Kids meet more kids – headache multiplies manifold :)

Kids got to meet their cousins – my sis-in-law’s kids during our recent vacation. The girl (Isha) is slightly older than Siddharth and the boy (Akhil) is a year younger to Gautam. What is with boys and cars, first of all? I had taken along just 4-5 small toy cars for Gautam as his familiar toys. Now his cousin had a plethora of huge cars and trucks which his mom thought would ensure that the kids keep away from each other. On the contrary, the little chap Akhil wanted only what Gautam had in his hand, calling Gautam’s small Audi replica “bigass” which we assumed meant big car by some stretch of imagination :). God these boys troubled us so much. Akki wanted only Gautu’s cars and Gautam would not budge. He would only get benevolent when he was offered something as a bribe. It was a real nuisance. If Gautam felt Akhil got too much attention, he would just push him or hit him. Gautam is such a brat and a huge embarrassment and Akhil would just not let go always demanding anything Gautam wanted.

Isha and Siddharth were very happy to swap each other’s Nintendo’ or to play joint games on their individual ones. At least, they were not at each other’s throats! Everytime, we make a trip which involves kids of two families interacting, I’ve noticed that it becomes sort of a power struggle. Each set of parents try to look non-commital and impartial but are always looking out for their own kids. When we were growing up, we fought a lot with our cousins too and much more physically. But, I remember that we sorted our troubles and quarrels ourselves and hardly ever involved our parents. Maybe because we played outdoors mostly. Now the outdoor spaces have shrunk and the parents are more involved or “intrusive” and end up disciplining their kids all the while. Kids also get used to complaining about each other all the time. It is so bugging but in some way we are responsible for the mess.

What is a more appropriate approach, I frankly do not know. I just know that my sons expect me to adjudicate way too often and I wish this to be curtailed but don’t know how to do it. I think all the parenting books and websites are crap, they mostly talk of stuff really not doable when tempers are running high. I only know that this constant quarreling between kids acts as a big dampener in planning family get togethers.