You know the toughest thing for control freaks like yours truly is to even admit that there is something that they do that they are not supposed to do. After all, don’t we have everything under our thumbs? Apparently not! It frustrates me and even disgusts me a bit that I go down this path way too often. But, what to do such is life. With a sheepish grin, I share these with you:
Flick children’s chocolates:
Before you wrinkle your powdered noses in disdain, here’s my defense: No one comes between me and chocolate! That luscious, gooey, decadent dark fantasy makes my mouth water faster than my Labrador’s at the sight of a meaty bone. When I see a large bar of chocolate, my otherwise apples of eye transform into fierce competitors. I have sometimes flicked a few from their stash as well. It is my way of teaching them about the survival of the fittest. Besides, they must find better hiding places, I tell you!
Saying yes to doing something that I know is a lost cause
I can’t tell you how often I have fallen in this pit. That utterly sweet lady used her sugarcoated voice and made me commit to a project that spelled doom from the word go. I had this premonition in the pit of my stomach yet I slaved on. The entire project was hell and the sugarcoated voice changed into a poisonous hiss all too soon. As a matter of fact, I used to imagine her to be Nagini from Harry Potter so dangerous her tone would get when she harangued me with tight deadlines. At other times, it has been ‘friends’ I went out of my way for. I don’t know why but at times my own gullibility drives me nuts.
Getting scared of creepy reptiles:
If there were paid tickets to watch my performance when I jumped and squealed around at the sight of a creepy crawly then my bank account would have touched the heavens by now. You should see how my kids just love the fun. I wouldn’t be surprised if they would sit around with popcorn and soda to see the normally strong mom behave like a monkey, hopping in fright when she sees a lizard. So many years, and I have still not overcome my repulsion and fear of them much to the delight of my kids.
Being a slave to the househelp:
This is 21st century and if there is someone who has me well and truly eating out of her hands, it is my maid. Come hell or PMS, my best moods are reserved for her. I talk to her in such a silken tone that the husband turns green with envy. She wants an advance, a leave, needs to go early – no problem, she’s got it. All I want is for her to be regular and to keep her mobile on. I pamper her and sweet talk her yet like an alpha male she pretty much does what she wants to leaving me in disarray. Yes, judge me if you like but move on diamonds; maids are a woman’s best friend.
Hoarding on till eternity:
That dress that I haven’t touched in 2 years, magazine copies that are never re-visited, moth-eaten kids’ projects from when they were toddlers, cosmetics bought on a whim that I never used – it is so tough to let go. Somehow an invisible hand seizes me and propels me to inaction every time I think of giving these away. A small voice at the back of my mind says, “Wait, it’s time will come.” Lo and behold, I happily let the item languish back in the corner for 2 more years. Sigh!
Changing a hairstyle on impulse:
I learned this the hard way. You let your hairstylist talk you into trying out a new, trendy hairdo. Sure, why not you feel, imagining a glamorous you walking out with a smug air just like your favorite actress. Blowdried, your hair looks great. You walk on air and glance at everyone from a pedestal of looking good and knowing it. Two days later, you shampoo your hair. That is when the sky falls on your head. Your hair looks frizzy, dull and in short a hornet’s nest on your head. Depressed you apply all kinds of potions to make it look acceptable and then give up and use a scarf. Now comes the long wait to grow out your hair to go back to your earlier hairstyle that made you look human. Be wary; be very wary before changing hairstyles.
I could go on and on now that I am on a self-flagellation trip. But, I believe you get the drift. Suffice it to say that I am working on these. One day, I will be flawless and without idiosyncracies, when the cows come home. Till that time, here’s to a happy imperfect existence.
Care to share your quirky behaviour traits with me.