When I first chanced upon Red Handed’s blog, I remember having the feeling of hitting pay dirt. She does humor with a sassy, no-holds-barred attitude which makes for delightful, guffaw-worthy posts. Since then I have been hooked to her blog. She is a very popular blogger and deservedly so. I am delighted to welcome her to my blog on a topic that is funny and resonates personally with me.
My mother never delivered a lecture on the presence of DHA in Horlicks . Nor did she get a high on spotting the toilet pot sparkling white. Nor did she have the presence of mind to notice if a Vim Bar lasted a month or less and the same applies to the stickiness quotient of Yippy Noodle. The point is she never cared. Neither does any woman alive on the face of Earth.
Every time I see the woman on TV happily dipping a stained white shirt into a tub of soapy water and beaming on finding it jet white, I feel disturbed. When a woman screams out loud because she was able to clean a zillion utensils with a single drop of dishwasher liquid, I get angry and when a woman wipes off a tear because her daughter came first in class only because she recommended her the perfect sanitary napkin, I get frustrated. The truth is simple. We sincerely do not care about your little brand.
Too many expectations. Too many lies. From Everest Masala Powder to Annapurna Atta to Chaksons pressure cooker, they all portray women who live to make Pav Bhaajis & Choles, soft round phulkas or piping hot rice for the kid to take to school early morning. And ‘Taste Mein Best, Mummy Aur Everest’? That’s Cannibalism being promoted right there!
Why would you do this to us Dear Media? Or are you not aware of our truth? I have gone to the local supermarket with my mother and I have noticed the logic she uses behind the purchase of each and every commodity. Horlicks because her kids are used to it, liquid dishwashers over bar soaps with no affinity to a particular brand, Harpic not because a random celebrity came to our place for washing our yellow toilet but only because she got it in a combo offer and Pears over every other soap because she likes the fact that its transparent. Women don’t have the time to experiment on whether a particular soap is better than milk or if a peach turns brown when dipped in Body Lotion A instead of Body Lotion B. We have better things to do, like Gossip.
Or maybe it is because they find women Gullible. So gullible that a particular perfume that guarantees 1000 sprays used by a random hot body can make her leave the man she is with and sway towards this marinated man. Now there are two things to consider here, One, not even a jobless baboon would actually count if the spray bottle gave him 1000 sprays or less and Two, the only time a woman will wander away from her man is on the sight of a ‘Flat 50%’ board. Johnson & Johnson and Pampers need a special mention too. Time after time they display women rubbing their cheeks against their newly born while applying talcum powder of the little one’s bum. Where are the fathers? Why not show men taking care of their babies for a change? Fathers want to rub their sandpaper cheeks against their babies too!
The point is, stop expecting so much from us. As much as we love running a family, it is not the only thing we are destined to do. Our happiness quotient is not decided by the sponge that easily takes off the grease from the Kadai. We are beyond all that. We are like men, just supremely better.
So here’s a heads up. Every time you come up with an illogical woman-centric advertisement, go to your mother with a stained shirt and gently whisper into her ears ‘Daag Acche Hain’. She will take care of the rest.