bullies parents

This incident happened about a week back and frustrated me immensely. I waited to cool down substantially before penning it down. Let me give a little background first. The community where I live has boys and girls of all ages. Most of the elder boys play games like football and cricket. This motley group has older teens, tweens and some younger children who form a mixed group. Abuses fly thick and fast, as older kids find them cool and hip. Since I usually take my evening walks around that time, I can hear the choicest of cuss words flying between these boys who look tall and menacing. They have an attitude that says, “Don’t mess with me!” Call me old fashioned, but I prefer my children not to pepper their sentences with cuss words when they are speaking to me.

So, my younger son all of 8 often plays in this group tagging along with his elder brother. Last week, a boy aged 14 found a word that was used by him offensive. No, it was not a cuss word just a female variation of his own name (like Manisha instead of Manish). This boy was so angered that he beat up my son while restraining his hands so that he could not protect himself. Leaving the child scared and whimpering, he got into verbal duel with my elder son who had rushed to his rescue. My younger son came crying to me. I have a rule in my home. I don’t let my children beat anyone, and I don’t tolerate it when someone raises a hand on my kids. Otherwise, I never interfere in their daily tiffs with other children. I know that parents turn a blind eye to their children cussing and ill-treating other kids. I don’t.

So, I approached this boy’s parents by going to their home. I spoke very calmly explaining to his mother what had transpired. This boy then came and started speaking to me in harsh tones. He was rude and overbearing and even to me he seemed very intimidating. Either he was making it up or he had delusions of a perceived provocation that did not exist to cover up his own act of cowardice. He justified to his mother that the younger boy (my son) who is at least a feet shorter and 20 kilos lighter had ‘bullied’ him by calling him a name (not abuse but a name which is a female equivalent of his name). His mother took up his side saying that my son should not have done that. Wow! Okay, I said. What about him raising his hand on a younger boy? If he had found the word offensive, he could have reached out to me and I would have pulled up my child? He had no answer to that, but he was extremely cocky. I told him firmly that he had no right to touch a younger child and hit him. He could have hurt him. The boy had no iota of shame or contrition (even manufactured). He was somehow trying to justify his aggressive behavior of hitting. His mother was a mute spectator. His father also came intermittently and did not speak a word.

bullies parents

His mother never admonished him or showed any sign of remorse. I wondered what kind of people I was speaking with. No wonder their son was such a bully! His parents supported his behavior no matter what. Frustrated, I went away expressing my disgust at the way the parents were reacting (not reacting). I later found out that he had tried to strangle a friend’s younger son for some perceived insult.

All I could say to my children is to stay away from that boy. How he turns out is his parents’ prerogative. But, I felt frustrated that such bullies cross the path of others and make them victims of their aggression. Sadly, parents are so caught up with “my laadla” syndrome that they end up doing immense harm to their own children but also to the society at large.

What do you make of this behavior? Do you think his parents should have reacted differently? How do you react when your child is beaten up by other children?

Featured Pic and Pinnable pics courtesy Shutterstock

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86 Thoughts on “Bullies and Their Parents

  1. This simultaneously scares and angers me, Rachna! I feel so sorry for your son. I am glad you went personally and took this up with the parents, although it was fruitless, by the sound of it. My daughter’s school had an entire week of Anti-bullying campaigns last week. Children were sensitised to the concept and told never to use their hands or words to ill effect. I think the only option is we educate our children to defend themselves and also to speak up when they see another being bullied, as your oldr one did. What is shocking is that the idea of cuss words flying around is so normal these days! The lifts in my apartment are peppered with cuss words scrawled on the walls and I cringe every time I take the service elevator. Let us just hope for better sense to prevail among our children. Because, the ones who are already gone are just too far gone 🙁
    Shailaja recently posted…From #15to50: Fiction Link Up- February 2015My Profile

    • Shailaja, exactly how I felt — angry and scared too. The boy was menacing. I was scared for a second as well. My young son who had accompanied me later commented that the boy was so rude to me. It is so difficult to explain to your child why someone and their parents are behaving in that manner. I had to just ask him to never speak or play with that boy again. You are right, we have to teach them to stand up for themselves. Sadly, the other older kids, this boy’s peers, did not consider it important to intervene. My elder son was tellling me that they recently had some sessions on bullying. Guess what, the very next day some boys were into name calling. It is absolutely impossible to fathom. As parents, it is so tough to see your child bullied and yet you are unable to do anything much.
      Rachna recently posted…Bullies and their parentsMy Profile

  2. Unfortunately most parents have this attitude that ” My kid can not do any wrong” This case so much reminds me of movie Carnage about kids fighting then parents getting involved.

    Now the problem is because the bully mom took side of bully son he will feel it is acceptable behavior and will become a repeat offender. She does not realize she is raising a potential criminal in her home . It is painful to think but I don’t know where it will stop abusing junior during ragging in college ? Eve Teasing on roads and continue to go downhill. May the good sense prevail.. May be I am being too judgmental here but I do wonder why parents cant see that there is something wrong in their kids ?
    Prasad Np recently posted…Ramayana The Game of Life Shattered Dreams : Book ReviewMy Profile

    • I think that is exactly what is happening in this case. That is why he has had past experiences of being nasty with other kids and getting away. Sadly, how do we ever do something here? And the parents are living in a world of delusions, actually believing that their physically stronger son had a great reason to beat up another child who had not abused or hurt him. I just could not bear to be in their company any longer.
      Rachna recently posted…Bullies and their parentsMy Profile

  3. Couldn’t have put it better, Rachna. What is allowed at home is what would make or break a child, in most cases. Yes, there would be peer pressure to use cuss words, but the difference is if that is not allowed at home, the kids would know in their hearts that it is not right. They might do things going along with the flow, but would know where the limit is.
    Bindu recently posted…The Year through the ReadsMy Profile

  4. I think this isthe same everywhere, my 5 year old son was bullied by a 10 year old boy and he didn’t even tell me for a long time until I discovered that his toys were thrown into the gutter by the bully, I approached the mom and spoke to her regarding her son’s behaviour, she is cool replying boys will be like that only, and she didn’t even apologize for her son’s actions, I have stopped sending my son out to play, better play inside the house than bullied by unscrupulous boys
    Hemapriya recently posted…Every Kid Deserves a Great Dad like Mine !!!My Profile

  5. Wow Rachna, you absolutely spoke my mind. I would blame the parents more than the child in such a case actually, as some pulling up at a younger age would be more than enough to improve such behavior :(. Hope your younger one is feeling better now.
    Aparna George recently posted…The Mantra for 2015 – MindfulnessMy Profile

  6. I had a similar Incident with my younger brother many years back when I was a child myself! I had the courage then to grab the bully’s collar and give him a piece of my mind. Now with my own daughter, I shall be more stern and vocal. I have seen parents who find it very difficult to admit to their child’s mistake. In such a case I would ensure my child to not be around this guy. Or I would rather scare the bully to be around my child in her playtime.
    BTW those parents will reap the same behavior they are instilling in their kid right now. And importantly, a child’s behavior speaks of how the things are at his/her house. Definitely not the right people to mingle with.
    nancy@thethinkinhat.com recently posted…Why I would prefer a Vaginal Delivery again!My Profile

    • Good that you did that, Nancy. This boy unfortunately is taller and menacing. I can’t see both my kids taking him on physically. The younger one anyhow is frightened of him. Yes, staying away from him is prudent. What can one do with such kids who are a pain in general for other children.
      Rachna recently posted…Bullies and their parentsMy Profile

  7. It reminds me of a fable I had heard when I was a child “The thief and his mother”. Courtesy Google I could even find it 🙂
    http://mythfolklore.net/aesopica/oxford/496.htm
    I hope parents are more responsible when raising their children.
    Gurdev recently posted…5 reasons why I have come to hate Indian Cricket and Cricket as a gameMy Profile

  8. This is so shocking to me! I didn’t want to believe that such things are so common and happening in apartments. The parents should realize it is them who’s going to suffer if they don’t take steps to set the bar right for their children.

    I don’t know how else you could have handled this, so patient of you to have gone through it without resorting to angry measures. I guess all we can do is to take care we don’t do the mistake with our kids.
    Keirthana recently posted…January : Gearing upMy Profile

  9. I feel sorry for the bully. He’s going to have a very friendless childhood and never learn what it is like to grow up with love among his peers. Your kid will learn and grow up knowing how to deal with such people, that one never will
    Ritu Lalit recently posted…Censors, Controversies and NotrietyMy Profile

  10. Something similar had happened with my boys and the elder one had taken on the bully – the father of the boy who had beaten the younger one and then gone to complain to his father about the little kid. That story is a legend in our old housing society and Vikki was and still is a hero there 🙂 It had all happened when I was away at work!

    Usually bullies shut up or slink away when someone stands up to them. And when one stands up others join in to present a united front. But beyond that, it is best to stay away from bullies of any sort, including the parents of the bully. You did what decent to do. But to take injustice without being able to do anything concrete is terrible. Hugs.
    Zephyr recently posted…Death tells a Story — The Book ThiefMy Profile

    • Very proud of your elder son, Zephyr. Sid did try to take up for the younger one. He even had a verbal duel but was no match to this boy in strength. I am sure he would have loved to hit him as well. The strange part in this case was that the other boys, his peers, were quite unaffected. As a matter of fact, I have noticed that children these days don’t really take up for younger children. They are more likely to support their peer. Most of them are brash, arrogant, rude and abusive themselves, and beating up someone younger unfortunately gives them a high. Yes, I did what I thought best though it was quite futile. I felt very bad that I could bring no justice to my boy. But then this is life. You meet all kinds of people. This boy was misbehaving with me in front of his parents, and they did not utter a word. I raised my voice and told him that he had no manners and did not know how to speak to someone elder to him. What can I say? :/ Thanks for the hugs.
      Rachna recently posted…Bullies and their parentsMy Profile

  11. And we talk about increase in violence and lack of tolerance in our society. When such parents exist no doubt our society is going downhill.
    I have faced bullying otherwise that is not physical and I hate it. I hate to see my kids complying to others demands. I mean it is good to be adjusting and accommodating but not complying to every wish of others. You have your rights too, isn’t it.
    You behaved very amicably Rachna, I might have given two three slaps to the boy and his mother and worsened the situation

    • I agree, Bhagya. I felt helpless as well. But, what could we do? Gone are the days when you could reprimand a neighbor’s kid. The parents come fighting with you. The way his parents were behaving by being mute and taking up for him filled me with disgust. He was also throwing his weight around. No point in saying anything more to him. I did warn him that if he laid a hand on my children again, I would give a written complaint to the Association against him and his parents.
      Rachna recently posted…Bullies and their parentsMy Profile

  12. The parents definitely are at fault here… It because of such parents that these kids or their ladlas grow up to commit crimes without remorse… I feel your anger Rachna … I wish there was some way these parents could be punished but maybe the way their son in turning out to be , one day they would certainly be punished …
    nabanita recently posted…In Love with CurlsMy Profile

    • It was a cruel and helpless situation, Naba. I could not give any succor to my son. I was just so disgusted with those parents. Yes, someday they will learn their own lessons. All I can do is safeguard my children’s wellbeing.
      Rachna recently posted…Bullies and their parentsMy Profile

  13. if we speak of dharma, why your kid has to provoke someone who is idle by calling male a female.for boys,calling by opposite gender name is more insulting than using cuss words. i dunno why you are supporting your kid,he did mistake by picking up on someone first. any quarrel starts with someone picking up on someone unnecessarily,everything that happens later is relative.you should have a rule that your kid will never bully someone first and you can blame others later coz its moral of story.when i was teen,i had a neighbour who is a year older than me and used to call me with female version of my name all the time,i used to smile and ignore but it became unbearable with time,one day i have beaten him black n blue with his shirt torn and nose bleeding .later he was scared even to stand in my presence..there is a saying in telugu, its like to awake sleeping lion.

    • Rohan, you know nothing about my children. First of all, this is the first time he called him by that name, not repeatedly and certainly not to bully. I also made my son apologize to that boy for it. Did he feel bad or apologize for his atrocious behavior? Also, he had no right to touch my son or any other child. He himself goes around cussing and abusing other children. Does he expect to be beaten up for that? So, kindly refrain from using your convoluted logic here. What happened to you was unfortunate. I cannot understand why you could not approach your parents or that boy’s parents to pull up that child. Unfortunately, many people like you believe that violence is an answer to problems and then gloat about it. I am sure this boy’s parents also thought that it was okay to hit for a perceived problem.
      Rachna recently posted…Bullies and their parentsMy Profile

      • hmm ,since you are a woman,you don’t understand our society dynamics.women (even educated ones) are brought up between 4 walls in india,so you dunno behavior of boys.i forgot,,i was not teen,,i was in 4th grade and 9 yr old when this thing happened.if you complain teachers about bullying ,teachers and fellow students think that you are girlie and complaining,they ignore complaints. i never take things to my parents coz am always on right side and i know how parents of other kids react.the guy i have beaten up is son of corrupt government official.do you think that their parents have morally right judgement on kids quarrels,they are just selfish junkies who live by any means.after i have beaten up that guy,this guy came to my home and told my dad,my dad reprimanded me and told me that he would never send me out to play if i play with such kids.my dad knows i can never do mistake but still din’t support me in front of that guy.he always told me i should stay away from such people and issues. i never apologised to anyone in my entire life coz my teachers from my school days till yesterdays professors called me the only good boy in class.many people call me gauthama buddha coz i have such calmness and politeness,but there is a limit when someone takes you for granted.people are thick skinned,sometimes violence is only answer.

        you know when a woman goes to police,people don’t take her complaint and you read same news everyday again and again.it tells you the mindsets of people in our country in every aspect of life.people are just insensitive and insensitive people should be beaten till they understand what pain is.

        • In which case, what you did was correct. If the parents don’t pull up their children, then their children will get what they give and much more. I agree with you, some people may only understand one language. Thanks for sharing your experience.

  14. Gosh! The parents’ behavior is simply ridiculous. They are not realizing that their child is going to have a hard time growing up and dealing with reality later. And they themselves will soon have to deal with the repercussions of not disciplining their son earlier.
    Shilpa Garg recently posted…Wrong, For The Right ReasonsMy Profile

  15. Sadly, such parents exist at large and are polluting the society in a different way! But, I must say, you’re too patient Rachna…I don’t know what would have I done in the same situation!
    Maniparna Sengupta Majumder recently posted…Are You a Great Dad?My Profile

  16. For all you know ,the parents might have reached a stage that today, they themselves are afraid of him! (could have started of as ladla…)

  17. this is beyond disturbing!!! Those parents need a parenting session for making a bully out of their son. I can’t imagine how frustrated you must be feeling. ..their reaction has angered me too!!
    Rajlakshmi recently posted…Travails of a Kohl eyed GirlMy Profile

  18. I feel very strongly about what you have written and hats off to you for taking if up with the bully’s parents. More than punishment, I think today’s kids need to be sensitized becoz this kind of attitude will surely get them into trouble in the long run…
    Sweta Biswal recently posted…Poppy encrusted Rohu Fish FryMy Profile

  19. I can totally relate to it Rachna… such parents are like Gandhari ..blindfolded by the so called love for their kids.. harming them beyond repair forever.
    Kokila Gupta recently posted…बाबा : हाइकुMy Profile

  20. I can understand your frustration Rachna! these days there are so many parents who encourage the violent behaviour of their children directly or indirectly. When this happens to my son I tell him to go and complain to the parents of bullying boy, but once I was surprised when the mother of a bullying boy told my son,” why don’t you hit him back?” Now I always tell my son not to play with the children indulging in violence!
    Ratna recently posted…A surprise birthday party sans surprise elementMy Profile

    • Wow, that mother’s response was amazing. She does not want to discipline her own child and is passing the buck to others. That is the sad part about today’s parents. My own mother would have given me hell had I beaten a child in this manner. But look at parents of our generation. :/

  21. One of my biggest fears, ever — having one of my little ones get bullied.
    Sending a big hug, Rachna.
    If I got a complaint like that, I would be so ashamed and would seriously address it. I sometimes think I overdo the ‘this is NOT oks’.
    dNambiar recently posted…Zooming In: Chamundi HillMy Profile

  22. Rachna,I would have reacted the way you did.
    But,it’s important for parents to guide their children so that they understand nvalues of life..
    Such children generally turn out to be GOONDAS in real terms
    B k chowla recently posted…DEMOGRAPHIC CHANGESMy Profile

  23. This is how the modern day urban criminals are born.

    The pampering parents who do not teach their child any manners, do not try to rectify their mistakes ( specially for male child), supports their arrogant behavior to elders – results in them growing into uncultured teenagers who later flourishes into irresponsible adults.

    For such bullies being arrogant is a style , abusing is macho and being polite and cultured is a sign of weakness. The Ad world , TV Serials and Violence in Movies takes their toll on young minds , plus the support from their parents flourishes them into potential criminals right from their teens.

    They just need opportune moment to show off their arrogance to satisfy their sadist ego. Backed by their parents they gets more encouraged to fulfill their dangerous motives.

    And then there is the Law of India protecting the teenage criminals with its “Juvenile Act” even if a Teenager commits a crime as heinous as that in that fateful night in a bus at New Delhi.

    It is important to teach your children the right manners to stay in a civilized society. Otherwise the day is not late when the word “civilized” will be out of fashion , and being a “criminal” will be legalized.

    And I absolutely detest those parents who say ” Bachha Hai… itna shararat to karega.”
    Amitabha Gupta recently posted…My Unforgettable Train JourneysMy Profile

    • Thank you, Amitabh, for your detailed comment. I do agree with you. Who will teach the kids when their parents have turned a blind eye to their misdemeanours.

  24. These parents need some parenting lessons – fast and quick!! They are raising what is called a ‘threat to the society’, I hope they realise that. Shocked to hear that this kid tried to strangle another child!
    Beloo Mehra recently posted…Current Events 7: Thirst to UnderstandMy Profile

    • Me too, Beloo. The way that boy spoke to me in the presence of his parents put me in shock too. He is a raging bully and thinks nothing of hitting out violently at younger kids. :/

  25. I was fuming when I read your post. More than the kid, I HATE the parents with such attitude. They are the ones who nurture criminals and bossing males in the society. You know my stand on this and how I feel about bullies. Of course, his parents should have admonished the kid. shame on them they kept quiet. Useless fellows. Rushi used to get bullied till he was in his 4th grade. I had some friends (ex) who had this thing about their son…oh my son can never do wrong…and their sons are the biggest manipulators out there. Circulate this blog post in your community email. Everyone should know. If the kid felt bad, he should tell your son to go away or kick him out of the team..but why hit? These days parents itself don’t hit their kids, with what powers can he do that? You should have hit him for hitting your son and then told sorry. I normally don’t interfere in kids’ fights…if there is something bothering my kid, then definitely, I will speak up. Kids cannot always stand up for themselves even though we teach them to. Give them all kinds of disgusting looks….that should be enough….abhi mera guss kam nahi ho raha hi……grrrr

    • Exactly, Latha. I don’t hit my children. What right does he have to touch my child. Unlike other parents, I take full responsibility for my children and their behaviour. I will pull them up if they do something wrong. Unfortunately other parents only care about defending their kids at all costs.

  26. I wonder what sort of future these parents want for their son,no wonder he has turned out like this.I do hope your son is able to maintain a safe distance from him.
    indu chhibber recently posted…Mental Disease is a Disease–Nothing More,Nothing Less.My Profile

  27. This was my experience too initially when I came to Mumbai. I told my son to stay away from abusive boys but the abusive boys would not leave him alone. So, I told him, if they hit you then hit back. From then on…he is protecting himself 🙂 These kids are bullies because their parents allow them to be.
    You did right.

    • In this case, the boy was so much bigger and more powerful that hitting back wouldn’t have worked. Yes, these kids are bullies. One day soon this boy will land in big trouble. I am sure of it.

  28. What!

    If I were in that bully’s place, my mom would’ve given me black and blue in front of everyone. I was scared to get into fights with others because more than listening to other’s scoldings, I knew my mom would be the most angriest person. So that helped me stay away from getting into these fights.

    More than the boy, I would blame his parents. They think they’re doing their son a favour, but reality is far from that.
    Ashwini CN recently posted…The Art of Small Talk.My Profile

    • True, Ash. Exactly how I’d behave if I found my child hitting another one. His parents are so blinded by their love that they have ended up raising a bully.

  29. Such a sad incident. So glad that your son is okay.
    I feel very scared of bullying as it can even claim lives. In the movie ‘My Name is Khan’, Kajol’s son is killed as he ‘s beaten to death when he protests against name-calling…
    What kind of an intolerant world are we living in?
    What do the young impressionable minds know? It’s what we (parents, elders, teachers etc) teach them. Our society needs some strict rules.
    I feel you did the right thing by reaching out to his parents and also warning your kids to avoid the bully. Even I’d have done the same. If all parents react the same way as you, & everyone gets over the laadla/laadli syndrome, bullying will stop. Hope for the best.
    Anita recently posted…Great Dads In Bollywood MoviesMy Profile

  30. I was so horrified when I read this! I have a toddler so never have experienced this, he is too little at this point. But, I worry as this is inevitable in the society that we are in. And, as you correctly pointed out, the parents are more often than not equally responsible as they tend to ignore disciplining the child. But, yeah small fights aside, I do not think I would tolerate anyone raising a hand on the child. You pretty much did what I would have done. It is best to have the kids stay away from the bully as of now, and keep an eye out for them.
    -Shantala

    • Shantala, Both my sons have faced bullies. Unfortunately, this behaviour is quite common these days. Just keep an eye on your child. Yes, I am doing that and have told the kids to never interact with him again.

  31. I know we say we shouldn’t judge parents, but these ones – I Want to. And I’ve seen it happen far too often in our enclave too. And once even with Rishi, and he’s not even three. Apparently Rishi took fancy to a bell on someone’s cycle and him being the curious cat he was, decided to ring the bell. Of course, the owner- a boy of perhaps 9, decided that he didn’t like it and just pushed him away, thereby resulting in a chipped tooth and of course blood. Thankfully, the boy’s mother was around and gave him a sound telling off, but I’ve seen plenty of acts go unpunished too. More often that not, most of these are the result of bad parenting and being in the company of bad friends. Of course, we live in a world where it is ‘perceived’ that it is okay to beat up women for fun, and people who are slightly different to you.
    Hope your kids aren’t too rattled by the event and kudos to you for doing what you did. Stay safe, Rachna.
    Sid recently posted…The League of ‘Ordinary’ ToddlersMy Profile

    • Thanks, Sid. Unfortunately, like you mentioned, these incidents happen far too often for our liking. The abuse, cussing and the violence among older children tweens and teens is unbelievable. You have to constantly strive to keep your children out of trouble. The most worrying part is that older boys no longer feel compassion for the younger kids, allowing them any leeway for their age. It is tragic and scary too considering that you are likely to bump into the same kids again. Yes, I judge these parents too. They seriously are the reason why we see so many ill-mannered brats and bullies around.
      Rachna recently posted…Bullies and their parentsMy Profile

  32. Hi Rachna

    Such kind of behavior by the parents is seriously unbelievable.
    Such children will grow up to be even bigger bullies if not controlled now.
    Parents should realize this part of parenting.
    Much love to your kids or rather all the kids.
    May God show all of us right path and light.

    Regards
    Swati
    Swati Bassi recently posted…A Style of My OwnMy Profile

  33. Usually bullies are kids that take out some other frustrations that they have on the vulnerable lot… Somehow they are also ones that need help and correction with love and care. Some times sadly that never hhappens.in a lot of cases just being nice to them rather than opposing them may trigger the goodness in them. Kids actions always has more meaning than what’s visible on top. But sometimes it’s just a superiority complex and a feeling of authority and power they get while bullying others. That needs to be addressed .
    jaishvats recently posted…Smile…Thats easy! 🙂My Profile

    • While what you say is true, Jaish, as a parent whose child was beaten up, I have no sympathy for the boy. After interacting with him, I feel disgusted of the person he is turning out to be and downright revulsion for the manner in which his parents reacted. I just hope that they learn their lessons soon or this boy is likely to land in some serious trouble.

  34. It really pains to see that such incidents are happening every day and the parents are not worried. Such parents have no concern for their children’s future. It is very unfortunate.Your action was absolutely right.

  35. They need serious parenting lessons. I mean, who lets their child speak to a woman like that. They don’t realize – laadley ko bigadhney mein time nahin lagta.
    Saru Singhal recently posted…A Real HeroMy Profile

    • Yes, that boy was wrong on so many counts and all because of his parents’ condoning his behavior. Who talks to a woman, an elder that way? Who hits a younger child in that manner? Who argues and passes the buck while the parents nod in approval? What is wrong with our society?

  36. i wrote a big comment and publish.. brought an error 🙁 your blog is BULLYING Me ..

    right jokes later first of all I hope you know here these parents live because when i come I would love to have a word with them ..

    reminds me my next door neighbours son last year had some problems , he is close t ome because we play hockey for the same club I am obviously in the GRANDPA’s team and he is in the junior and YES i play better than him .. So all I did was took my hockey stick one day and stood at the gate with him, and as kids came in asked him WAS it any of these who hit you.. HE did not point at anyone BUT the others got the point.

    I know this is not right BUT it makes me ANGRY and your post has made me angry as I know how it feels to be bullied and never again will that happen.. reminds me of my school days..

    I hope the little one is alright, I would put him for some lessons in self defence etc its not for fighting but for self defence, so he has the confidence to face to a bully if it ever happens again ..
    plus a bit of exercise always helps .. and self defence brings discipline too

    sorry if i sound bad here but It makes me angry over these episodes of bully and especially when they have idiotic parents .. they need a SLAP too
    Bikram recently posted…Wordless Wednesday (52) – My Name has an Effect – PricelessMy Profile

    • Sorry about the lost comment. Don’t know why that happened. :/

      Yes, I have to teach him self defense. You are right. They were so frustrating the entire family. Just seeing them makes my blood boil.

  37. Rachna, this appalls me really. Sadly, society is abound with people who behave and support such behavior, including the parents. And this is the most horrifying truth. Parents, instead of teaching the right thing to their children, stand as mute spectators, thus supporting their menacing kids. I believe, his parents deep inside knew what a jerk he was and probably they also knew that bashing him up (even verbally) would hit them back at home.

    You did the right thing. And better would be to just tell your sons not to interact with bullies like him. Self defense is the best offense.
    Surabhi recently posted…The Best Way To Show Affection To Your Loved OnesMy Profile

  38. My goodness! I am sorry that this happened. I can see that the bully is headed in all kinds of wrong directions. Such a pity that his parents are prepared to see him hop and skip along that dangerous path.
    Rickie recently posted…Practically A Movie Review – Happy New YearMy Profile

  39. There is a difference between being there for your child and supporting him blindly. Pathetic that people seem not to know the difference.
    C. Suresh recently posted…Panchatantra with a twist – Netted PigeonsMy Profile

  40. My blood boils, Rachna. I simply cannot tolerate violence among children – and the attitude of those parents? Disgusting.

    Hug your son for me, please.

    I’ve found, when Vidur was being bullied at school, the parents did not care. I had the challenge of making him stronger so he could deal with the crap that other kids dish out. Unfortunate, but true. Complaining to the school would only have rusticated those boys and that wasn’t really an option. Sigh.
    Vidya Sury recently posted…I am Not That Kind Of Mom!My Profile

    • Mine does too, Vidya. Sid has had his share of bullies as well. Like you said, I have also tried to coach him to defend himself and stand up to the bullies. I see that I have to do the same for Gautam too. I will pass on the hug. Thanks, Vids.

  41. I’m sorry I didn’t read this post earlier, Rachna. No doubt you would rather forget this horrible incident now! I’m so sorry that your boys had to go through such an ordeal and that you were also treated so rudely! Absolutely disgusting!
    Roshni recently posted…Respecting my kids’ privacyMy Profile

  42. Somehow during my school days I used to have the impression that it is not cowardly to carry tales home or to teachers – so usually I tended to handle bullies myself. I was not big . But I usually managed to assembled gangs in most schools and use the strength of numbers to ward off the bully.

    In one school however I could not do that – bully was son of English teacher at school and the class leader as well. I met this person again at my first job – he had totally transformed due to ragging and other harrassment at college away from the safety offered by his mom and her cronies (the other teachers) – so much so that he became my best friend at work.
    The Fool recently posted…Intriguing Points of ViewMy Profile

  43. Pingback: #1000Speak on Building from Bullying – when my son taught me something - Rachna Says

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