Nah, don’t worry about it. I am not talking about someone hurting my feelings though of course that happens. I recently watched this slow dramatic slice-of-life movie named You Hurt My Feelings.
It stars Julia Louis Dreyfus, whose comic timing I love, and Tobias Menezes who is marvellous in both grey as well as good roles. They play a middle-aged couple with settled careers and related insecurities. The cast is so good, which is especially important in these kind of movies.
There is nothing earth shattering in the movie or some big messages to be conveyed. But, it’s a good watch especially if you can relate with middle age. A time in life when you are pretty much settled in a comfortable cozy relationship with the spouse. Your professional work chugs along with not too many earth shattering things to do, and the kids are grown up.
I mean they are adults and not kids anymore. They are old enough to tell you what they didn’t appreciate in your parenting. 🙂
You have parents who are much older and getting increasingly stubborn (not my dad in case you are reading dad 🙂 ) and hard to handle. A sister, just like in the movie who is supportive yet honest (not brutally so) and gets along well with the titular character. I relate to that in real life too.
But, the premise of the movie is interesting. It is about white lies we tell each other, not only our family but friends as well. Because you don’t want to hurt someone. Is there anything wrong in it? I don’t know. At least I don’t think so. What is the fine line to walk between brutal honesty and lie? How to straddle the correct balance between being encouraging and motivating and telling it as it is. This may seem simple but is often so hard to strike the right balance with.
I, for one, am taken aback when people are way too outspoken in a brazen manner. It matters to me that things are conveyed nicely and diplomatically. But then do they lose the message? What do you think?
I mean, we all expect a certain honesty from our loved ones, but do we really want to hear that the haircut looks awful or that the recent recipe you made sucks or that the dress didn’t suit me one bit? Is there a way to sweeten the feedback while still conveying the core message? When should you weigh whether honesty is at all important in what you are about to say? 🙂
How do we put it in a way that does not hurt the feelings of someone close to us, yet keeps us honest? It is truly hard, if not impossible.
As a creative person, I recognise and appreciate the impostor syndrome the title character faces. I don’t know about other professions, but under the facade of confidence, there is so much professional insecurity that lurks under the surface for someone creative like a writer or a content creator.
Do I really have any talent at all? Are people just being nice to me? Who even cares about what I do? It is even worse when most people do not understand what you do or what is the process. You don’t tick the boxes of what people understand about professional work. I have the hardest time explaining digital content creation that is my work to the others.
The most annoying aspect is when people think it is a hobby when the opposite is true. I work most weekends too (at least for some time). There is so much of learning and constant updation that comes with the territory. It is also lonely because I work solo and most often don’t find anyone to have energising conversations with about my work.
Anyway, this is what the movie led me to do. One, write a post after ages. And second realise that there really is no right or wrong but a certain awareness to not be that really cruel person.
Anyhow, if you have seen the movie what did you think about it? Good, bad, boring? Would love to hear your thoughts on the core topic too.