To tell you the truth, I can hardly make out that it is Spring. On the one hand, the trees are shedding their leaves, on the other, it has suddenly become quite hot like summer. The temperature has just spiked in the past week. The only saving grace is the appearance of the beautiful cherry blossoms. The trees have started to get laden with the pretty purple, lavender, pink and yellow flowers. This sight makes it a beautiful period to be in Bangalore. Though I love my walk outdoors, it is with alarm that I note the quality of air deteriorating rapidly. Sometimes, it is burnt leaves or plastic or rubber that make it nauseating to inhale the air. At other times, it is the dust in the air. It seems to form a white cloud that slowly rises from dry roads and threatens to engulf all. There is a playground which seems so dusty that I shudder to think how many respiratory allergies and problems the kids playing there expose them to.
I usually like Mondays. After a hectic weekend, I really yearn for some peace and quiet. I like working when there is pin-drop silence. Coco makes for good company as he just snores around. How does this guy manage to sleep so much? I envy him. He has no care in the world. No studies, no work, no housework, all he worries about is us. As long as his family is home, the little brat is satisfied. So, I was telling you about the weekend. I think I must be getting old because there are days when I don’t want to get up and do anything. All the running around, the pending cleaning, chores etc. just exhaust me. Perhaps it is the noise as well.
I am reminded that it is end February and that the summer vacation for the children is not far away. I am already dreading that time. Okay, don’t shake your head. You really have no idea what is like to be around two sparring kids. I scratch my head as I wonder how to keep these two from killing each other off. They quarrel all the time. Sometimes, I wonder, is this how siblings are? I go back to the time when my brother and I used to spar but at least when dad was around we were well mannered. Besides, we never pushed our parents to referee. These two incessantly come to us with their petty squabbles expecting us to resolve it for them. Why? I don’t know in how many ways I must tell them to do it on their own. My boys play the victim card perfectly. I hate being made to intervene and then told that I am biased.
You know, I really wish that they would just do what they are meant to do without me reminding them 20 times and yelling when they still refuse to listen. I don’t know if other parents face the same, but it completely drives me nuts. As it is, remembering my chores is hard enough, I have to keep reminding them constantly to make their bed, keep their shoes inside the rack, drink their milk, eat their fruit, study, take a bath!!! Damn! And it is not as if they are toddlers. The elder one is a teen and the younger one is almost 10. Sometimes when I am really despondent, I wonder if they will always be like this even when they are much older. Can’t they be more considerate towards each other and towards our sanity?
Yes, weekends do this to me. And I don’t even know how to make them understand how much their behavior disturbs me. I have talked to them multiple times, given them suggestions, been patient with them but it looks like they are just not in a mood to listen. Any inputs from the readers? And, when I try to log into social media to get some change, there are pitched battles going on. I am so turned off. There is no respite. Of course, every person has their priority and perhaps they are much more involved in certain issues. But I wonder if there is room for any more vitriol and stress in our lives to pick up indignation and venom from news and then spread it all over your timeline and those of others. I don’t know. I guess I have no answers. Hence, I logged out of FB yesterday, entire day and was in no rush to log back in today either. I guess, it is just my state of mind for now.
So, hoping that this week will be nicer and that everyone has a good Monday.
How did your weekend go?
That is the story line everywhere, children quarrelling, the TV news and air quality competing to get worse by the day:)
Aren’t you just lucky that your kids are grown up and definitely not squabbling? 🙂
LOL Rachna. You’re one of the few who look forward to Mondays. It is indeed nice to work in peace when the whole world scrambles to get to wherever they must. Inch pinch 🙂
P.S. I read a comic strip yesterday in which a young girl asked everyone what she should wear – she wants to choose between a skirt and her jeans. Her mom suggests that she wear the skirt because it matches with her top. So she wears the jeans 😀
Your post reminded me of it. Love to Gautam and Sid 🙂
Yes, I do look forward to Mondays. 🙂 I guess I have a very threshold for noise these days and hence it just drives me nuts. Laugh all you want. I am sure it makes for amusing stories to an outsider. 🙂
First, big gigantic hugs and I completely understand what you mean as far as the FB vitriol is concerned. In fact, I breathed a sigh of relief when we were at the resort on Saturday, away from home plus away from FB. As for kids squabbling, I really have no answers because in the case of my sis and I, it would invariably end with me shrugging my shoulders and walking away. I hope you get some respite soon from the yelling. I know how challenging it is to get kids to do chores. Finally as far as the clothes issue went, I put my foot down firmly and told mine that if the clothes were not in the hamper, they don’t get washed. Period. It itches to see them on the floor but I persevere 😉 Yes, being firm is the only way out at times. And ignoring them. That helps too. Hugs and hope you have a better week/weekend ahead.
Yes, I can imagine. Sometimes, I wonder why we subject ourselves to so much anger. When I talk to some of my friends, they say they see nothing like this. Is it because we are more engaged on our FB accounts or is it because we have so many bloggers on our timelines? I wonder. Yep, being firm, even patience, I try it all. But some days are just so tough especially when you are not 100% fit. I just wish they would show some sensitivity. Sigh! Thanks for the hugs. Hugs back. 🙂
My weekend, starting last Thursday actually, was full of some fun family time (my sister and nephew were visiting from Delhi), some (mandatory?) sibling arguments, some cooking, some eating out, some shopping etc. But the highlight was yesterday, Sunday, with some peaceful time at the Ashram because it was a special day for all the devotees of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. That is the Source, for me, which makes everything meaningful and richer, which puts everything else in a much deeper, wiser and wider perspective and lot more relevant.
Glad to know that your week went well and why.
Haha ! Is it that hard to handle kids? The squabbles between my sister and me became less intense when mom and dad started their ignoring act. We’re left to fend with it ourselves. But then again we’re older now, and more responsible, although the timely quarreling doesn’t stop :D.
Anyway, i hope you have a peaceful week ahead! 🙂
Oh yes, it is, when the tables turn. 🙂 Thanks for dropping by, Dashy. Yep, I need to implement that ignoring bit better.
Rachna, when my kids were a little younger and they squabbled, I told them they’d both get a rap on their knuckles if they come complaining to me. I totally refused to listen to their complaints. They learned to get along and to keep conflicting situations to a minimum.
About the other, I do not remind them of unfinished chores… nor do I do them myself. No shout fests for me. I can’t bear raised voices.. my own included. But when driven up the wall, I do withhold privileges. I even stop talking to them sometimes. It has worked upto now.
Actually, come to think of it, the preferred method of expressing disagreement in my house is silence. We tell each other that we’re upset for so-and-so reason so will not be talking to the other for sometime. Usually it gets sorted out after a while.
Hmm… hadn’t realized that the thing had become a family characteristic.
I love Mondays too. My son is VERY fond of asking endless questions. It drives me up the wall. 😛 Peace when he is in school.
Thanks, Dags. Though I’ve told them a million times, they still come. My fault too. I have to be more firm. Rap both on the knuckles. Implementing it right away. I hate yelling too. I really do. I withhold privileges as well but somehow it isn’t delivering the required results. Yes, I take the silent route too when upset. But eventually I don’t wish that to extend beyond a couple of hours. I personally hate being stonewalled. I prefer talking things out but that’s become a headache because the kids overwhelm you. Thank you for giving me food for thought. I will let you know if things get better with your suggestions.
Ahh don’t worry , siblings means quarrels and fights especially when they are kids..But I do understand it must be tiring for you..My weekend was good, hectic but good..My parents were here and we celebrated Ma’s b’day….Hugs! I wish we could meet , it has been so long…Take care, Rachna…
I know but it gets a bit much on some days. 🙂 Oh how lovely about your mom. I know it’s been so long. Let’s plan for a meet, na.
It is another week! So life goes on, with some good, some bad and some even ugly things peppering it. Don’t worry, you will survive, no, thrive! Hugs.
Thanks, Zephyr. Yes, life. Hugs back.
Had a horrendous week, with the only highlight being that IB Meet – Had hoped that Monday would bring something new; but I’m quite ready to give this Monday back too.
But as they say, it can only get better.
Oh! And summer hols! Gulp!
Hope the week is working out better for you. Yesterday, went well though was exhausting.Yeah, summer holidays! Let’s all cry together. 🙂
Really confused. Don’t know what to say? Give a smile or make a sad face! Your post invoked a mixed feeling within me.
Thank you, Ravish. Yes, the post has a lot of angst in it. I can understand why it left you with mixed thoughts. I guess, just a part of being alive and being a parent. Some days are rough.
Hey Rachna, I am sure it’s a phase of parenting and yeah kids can be quite tough to handle. But, love your narration which is a refreshing way to tell your side of the story. We all need our space and enjoy yours, faraway from the mad FB mob..lol
Thanks, Vishal. Hope the phase gets over soon. 🙂
Rachna, I love Mondays too! Sadly, walking outdoors in this pleasant weather is becoming more and more of a challenge. I feel lucky we have a huge terrace, but even there, the smell of burning is quite strong. Your mention of cherry blossoms reminded me of a lane I love – and I must go check to see if the tree is in bloom.
🙂 Kids – they want you when you’re busy and they’re busy when you want them.
Facebook – I am not very active there except to visit the groups I am part of, and so, never bother to read the timeline unless a friend’s status catches my eye. Ugh.
Today, I just stayed offline except for the occasional chat with a couple of friends. I enjoyed some long pending spring cleaning and found some treasures 🙂 Yep, week looking good!
Very aptly said about kids. 🙂 Nice to know that you love Mondays too. Yesterday, I got a good break from Facebook and had such a good time with Shailaja. We yapped and yapped and enjoyed the sessions. So much nicer than messages.
Hugs Rachna! I wish I could offer some piece of advice, instead I will bookmark this post and use it as reference a year or two later. Sigh…summer vacations are arriving! Sigh! Not looking forward to them :/
Thank you, dear. All of us dread summer vacations, don’t we? 🙂
Been there done that!
But trust me, once they are on their own, they will do you proud. And I realised long time back, blocking the messy room from your mind does a world of good to your peace of mind.
Sigh! That is what I hold on to. Sometimes it is not even about the mess but little daily things that just get on to your nerves. But yes, I am implementing the inputs from the commenters.
Maybe the parents part the other can deal with better… but the part about social media squabbling I agree it gets very loud and crass many times. I may also be a part off late. But sometimes being quiet only adds fuel to the idea. Quietness has been always misused in our nation 😀
But yes switching off from SM is needed more and more!
I think we all do contribute for the issues that resonate with us. But after being a part of many social media debates and ‘speaking up,’ I wonder who are we making a difference to anyway. Religion and politics are contentious issues and having debates with strangers we are hardly likely to find any common ground. It does affect our peace of mind, no matter how we deny. But then how much to stay involved is a call that each individual has to make. Thanks for dropping by!
Sigghhhh! Rachna, I feel for you. I’m currently in two minds about adopting baby. I just wonder if I’ll be able to keep up with their hyperactivity along with my store and all the household chores.
As for social media, I removed the FB and Twitter app from my phone last month. So things are much quieter now. I only login when I have vella time to kill. Not getting bombarded by notifications all the time.
Sigghhhh! Rachna, I really feel for you. I’m currently in two minds about adopting baby. I am wondering if I’ll be able to keep up with their hyperactivity along with my store and all the household chores.
As for social media, I removed the FB and Twitter app from my phone some time last month. So things are so much quieter now. I only login on social media when I have vella time to kill. Not getting bombarded by notifications all the time now.
Sounds like a prudent approach, Kaddu. Children do require a lot of energy and time to raise not to mention patience.And some days it just gets a bit much. But there are other times when they are just adorable. So that is a call you have to take.
It’s a phase with kids and it shall pass soon! But hang in till then and come and stay with me for a few days! There’s absolute peace and quiet here! 🙂
Ah now that sounds like bliss, Shilpa. 🙂
haha i look forward to mondays too!!! Kids off to school and i get more ” my” Time!!
Same pinch. Thanks for dropping by, Ramya.
ahh don’t worry so much… they will grow up fine… it’s their let’s-drive-mum-crazy-today phase 😛 my brother and I still do that 😛 You are providing them enough lessons and learnings that they will be fine lads once all grown up 😀 Let them make their mum’s hair go white 😛
Hehe Rajlakshmi. Your comment brought a big smile to my face. I am sure you will join them in mischief. :-p
You can take inspiration from Coco. Remember certain things are not in our control. Rather than worrying about those, simply ignore. Kids always want attention. So one will play victim and complain and the other will also do the same. Just ignore and see if it works. 🙂
Yes, Sabyasachi. You are right. 🙂 Have to learn to turn deaf and ignore.
I hear you, Rachna! About the sibling squabbles as well as the venomous updates. Regarding the kids, we had an extended weekend because of the off on Monday owing to Jat Quota Stir. These girls left me in tears by evening on Monday. The husband was shocked because I rarely cry in front of anyone. I don’t know how to get rid of this constant complaining and quarreling but I console myself saying it’s just a matter of few more years. Regarding the updates, I have stopped sharing my views on anything religious or political. Saves my time and my mood.
I agree wholeheartedly with your views, Rekha. Going by the advice of some Commenters, I am actively aiming at not engaging when they come to me for refereeing. Let’s see how that goes. About sharing religious and political views, I am with you. It is better to stay quiet!
First of all, here is wishing you have a wonderful weekend this time around. I guess most kids at this age are busy squabbling and tearing each other to pieces. I hope with time they will become saner and saner (and we will start getting back our sleep and quiet again). 🙂 I guess I will be experiencing these things very soon.
Btw… looking forward to a Monday! I don’t think I know anyone who looks forward to a Monday. 🙂 I guess I might know that feeling soon.
I hope so too, Raj. 🙂 Considering that they are reasonably grown up, I wonder if that is ever happening. Hehe Oh yes, wait till you have two squabbling kids on your head. 😉
Imagine I face the same issues with my husband. I am so happy when it’s Monday. He drives me crazy. Every 10 minutes I hear my name for a petty issue.
Sachchi. Oh man!
hehehe..ghar ghar ki kahani hai yaar….same story here also. The younger one provokes and the older one reacts…I tell him innumerable times not to talk to her as she is gets him in trouble…like they say, a dog’s tail is never straight…he keeps doing the same thing again and again..For me weekday, weekend no difference. Wknds they behave a bit well as the S is around them more than weekdays. Again I feel, it’s only few more years…once he is gone to college, she will be left alone…who will she mess with then? 🙂
I guess the same story in each house. But these days I have told them sternly, no coming to me when they quarrel. And it is working out marginally better. Ah, here they drive G mad too. So it is actually worse during the weekends. 🙁
Oh I look forward to Monday’s too and the peace and quiet it brings. As far as Summer Vacations go, I am reading this at the beginning of one, so really not looking forward to it. And siblings quarreling – my mm used to do the exact thing that Dagny said and it worked with us.
I agree with you and Dagny. After this post, the husband and I have actively taken a hands-off approach and it has been paying off even in such short time. I guess, we need to constantly rethink and tweak our parenting methods. I am glad I wrote about it and got so many valuable suggestions. Two days into the summer vacations and we are doing good. I guess them having grown up a bit and able to do so many things on their own is making it way easier now.