This is the concluding part of Etiquette of Volunteering, which was my previous post. This Guest Post by Bhavana of Tilling the Earthwoman fame addresses other relevant issues related to volunteering. She amazes me with her warmth, patience, vast experience and wealth of knowledge that she is willing to share so openly. If you have ever considered volunteering, this is your person and place for all the answers you need. If you haven’t read the first part, read it here.
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Etiquette of Volunteering-II
In my last post, I wrote about regularity, the reality of NGO functioning and the need for cultural sensitivity in volunteering. Please read that post here. In this post, I focus on winning trust and fundraising as a volunteer.
How to Win Trust
I have learnt through many failures that the first step to enacting change is to win the trust of the community that you are working for. You cannot show off your knowledge, your “liberated” status, your clothes, or your lifestyle. Instead, you become humble and adapt to their clothes and lifestyle without giving up your core values. In-your-face statements don’t help. What helps is listening, empathizing, caring, and doing hands-on work. When you are allowed to become a friend of the community, then you can suggest changes. But again, your suggestions maybe accepted or not. You need to persevere.
To that end, my inspiration is Elango Rangaswamy, the former Panchayat leader at Kuthumbakkam, a model village in Tamil Nadu. A Dalit panchayat leader, he related to me how caste divisions still exist in Tamil Nadu and how he overcame them. At his first Panchayat meeting as its head, instead of bragging about overcoming caste barriers, he silently sat down on the floor while others who were of higher castes sat on chairs. They were stunned and requested him to sit on the chair. Similarly, he gently nudges folks to include women in the meetings—not just as symbolic numbers, but to listen to their voice and include them actively. He tells me—in development work, one needs to take everyone along.
When you enter into volunteering, please do not expect change to happen in your term or sometimes even in your lifetime. Change is slow, painful and complex. Sometimes change happens years after you leave. But know this that every push, every sweat has made its way to make that change possible.
Volunteering also requires shedding of ego and willingness to do the most menial of tasks. It helps if you use volunteering as a detox process and spiritual growth. I had volunteered with Hands of the Carribbean to conduct a fundraiser for the Haiti Earthquake of 2010. The fundraiser was moving splendidly till the washroom toilets had a leak and water flooded the entire area. The plumbers were not easily available. The only way to save the show was to undertake cleaning work ourselves. Two of us took the mop, bucket and drained the water and cleaned the toilets to make it usable again. I was soaked with toilet water at the end of it and could not stay for the event. But I left very happy.
Fundraising
Most NGOs that are doing real work need funds. That’s where they need volunteers. I have noticed that many people shrug from asking for donations. I have overcome this hesitancy over the years. First, sometimes I offer services in exchange of donations. I have cooked for many fundraisers. I have also learnt the art of increasing the value of your cooking. A couple who are good friends of mine in United States “auctioned” an evening at their house—Indian dinner served on fine cutlery followed by a Bollywood movie, complete with explanation of contexts etc. It is a lovely and innovative idea. You can create your own version—an Italian dinner with dessert and wine followed by a nice European movie, complete with explanations.
I have also used my writing and speaking skills to fundraise. While on field post-Tsunami disaster, I sent email updates (I did not know about blogging at that time) to my friends which were circulated widely. Some of these updates resulted in actual commitment of funds for the efforts. After returning to United States, I used my experience to give moving presentations at fundraisers on the situation on the ground. In India, I have been presenting before many business community get-togethers to bring awareness and fundraise. Over the years, I have become more cheeky and more demanding on instant commitment at the end of the presentation.
Secondly, I realized I was not asking money for myself. I was asking money for a good cause which I believe in. So I do not need to be ashamed. A fundraiser friend of mine also told me how she often invoked the “Bhavati Bikshan Dehi” concept of the Buddhist monks where the monks beg for their food as a way to humble themselves. Both these notions work for me. And today, I do not feel the least little bit ashamed in knocking on doors to seek funds.
But if I have fundraised for an NGO, I make it a point to follow it up to see if the money has been used properly and prefer to see documentation in this regard. I am often harsh and insistent on this point and I never fundraise for a group whose systems of reporting back or accounting is weak. The money needs to go to the beneficiary—there must be results.
Volunteering is a wonderful way to mature as a person. As much as you give, you also receive within. You become calmer, less depressed, and more joyful. You also become more skilled in interpersonal and networking skills, in team work and in managing rapidly changing situations. I have become a better person because I volunteered.
If you are not already volunteering, please give it a try. It is worth your time!
Image courtesy: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Bhavana, this one is a fabulous post again. I’ve always had trouble in asking for money. But, you very aptly point out that it helps in humbling us and also it is important to remember that we are not asking for ourselves. Your points about throwing attitude and expecting immediate change are pertinent as well.
Thank you for the opportunity to write in your lovely blog, Rachna. Yes, asking money is the hardest part and constantly telling yourself I am doing this not for myself but for a higher cause eases out that hesitation. But yes, I have to keep telling myself that:)
True Bhavana, one must do something rather than only being vocal about it and volunteering is a great idea to give back to the society.
Thanks, Alka, for the solidarity. Yes indeed, volunteering is a way of sharing our goodies–be it skills, money or just our love:)
Rachna, you and Bhavana have succinctly brought out the need for ‘walking the talk’ which is so important for a people connect! Sadly, this aspect is missing in so many campaigns!
So true, Rahulji. But it is hard to walk the talk–very hard. I fail so many times and it is when I see others who keep their light aflame, that I myself have strength to continue and go deeper.
Thanks so much, Rahul!
HI Bhavana
Standing by example is something you are doing and thats great.Loved the final para where you say that volunteering helps you mature as a person. During my last visit to India I went to a nearby orphanage to donate. We gave some clothes of my son – quite new , I mean used once or twice but he had outgrown…And we also gave some money…Its not a big deal but I felt extreme bliss that day…I can imagine the contentment actual in-the-field volunteering would provide. Thanks for the post!
Doesn’t it make you happy? Yes, for me social work is my lifelines–that is the one way I stay afloat and joyful. Thank you for what you gave. I hope you have many more such moments of bliss!
Well said Bhavana.Mighty talkers are no good. Interesting to note the case of the Panchayat leader. Happy to note changes start at grass root levels. Nice series, Rachna.
Cloud Nine–changes that becomes changes need to start from grassroots else they fail so badly. I have been part of top-down systems and I have watched myself fail. I now know the only hope is in empowering people to make the change and then supporting the approach they choose.
Glad you find it of interest, Cloud Nine. Thank you!
Very useful pointers in deglamourising ‘Social work’ which is indulged in and for Page 3 reviews
Thank you, Magiceye! So true social work is such a fashionable thing. At some level I don’t mind it being fashionable–I did rather have this as fashion rather than using ecstasy drugs. I would rather have volunteer raves than cocaine raves:)
loved the innovative ideas of fundraising.
a wonderful post again on volunteering. learnt many things.
Mr. Elango Rangaswamy should be a role model for everyone. not only those who are actively involved with social work but for all of us. delighted to know about him.
Mr Elango is an inspiration–you should hear him talk sometime. He is a brilliant speaker. check him out on youtube videos.
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Great post with many useful and important points.
Thanks Abhinav!
Bhavana,
A post with right guidance. Hope I can use some of your ways in my working.
Take care
Rachna,
Thanks a lot.
Take care
Jack, I know you yourself have a lot of experience. Please do add in your insights to the piece
Thank you!
I tried doing some work many years ago but I think I was not connected with good NGOs. After reading your posts I think I know what and how to do it. Thanks to both of you for sharing this!
I am so glad it helps, Saru!!! I am sure Rachna is also please that her guest post in her blog is helping folks!
I am so glad it helps Saru! That is delightful:)
Highly motivational. As you said, we have to overcome the shame feeling in asking for funds. I wanted to meet you in person immediately to get trained in that aspect..:) Again, a wonderful post. I don’t know whose idea it is to write on volunteering, it’s a great piece of information and encouragement to all of us.
Oh I so glad, Found in Folsom!!!! I am glad it motivates you. That makes my day! Rachna’s blog is the perfect place for this post–I am so glad she asked me to do it!
I am so happy you find it useful, Found in Folsom! I am just a means, the knowledge and the passion is all Bhavana’s!
Rachna/Bhavana, thank you both so much for this comprehensive overview of volunteering, and then again, part one and part two. i have personally experienced many of these issues in my attempts to work with disadvantaged communities. sensitivity to cultural issues and respect for the choices available in the community are very important, since many of us, me included, often come with a solution that we think is right. very often that is not the best solution.
for those of us who have not experienced poverty, displacement or destitution, it is impossible to know what it feels like to consider options and choose from them. same is the case with diseases, even diseases as disparate as HIV and leprosy. morality undergoes radical change when faced with the immediacy of mortality. and to be effective in such a setting, it is important to replace judgement with empathy and a learning and seeking spirit.
great post, Bhavana. a perfect balance of gentleness and clarity.
Subho, your comment is a perfect accompaniment to this post! Yes, we look at solutions from our own standpoints–we don’t understand when hunger rattles the stomach and blinds the head, that all known social rules and norms collapse. As you said beautifully–it is empathy and understanding that helps!
Thank you Subhorup!
Rachna & Bhavana,
A wonderful post with solid ideas for volunteering. Worth keeping in mind.
What caught my appeal //When you enter into volunteering, please do not expect change to happen in your term or sometimes even in your lifetime. Change is slow, painful and complex. Sometimes change happens years after you leave. But know this that every push, every sweat has made its way to make that change possible.
Volunteering also requires shedding of ego and willingness to do the most menial of tasks. It helps if you use volunteering as a detox process and spiritual growth.//
Thanks Bhavana!
Thank You Vetrimagal!
Yes, Vetrimagal! Change takes so much time. There is this lovely book whose name escapes me at this moment which is for social workers who have become cynical. And the author documents changes that happened many decades after the initial movement/push. Lovely heart-warming book!
And yes, it requires losing one’s ego and that one is so not easy 🙁
A great post again. While reading about fundraising, I remembered my school days where we used to be given the task of raising funds for Helpage India. There were prizes for children who collected a specific sum and we all used to compete for that! We went from door-to-door proudly talking about the noble venture we were a part of and were eager to fill up our forms with various names and the donations given, however small it was. But that was when we were kids. When the same initiative happened when we were in class 12th, almost everyone in my class, including me, wrote down three or four names (of course, all family members) and split up the total amount (given by the parents) against each name. That’s shame, as we grow up, I guess.:)
Your pointers help and I say it again, you are doing a wonderful job, Bhavana.
Thanks again, Rachna. 🙂
Thanks for sharing that example, Destiny’s child…yes, indeed, how we change over time…
I am glad it helps. And thank you for your kind words.
Kudos to Rachna for creating a space conducive to such discussions!
Glad you liked it, Destiny’s child!
And, I remember too when we had do collect donations for the Blind. My experience was not so good. There were aunties who would talk rudely or slam doors. The uncles were nicer. How can someone be rude to a girl in 8th Standard. And, it was hard work to get 50 people to donate. Of course, dad and mom would contribute to what others missed out. These days, it is better. Today, if a child comes to my doorstep, she will go away happy with the donation, some warm words and probably candy too :).
Rachna, that’s really rudeness at it’s worst, isn’t it? Treating children on a mission like beggars! The children in your locality are lucky! 🙂
I agree, but people were like this. And school would force us every year to collect money, and I used to dread it.
real inspiration post..no wonder i admire yr blog so much..
Thank you Ramesh! It means a lot coming from you.
I am glad you found it inspirational:)
A very illuminating post. I like it how you have gone into details and explained how to go about the task of fundraising and volunteering. I remember when I was in 10th Standard, Mr. Chandrababu Naidu’s government initiated Janmabhoomi program where all the students volunteered for social causes. We were in the slums sweeping and cleaning the litter. After it was done there was a real feeling of collective accomplishment and those who participated were given certificates; it felt great.
See, we have had many good childhood experiences about social work. What happens as we grow up? Why do we lose that urge to help our fellow-beings? Thanks for sharing Sandeep!
I always hate to ask for money, ego plays a part, I guess. You are right, it is humbling 🙂
Yes..it is hard initially–but slowly you get over it:)
Nicely said about Volunteering and ego Bhavana. And good innovative ideas of fundraising. I have been a part of a nameless charity group. The money goes to buy pen, pencil, books, uniform for school children in a little village. But I amd my mom have struggled to raise the fund. Should try and incorporate some of your ideas.
That is so beautiful Vaish!!! The village kids need it the most! Kudos to you and your mom!
Bhavna your posts are so inspiring.You are a living example that humanity is not dead & it is the greatest way to find satisfaction & meaning in life.God bless you.
Thank you for this inspiring post Mam. I am doing a fundraising for an NGO and this is actually my first time. Frankly speaking, I haven’t been much successful till now but hope that my fundraising skill will improve over time… Those words of wisdom from you will be of great help.