My son and I were out to the market one day. We passed by a butcher’s shop where we heard the bleating of the chicken being slaughtered. There was also this chap on a bicycle ready to lug his cargo of alive chicken. There must be at least 50 of them tied in two batches in the front and back on top of each other with their necks drooping as if resigned to their fate. Sid sees them and looks shocked. He asks me, “Look at the way he is carrying these poor things.” I nodded my head feeling sad myself. He then went on, “It is terrible that they will be killed, and we will end up eating them.” I agreed.
He told me that the other day in school, his teacher asked which is the most dangerous animal? Many kids answered lion, tiger and the like. But, Sir said it is human beings. We kill when we don’t have to! “Do you think that I should stop eating non-vegetarian food?” he said. I replied, “This is the decision only you can take.”
To explain further, I told him how his own grandmother (my mother) never ate non-vegetarian food, but she cooked for us kids and never actually told us what we should do. Each of us 3 siblings gave up eating non-vegetarian food at some time in our lives. My sister and I started eating after our marriages though not under coercion from our spouses, but my brother still is a vegetarian, though his wife is a non-vegetarian.
So, the decision is yours to take! I think, that left him even more confused. I think this confusion is good. After all, life is not always black and white; there is a lot of grey.
PS: I believe that the choices we make in our life must be based on our own free will and convictions and not based on heckling or pressuring.
I know. Choices in life are so many and so difficult to make. And the simpler the choice we think it is, like in the case of what we eat, it is actually the contrary.
True. Choices are baffling especially those moral or ethical in nature.
yeah, I agree. But am a bit confused. Do chickens Bleat. ;-).
hehe :). Bhuva, you know in what context I used that :).
Absolutely. He has to decide by himself. Decisions cannot be forced. After all he is an individual and he has to find by himself what he wants.
I was never forced by my husband to leave off non veg but it was a conscious decision by myself and a decision which I am quite proud of. If he had forced me, maybe I would never have left eating. 😛
And, you make a valid point. When we are forced to do something or fed a lot of emotional blackmail to make decisions, they are bound to be hated. I want both my children to decide for themselves. The same applied to my husband. No pressures from him to eat non-veg, but I started eating more out of convenience. So, I own that decision now.
Absolutely.
I am sure, when your son will grow up, he will be able to understand the meaning of free will and will make his own choice at some point of time.
Good Luck.
Yes, hopefully he will.
I am a strict veg but my husband is a non-veg….What can we say when we drink cows milk which is meant for the calf…I have seen the calf pulled away because the cow was to be milked for commercial purposes. They also give various hormone injections to these animals for more production… And then what about millions who live close to the sea where only sea food is available…? It has to be informed personal choice.
I have seen that about injections to milk the cow and COW is supposed to be a SACRED animal .. but when it comes to selling the milk for money all this being sacred goes out of the window…
Totally agree Alka. It must be an informed personal choice and must be rid of stigma at least from the parents’ end. I have seen parents tell their children that God will be angry and some such stuff. I mean, if you wish to talk to the kids about the moral or ethical reasons behind avoiding meat, do so by all means. But, don’t paint vegetarianism with a brush of righteousness. As you pointed out, we are drinking cow’s milk, denying the calves, and the cows are treated no better. And vegetables and fruits have life too.
Bikram Religion is used as a matter of convenience to hide behind for certain archaic beliefs and practices.
We give up meat every year for Lent. I have to admit that I enjoy it at first because it makes me think harder about my diet. By the end of the Lenten fast (6 weeks) I am craving meat. The rest of the year I eat vegetarian meals twice a wee and fish twice.
I am very pleased that you are so supportive of yur son and getting him to think about his own choices.
Thank you Jane. In India, most of us eat vegetarian meals most times. We actually eat non-veg food maybe twice a week. I am not about to heap morals on an impressionable mind.
You are so right with that reply. And the teacher said the right thing we the humans are the worst animals. and planet earth and all its Live’s will be better off if humans did not exist.
But the way some animals are treated is really bad, no ones gives a damn, and I am afraid maybe the meat that is being eaten may not actually be good for health because of the conditions the animals are left in.
Bikram’s
Oh yes, Bikram, it will be us humans who will bring this earth to an end. Those are concerns too with mercury in fish and toxins in meat. But, do you know how toxic fruits and vegetables are these days. We will have to stop eating this way.
yes , 2 years back i was invited to india by some farming place as they wanted our land on lease for the Organic stuff etc , they showed us how to grow vegetables in half the time .. and also how to have colored vegetables . I was horrified. needless to say they did not get my piece of land for that .. I mean how can someone do all that knowing pretty well it is going to hurt in the long run ..
Bikram’s
And that is disgusting. What are we going to do? Even masalas, oil, milk are adulterated. Add to it the pollution levels, and this is a recipe for disaster. Have you seen how things like allergies are affecting our children much more. I was scared to read about the toxic water in which greens like spinach are grown :(.
I am a vegeterian but all other members of my family eat non vegeterian food.Most of the times I am the one preparing non-veg meals for them.My kids are used to of visiting butcher shop with their dad to buy meat and every year they participate in fish -catching at our village during bihu time .They never expressed their desire to give up non vegeterian food.Like you I too believe in the concept of our own free will and conviction.
Good for you! I am prepared if my son wants to talk to me about the moral and ethical issues of eating meat. But, I want it to be done at his pace.
It’s definitely an individual choice. I do not eat meat but I am not forcing vegetarianism on anyone.
Kudos Agnes!
It is really sad that innocent animals are killed for food, but then even vegetables have life and we eat them without a second thought, we pluck flowers to keep in our vase, I really can’t figure it out. These things really bother me, and nobody has the perfect answer. We also keep saying that we don’t eat meat, yet we eat we keep drinking milk, not even leaving enough for the calf, and other horrible things under the name of vegetarianism.
You raise such pertinent points Rama. No one has a perfect answer.
totally agree with what u said yar..choices we make in our life must be based on our own free will..nature willl show the right way…
Sure, nature will show the right way!
You are right, choices be made of free will, but with children guidance may be provided…
I am a pure veg and shamelessly advocate it to everybody, not because it will benefit me in some, but because I believe in the cause.
I believe that in such issues my guidance is bound to be colored by my biases. Since food is a passionate issue, I am bound to force my views on him. I want him to use his judgment, and he has the knowledge to make the decision. He can always come to me when he is confused, and I will try to guide him in a non-biased manner.
Happy for you and your convictions. I hope that you do the promoting in a non-judgmental manner with a respect for others’ views on the subject.
right!
even though i have heard & even seen the cruelties like in poultry farms, as a hard-core non-veg, i can never think of giving up meat
but what ur son said was poignant that we are the most dangerous. i like his sensitivity to things around him
I can understand what you are saying. We like something, and we stick with it. Your observation is correct. He is more sensitive than many other kids. Sometimes that works to his disadvantage as he can be easily hurt or bullied.
you know Rachna this has been worrying me for so long. I was like that too as they say in kannada “paapa” – sensitive as a child & growing up, everyone took me for granted or bullied me. but i dont want tanvi to be like me. I want her to be like Sathya – give back to people,bit little tough. but seriously don’t know how to do it!!!!!!!
:((((((
because as u said he is sensitive but it may be disadvantage also
can you maybe one day write on this? i would love to read you
Yes Sujatha, he gets affected more easily by things, extra sensitive or touchy in some issues, cries easily, finds it hard to control his emotions and faced a lot of problems when he was younger of kids picking on him and bullying him. Even now, he faces bullying sometimes because boys are mostly cruel, mean, and physical. His dad and I are trying our best to teach him how to control his emotions in situations of friction, how not to take abuse or bullying from others. It is not easy. He is learning slowly, but I’d love him to be this gentle, sensitive soul that he is. That makes him really special!
Sure will try to do a post on this too. Wish you the best with Tanvi. I think in this world of brash kids, gentle, sensitive kids are a breath of fresh air and should be cherished.
The wisest thing to do! while you can’t let them make all decisions in life, there are some that they should do on their own and this one is definitely one of them. And look how sensitive he is! How do I know? I had done the same thing with the perfect peace of mind. Hugs to both of you.
Absolutely, certain decisions are made by the parents only. Things like morals and ethics are so subjective. Yes, he is very sensitive and much more observant. He also gets hurt and bullied easily. Being a boy, he is supposed to be tough and less emotional. But, thanks a lot for the encouragement. I am so happy that many people who commented agreed to this point of view. I was under the impression that this being a sensitive and moralistic issue, people might feel that I was being evasive or letting go of my responsibility to show the right path to my child.
Thats a sound piece of advice 🙂 Your son will grow up to make right decisions 🙂
Thank you Insignia. Every parent hopes for that :).
Rachna, you sure are a sweet mother to let your son make up his mind to choose what he would like to eat! I will make good company for him being a vegetarian:)
Thank you Rahul! Absolutely :).
“life is not always black and white; there is a lot of grey” – I loved that one..
Thank you!
I am a vegetarian but I guess your post is not about vegetarianism. I like your conclusion about free will.But the point is that when we make choices we need to stand by them and accept responsibility if it does not work. Conviction is part of making a choice as also the humility to accept if one is wrong. Short post but a good one!
I am more of vegetarian n less of non -veg!
I relish more veg food..
I dont want to debate..but its personal choice and other thing is …everything comes back to a full circle as destined to keep it balanced!
otherwise this world will explode!
Thank you! I agree Meera. That is the point that whatever choice we make, we must be able to stand by them and also accept its failures if any. If forced to make a certain choice, the buck quickly passes. There is no ownership.
Harman I am not trying to propagate a particular way of life. Like I explained, I was a vegetarian for most of my life as well. At that time, I considered it fit to not eat non-veg food. Even now, we eat non-veg food conservatively. I am not trying to get into the moral issues here. Just trying to explain that such issues and the related choices must be after careful consideration and based on what an individual wants.
Ur such a caring n sweet mom ur son is very luckyy 🙂
Thank you Kala :). That is really generous of you.
Great post Rachna! I totally agree with you. Sid is on the right track!
Thanks so much! I hope so too :).
An interesting conversation which will have a wonderful outcome in the long run! Impressive! 🙂
liked it…
ahmedabadonnet.com
:).
there was a post u wrote on women being directionless when driving. can u send me link to that
Is it this post?
http://www.rachnaparmar.com/2011/02/struggles-of-woman.html
yes may b this. I wanted to know if u were as bad as me when it comes to directions, thnx for giving me the link,
🙂
I am not that bad with directions. My husband is definitely better :). If I drive on a route, I will remember it.
and u shld read this post. http://pepperedthoughts.wordpress.com/2011/06/20/when-the-guilt-weighs-you-down/
btw this blog is v gud, would recommend
Thank you for the link. I did read it!
Your son has such an inquisitive mind! And a wise mother.:)
The conversations with kids are so interesting. Kids teach you so much.