Questions can be reflection of curiosity or a genuine query especially with kids. But have you noticed that a harmless query can sometimes land you in trouble like it happened with me? A most embarrassing situation was created when I asked an acquaintance – a lady, when her due date was. She had a huge belly, and I assumed that she was expecting! Well, I clearly made an ass of myself, as she was not pregnant but had strangely gained loads of weight on her tummy. I was so ashamed of myself, and all I could mumble was sorry. Since then, I have never asked any lady ever if she is expecting :). As you must be aware, weight is a very touchy topic with women. And, how terrible I must have made her feel! Another embarrassing situation happened when I went to the mall and mistakenly thought that a guy standing in one of the aisles was an employee. He had worn similar colored clothes. The guy turned to me, explained the thing and then pointed to the place where I could find it. When I said thank you with a smile, he smiled back and said, “You’re welcome, but I don’t work here.” Before I could say sorry, he said it was no big deal and went away. I felt pretty sheepish. These days, I am double careful when I approach employees; I now look for IDs or logos :).
Apparently, it is only kids who can say anything and get away with it. Of course, innocent kids don’t know, but adults are expected to behave more responsibly. So a child may get away by saying that he does not like the guest’s food and will not eat it. The guest will fuss over what the child wishes to eat. But, an adult will have to suffer, gobble it, and also praise it.
And, then there are those annoying folks who ask really personal questions. If you are someone close to me or at least someone I’ve interacted with in depth, I am open to it. But, if I have met you twice then you are clearly crossing the line while doing so. You must prepare for my most frosty stare. And another thing I find obnoxious is too much self-praise. I know these are the times for self-promotion and talking big, but please don’t give me I am this, I am that, I am gorgeous blah blah blah. Give others an opportunity to praise you, will you? I find women indulging in this much more than men. Keep it for your social networking profile, I’d say 🙂. And like many others have said here “My kid genius” syndrome has severely afflicted most parents these days. They just can’t stop showing off.
Have you encountered any such people? And what is the most embarrassing question you’ve asked?
Image courtesy: Freedigitalphotos.net
As far knowing someone who loves praising himself, the one person that comes to my mind is my ex-MIL. She has no other topic to talk except self praise or criticizing others. The worst part was it wasn’t alone with me but with anyone she is talking to.
I can imagine your embarrassment after the first incident.
You are so right, ME! Some people are so full of themselves, they just start anywhere and with anyone.
Oh yes, I asked my friend who is living in Mumbai that if she is pregnant. She said yes but the trouble started when she asked how do I know. I said you uploaded a picture on FB and she said it was of her high school days 😀 Talk about landing in trouble.
Food, is no worry but with self praise, that is the last conversation I have with such a person. I can’t stand it.
hehe Now that must have been a dicey situation for you. About self praise, even I find it so bugging. I try to ignore or switch off and let the person ramble.
A wrong question or statement can put one in a quandry! I too have experienced it once but that would probably need another post:)
Look forward to your post :).
ha ha…lesson well learned!
Absolutely :).
lol. I was at a class party and an 8 year old ran across the room and yelled in my face? “Are you having a baby?” Nevermind lack of manners. But I clearly had a belly. And thank the lucky stars, no, I was not pregnant!
hehe And kids can get away with it, can’t they? :).
Lol…what else girl? the one in the first para that you asked..and can you believe what a dumb ass I could be? I did it twice. After the first incident, I swore I would never ask a woman that qn again 🙂 But then, the dog’s tail is never straight..I did after 6 yrs again..asked the same qn 🙂 Lol…Now, I see my son’s drawing teacher’s tummy getting big. I think she is pregnant too, was almost abt to ask it last wk, but then I told myself, latha..control…control..wait for 3 more wks..heeheh am so bad..the 2nd part, I recently faced it..self praise, some people some times..not about them but their kids…I put an idiotic smile on my face and say oh yes oh yes and inside I would be grumbling, grunting, scowling what not..
hehe You are itching to ask her, aren’t you? :). Latha you naughty girl ;P. Yes you are absolutely right! How could I leave that part of my kid genius syndrome that has afflicted most parents these days.
When a long lost friend reached out to me I asked, “Which Annie are you?” Because I had made friends with 3 different Annie’s. Apparantly she wasn’t mused and went “missing” again. 🙁
Now that is so hilarious :). Poor Annie.
I guess every one face such situations i think 🙂
🙂
Oh Rachna, I learned this lesson the hard way. I have asked the due date question one too many times… so embarrassing!
hehe Haven’t we all been there?
Self praise is unavoidable for two kinds of people; one, who are deprived of appreciation that they think they deserve and then those who are addicted to being center of attraction. I have been around such people most of the time but So it hardly bothers me and I hardly get annoyed.
The most embarrassing question for me has been “Kya Hua?” or What happened? I believe I’m a helpful person and can go out of the way to assist people in finding out solution to their problems. So, whenever I saw people in crisis, I was persistent to know their problem so that I could suggest some possible solution or be of some help to them. But what I have failed to realize is that there were times when they didn’t need me; may be because I wasn’t close enough to them or may be their problem was very personal. However, eventually, I stopped being inquisitive towards other’s problems and now I’m glad to mind my own business.
I LOVE your first sentence so much I want to quote it on Facebook!!:) So true!
Thanks Colleen! 🙂
Welcome Worship Stars! You make a pertinent point about the need to brag. And yes often too much concern can be intrusive because perhaps the other person does not feel close enough to reveal.
Oh, Rachna, my face turned red just reading your confession about mistaking a woman who had gained weight for one who was pregnant. Who among us has not made a gaff like this at one time or another? You have reminded all of us so beautifully here to be self-aware, aware of the feelings of others, and to not parade our pride and vanity. Great lessons!
Blessings to you!
Thank you so much Martha for such warm words. The embarrassing situations in our life teach us so much.
There are two elements in your post. Foot-in-the-mouth syndrome and braggarts. I remember how once I went on and on about the way many parents treat their offspring like toddlers even when the latter themselves have become parents and how a line should be drawn somewhere. At the end of it all, my friend quietly told me she had lost her parents when she was just an infant.
As for the braggarts, well, blogging is the right platform to meet hordes of connoisseurs of the art. All the best.
Absolutely. And you must have felt ashamed and speechless at that. But, then you couldn’t have known that fact either. Sometimes we hurt someone unintentionally. Braggarts are very common in these times in general. Modesty is dead, and no one cares for humility.
Recognize these situations well.
:).
I never ask personal questions but have been at the receiving end of many – ranging form why aren’t you married to what is your salary ..
I can never understand how people can ask each other about salaries? It really is foolish. Personal questions like marriage and kids are so common in India. What can one say?
By asking some questions we really put our foot in our mouth. There was this Tamilian lady who came to our neighbourhood to whom we used to sell old newspapers, plastic and other stuff. A young chap used to accompany her. One day while she was weighing the papers and putting together the stuff, my father asked her casually, “Is that your son?” She replied, “No sir, my husband”. My father mortified to say the least. My mother blushed red and went in. After they had left Acha got chided by Amma. Poor Acha, it wasn’t really his fault, the guy looked so young! So I can imagine how you must have felt when you asked the poor lady about her non-existent pregnancy! Enjoyed the post, Rachna 🙂
hehe I laughed so loudly. I can’t imagine what your dad went through but I would have burst in fits of giggles if this had transpired in front of me. Terrible for the lady too :).
I always make an ass of myself Rachna, ALWAYS 🙂
When I board any flights I am given seats with more leg space obviously looking at my tummy. Earlier I used to feel embarrassed but now just enjoy it 😀
hehe And you are making the best of roomy seats, lucky ;P.
Aah! Enough of foot in mouth experiences!! Some are tooo embarrassing!! 😛
And loud mouth boasters… god save us from them!! Have this lady in our building complex, she is so proud of her children and whenever you meet her, my son is in Denver, daughter is an New Zealand, they do this, did that, studied here, own this, vacations here, buy only this brand… gosh it’s never ending!! 😐
LOL @ Keep it your social networking profile! 😀
Ah, I can so relate to these folks praising their kids to the sky. Just talking to them makes me want to throw up. Thanks for liking the post!
Has anyone faced a situation when the young one asked” Ma,how does the child get into the tummy”
Chowlaji I have been fighting off this question a lot of times. But a child is just curious, adults are intrusive.
“Save it for social networking”..hahaha!!!:) You make me smile, really what is with all the self praise?:) And yes, I have encountered people like this but must MUST work on my frosty stare. I am too “nice” sometimes and tend to feel I owe people (even those I don’t know) explanations but I’m working on that. I have occasionally asked an embarrassing question but only one that I remember was so terrible I am ashamed to this day of it. I really don’t have trouble with that so I asked this question completely without meaning to (REALLY!:) and as soon as I did, I felt awful because i really don’t make such big blunders usually. Ah well. Human and all that…:)
You are too sweet, Colleen. I can quite picture you being nice to everyone. I guess somewhere one stops caring and feels that the time has come to put the foot down :). It is not easy. Or trying saying something totally sensational. Now that would be fun, don’t you agree? :).
Oh my…I cringed when I read the part about the not-pregnant woman! I have done that with an ex-colleague in the US! Needless to say, I was as embarrassed as you were 🙂
hehe Rickie! Now is it even more embarrassing for a guy? :).
Even with skinny friends I have managed to embarrass myself throwing the casual ‘What’s with the soft drinks, you are not pregnant!’ ‘Actually, I am…’ *blush* … three times so far 🙂 Will keep this blog in mind for when we meet 🙂
hehe Let’s hope so :).
Oh i hate it when people ask me personal questions… someone I had met once or twice asked me why I didn’t have kids yet :/ ugh. She got the frosty stare too.
What? That is so ridiculous! I am imagining your frosty stare :).
I’ve asked someone if she was expecting … when she wasn’t – I think it is a common mistake.
I think my generation were bought up to be less boastful than the current one and we cringe at their inflated self-esteem. One of closest friends is quite a famous artist over here – a more modest and friendly person you couldn’t hope to meet. I wish more people would take a page from his book.
When I was a teenager adults always asked if I had a boyfriend? Then it was when would I get married? When was I having a baby? Now if anyone asks me a personal question – I joke asking them when did they become my old aunt … it does the trick (sort of)
You are right, Jane! This generation is so used to be brash and loves to project. We were taught the power of humility and goodness. These days, it is a mad rush to talk big. It gets sickening, doesn’t it? I liked your trick very much. I will use it next time :).
Rachna,
I agree that first one was a faux-paux but second one was genuine mistake considering his clothing. One needs to exercise caution while asking about personal issues keeping in mind the proximity with other.
Take care
You are right.
completely agree, I myself have mistaken the other customers for the sales person and asked them where a particular item can be found….and all the stares I got were not friendly or amusing, especially if the person in question was a lady. I have myself been the target of this faux-pas.
Hi Meenakshi. Welcome to my blog. I can imagine the situation you were in.
I remember asking a young lady who had joined the gym the same question. She was not fat in fact she was very fit and just had a small paunch that looked as if she was pregnant, and she had joined after they had advertised workout for pregnant women. I was bit worried,when i saw her do certain exercises, and just asked her the question, for which she said she had recently delivered, and has joined the gym to lose some of her excess belly fat, although I said sorry, she didn’t seem to mind at all and we have become friends.
I think it is in the nature of every Indian to ask personal questions without meaning any harm. Many a time i have put my foot in my mouth, but have managed to get out of it with dignity.(here is me praising myself).
Going for a short holiday to Ooty for the 4th or 5th time. Couldn’t get anywhere else, and we are entitled to a free holiday in Mahendra Resorts, so thought might as well take it and celebrate our wedding anniversary there.
Where did you stay during your recent visit?
Bye, rama.
In your case it was fine. But, it can be so embarrassing if the poor person has only gained some weight. I know, we tend to get personal very easily. But, I really think that we need to curb this habit. We stayed in Sterling Fern Hill. Hope you have a great time :).
Teehee!! After seeing the preggo scenario, I should tell you my own story. I was 8 months pregnant with Little a, so at that point, a man at my workplace very confidently congratulated me and asked me when I was due. I made an angry face and said, but I’m not pregnant!! You should have seen the poor chap’s face struggling with confusion and embarrassment until he realized that I was joking…then we both had a big laugh about it!!
hehe Now that was fun! Poor thing must be thinking how you could have gained that much weight ;P. You naughty girl!
Thats why I am very very careful before assuming that someone is pregnant ha ha…Happens Rachna! I dont remember anything specific now but I have had my own stupid-question moments!
Yes jaish! We all have our “earth swallow us now” moments ;-).
Yes these scenarios happen all the time. People ask very personal questions, make us feel out of place. Was fun reading the comments. Nice post.
Thank you so much, Sabyasachi. I enjoyed all comments and other hilarious situations that others have shared as well :).
I have done the ’employee thing’ so many times that now I make sure that I can see the badge before I open my mouth. I have embarrassed too many people.
As a child, I have also embarrassed my parents by asking repeatedly about sanitary napkins. They started changing channels to get rid of my questions. 🙂
🙂 Amit, my son began with the sanitary napkins questions and graduated to how does the baby get in the tummy ones. It is another ballgame thinking innovative answers to satisfy their queries and yet keep the information age appropriate.
Hi Rachna,
Here’s something that everyone can relate to! And it feels so insecure when people starts about asking personal questions!
Glad I stopped by…
Best wishes to you 🙂
Thank you Simran. So good to have you hear. Glad you could relate to the post.
Rachna this self praise bit really finds me climbing the walls or looking for exits.I read somewhere that as you say WHO YOU are-what you are,stands head n shoulders above you & shouts it to the whole world.
like it ?
Agree Indu! It is finally the persona that will speak louder than the words coming out the mouth, you are right about that.
I never ask a woman if she is expecting assuming that she has put on some weight. Why take panga by assuming something? There is another aspect to self praise too — thinking the world of oneself and acting as if everyone else is a fool. Those are worse.
I learnt that lesson the hard way after putting myself in that terrible situation :). Very aptly put about self praise. Humility is such an endearing quality. I hate people who are full of themselves and never miss an opportunity to show that. Those who fly too high fall back with a loud thud. This self praise thing is almost a disease these days :(.
Oh, Rachna, you touched a raw spot, by writing about embarrassing moments. I have had those , many a times, felt red faced for days later :-). Did not learn any lesson still. Now a days I get away, being a senior citizen.:-)
hehe That’s funny 🙂 Pattu!
when i cannot find something in a shop or mall, i don’t look for ids or logos, i ask every single person present there (repeatedly).
we indulge in self-praise out of insecurity and when we overdo it, people stop praising us. a nice read as always!!
Hey Deb, great to see you here. Thank you so much for liking the post.
i’ve been in so many such situations that it’s hard to share 1 😛
i remember one where i was driven from Bhopal Airport to Indore and on the way .. just to be sure we are on the right track .. we pullover and i asked a bystander if this road goes to Indore .. he said yes and explained the entire route .. just to make sure i asked him once again whether he’s confident or not .. he’s a localite and knows very well about the place .. i re-confirmed .. he said babu, pen paper hai kya, likh deta hoon aur sign bhi kar deta huun..nahi hua sahi toh court mein case kar dena 🙂
it may sound funny ..but i was in a fix that moment 😛
hehe a case of being overcautious ;-)!
I have never asked any embarrassing questions till now :P. I have done what you did, asked a random person in a supermarket thinking he was an employee.
I have come across people who will keep praising their wife and children. I find that extremely annoying.