with each one of them πŸ™‚ I think all of us need to help our kids understand these and keep them in there hearts.
    Veens @ Our Ordinary Life recently posted…Tissue Paper Collage Votive Candle HoldersMy Profile

  5. Yes, vital qualities to aspire for… but if I were a politician, would I really want these 5 to be a part of every Indian too? Just wondering aloud.
    Nice post… all the best!

    Arvind Passey
    Arvind Passey recently posted…There is a child in meMy Profile

  6. Its a lovely post Rachna. I wish our kids imbibe these virtues and lead a happy life always.

  7. So well written Rachna! Made me feel that all is not lost with this generation of parenting.. Here’s hoping that we have a lot more Rachna’s around πŸ™‚
    Seeta recently posted…Expressions – a blog reviewMy Profile

  8. A very beautiful letter from a mother to her sons. The advice given by you will pay dividends in their future life. These are the commandments which every child must follow. All the best to your sonny boys.

  9. too gud write up Rachna…..awsome thoughts…

  10. Solid values and gifts to bestow, Rachna.

    πŸ™‚ I used the letter format in my post, too and imagine I was unique! Now I think great minds think alike, perhaps.

    Love, and all the best!
    Vidya Sury recently posted…Reflections on 11 Things Every Woman Should Write Down Before the Year EndsMy Profile

    • Thanks, Vidya! How lovely! Of course, great minds think alike, especially loving mothers who share so much in common! All the best to you too with loads of love.

  11. A post right from the heart Rachna. These gifts will make a solid foundation for their future.
    Jas recently posted…To the Rising SonMy Profile

  12. A lesson to live by ,valuable guidelines Rachna.May they both come out just as you desire them to be.
    indu chhibber recently posted…Omar Khayyam,Once Again!My Profile

  13. What special gifts! Every mother should write such letters to her children, we will have a wonderful society to live in, then. Lovely post…

  14. and a mum says it all. Heartfelt post Rachana. These are lessons for life. All the best for the contest

  15. These are the best gifts that one can give Rachna. Wonderful!! But then these qualities are more to be imbibed than learnt. We should have these qualities for our kids to inculcate.
    Bhagyashree recently posted…Reflections-IMy Profile

  16. Wonderful way to share your gifts with your kids Rachna. I particularly loved the one on humility.

  17. This is excellent! How considerate of your to have written this letter and I am sure the boys would be so happy to read this. Excellent gift at the close of the year. Take care!
    Kajal Kapur recently posted…Movie Massala Top 10 Movies Of 2013My Profile

  18. A fabulous letter to the children and the bestest gifts we can give as parents. I liked the humor part… usually, we never teach or talk about this gift which is so very vital in difficult situations!
    All the best for the contest, Rachna!
    Shilpa Garg recently posted…11 Things Every Woman Should Write Down Before the Year EndsMy Profile

  19. Wow! Did you make them read this? And record their reactions! Most of these are the values we all want to follow all the days of our life!
    Makes for a lovely read!

    • Thanks, Rinzu! The elder one read it and gave me a very sombre nod. The younger one is not old enough to understand it still but will read this hopefully in a few years. I hope that in the future when they stumble upon this on their mother’s blog, it will act as a guiding force for them. Thanks so much for reading!
      Rachna recently posted…Open letter to my sonsMy Profile

  20. What wonderful gifts. Awesome. Awesome. S n G are so lucky to have a mom like you

  21. Am sure this letter provides food for thought to many of us! Best wishes for a very happy and enjoyable New Year, Rachna:)

  22. Rachna I’m going to save this for my future child… I don’t know if I can ever articulate these better than you already have.. S and G are truly lucky!
    Nabanita recently posted…A Sleepless AutumnMy Profile

  23. 5 very good gifts. In today’s world humility is sorely lacking. And when one can cope with failure, that builds character. You are a very wise and caring mom. Well done.
    Suzy recently posted…U V W XMy Profile

  24. A gem for all parents. Your kids are fortunate to have you as their mum Rcahna.
    Wish you and your family a very Happy New Year.

  25. Such a lovely letter. We are bothered with the superficial aspects that we often forget to take care of our health. And of course, humility makes success all the more beautiful, such a wonderful phrase. Honesty, humor all go hand it hand and it has its own impact on us πŸ™‚

    I’m sure your kids would turn out to be fine gentlemen. Happy New Year πŸ™‚
    Ashwini C N recently posted…You know you are a blogger, If…My Profile

  26. Beautifully written Rachna! These are things that we just grew up with. People were just supposed to be honest and humble- but like you said, it is a different world of, one of competitiveness and things like capability to cope with failure is right up there.
    Wonderful gift of words which I am sure your boys will treasure.
    shefalivelingkar recently posted…Getting ThereMy Profile

  27. Such meaningful words and powerful. Did they read it yet? How did S react? πŸ™‚ Now, I think I will not spend my energy to think about writing one for Rushi…will say Rachna aunty has something to say for you πŸ˜‰
    latha recently posted…11 Things Every Woman Should Write Down Before the Year Ends!!!!My Profile

    • Thank you, my dear! Only Sid has read it and he gave a very sombre nod. I know he takes my words very seriously. The younger one will not understand all this just now. In a few years, I will make him read it! I am so touched that you find it good enough to share it with Rushi! Wish you and the entire family a lovely New Year!
      Rachna recently posted…Open letter to my sonsMy Profile

  28. Great! Humility, Honesty and Health people do talk about. Humor is the one thing that people vastly underestimate. It makes the difference between a self-pitying dishrag and a happy person – no matter what life has thrown at him. As for failing, people may fail at what they attempt BUT a person is a failure when he either allows failure to stop him from continuing to do what he wants to do OR the fear of failure from even starting to do what he wants.
    chsuresh63 recently posted…Me – An Author?My Profile

    • Well said, Suresh! When I wrote ability to cope with failure, I also meant ability to rise above disappointments. Often, we push our kids to excel, to do better and better but do not equip them to face defeat with grace. That they must succeed always is the message that they get from an even more disappointed parent. I hope children can pull themselves up after every defeat, disappointment and failure and take it in their stride, learning their lesson and moving on.
      Rachna recently posted…Open letter to my sonsMy Profile

  29. Timeless, priceless advice, I would say. Your sons are lucky to have you and I am sure with a level-headed parent like you, they will come out as fine human beings. I loved this post. A great way to end the year and a great post to keep coming back to in the years to come. πŸ™‚
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  30. I am borrowing this letter for a time when my son will be able to read it, and understand it. It is the most valuable letter I have read in a long time. Goes to show what a super parent you are, Rachna.
    Wishing you all a very happy 2014.
    sakshinanda recently posted…Guest Post – Bedroom Brawls by Sid BalachandranMy Profile

    • Thank you, Sakshi! It is a delight every single time you leave a comment on my blog because yours are the most insightful and warm ones that I cherish! It is indeed heartening that you find resonance with the values and the letter itself. I will be honored if it is shared with N in the future. I have a lot of flaws as a person and as a parent, but your affirmation just makes me so very happy! Wish the Nanda family a delightful 2014 as well!
      Rachna recently posted…Open letter to my sonsMy Profile

      • I dropped by to read it again. And then I saw your reply to my comment. I wonder why people think the virtual world is not real. When there are real gems like you spreading warmth the way you do, I say www can really help us meet people who we cherish as good friends even without having met them at all. You are so precious, Rachna. πŸ™‚
        Thank you for your wishes.
        sakshinanda recently posted…The Old, the New and Burp!My Profile

        • Awww your comment made me all gooey, Sakshi! Yes, I have met some really good, inspiring friends in the blog world, some who feel more real than the real ones ever can. It has been a delight connecting with you this past year! Thanks again!
          Rachna recently posted…Open letter to my sonsMy Profile

  31. Have recently started following your blog and really like everything you express so beautifully… your words are measured and deep..

    Happy new year & good luck to you Rachna πŸ™‚

    • Thank you so much for your warm words, kitchenmummy. This is such a beautiful start to my year. Welcome to my blog and hope to see you here more often. Wish you and your family a very Happy New Year too!

  32. This is so beautiful, Rachna! You’ve echoed almost all mothers here. You sons would be so proud to have you as their Mom. Blessings to the little ones and best wishes to you and the Dad. A Very Happy New Year! And hey, I’m so glad to have known you through blogosphere. Sharing this open letter for all my friends to read and impart to their offsprings. πŸ™‚
    Rekha recently posted…A New EndeavourMy Profile

    • Thank you so much, Rekha, for your love and warmth. Yes, I hope that they will read it at a future date as something their mom lovingly wished for them. Thanks for the lovely wishes and wish you and your family the best of what New Year has to offer. Thanks for sharing! I am equally glad to have met you in the blog world, Rekha!

  33. Pingback: Open letter to my sons | Dew Drops

  34. Aww such a sweet and valid post Rachna.. Did your boys read this ? Am sure that they will be happy πŸ™‚
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  35. The boys are already gifted when they have such a thoughtful parent. Children are, afterall, a reflection of their parents.
    This is a prize winning post. Loved it!
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  36. Superb letter, highlighting 5 important values that, these days, are not given the importance they deserve!
    Proactive Indian recently posted…Which is worse: a badly damaged helmet or a badly damaged skull?My Profile

  37. Rachna so well expressed , this is partly the letter I would want to write to my daughter !
    Pooja Sharma Rao recently posted…Hashtag YOLO : A lesson for 2014 from 2013My Profile

  38. Thank you so much, Pooja! I feel honoured that this letter is partly what you would like to pen to your daughter.
    Rachna recently posted…Open letter to my sonsMy Profile

  39. Rachna,it is an established fact that you write very well( I wish I could).
    This is an awesome post and I am going to STAR it in my menu board.
    I am unable to quantify..who is lucky …your sons or the mother in you.
    As they say,it is the parents who teach their children the values of life.
    B k chowla recently posted…SECURITY.My Profile

  40. THIS is why I keep saying that your posts will always be a reference point for me as a mother! I dont have enough words to express how much I loved reading this post, Rachna!

    We all wish the best upon our children and there’s nothing that gives us more joy and pride than to watch our children imbibe the values that we have strived hard to instill in them. And your children are truly blessed to have you as a mother who has given them such wonderful gifts for life!

    God bless you Rachna and your sons πŸ™‚
    Deeps recently posted…Politics never looked so promising..My Profile

    • I am choked with emotion, Deeps! I am blessed to have friends who are so encouraging and loving! I do hope that this letter will act as a guiding force long after I am gone. Thanks for reading and for your warm blessings. <3

  41. Ah, Rachna, what pearls of wisdom, especially the last wish. The ability to cope with failure, this is where I think a whole lot of us parents are failing. Kids should be able to fall and then rise up again. That is the only way to learn coz as you rightly pointed out, life is seldom fair and definitely not rosy!

    This is a fab write up. Bookmarking it to re-read. Well done, indeed!
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  42. When kids have a balanced mother like you they are sure to immerge more than what you expect of them! You’ve covered almost all pointers required to turn your kids into well balanced responsible adults.

  43. This is such a beautiful letter, Rachna. You are a wonderful parent πŸ™‚ While everything you said in the letter is very important, but somehow I feel the last point – Capability to cope with failure – is the most important lesson we need to share with our younger generation. And you have done that so perfectly. I am happy I read this post today.
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