Two episodes of Satyamev Jayate have been aired so far. And, they have created quite a buzz in the blogosphere. Everyone has an opinion, good or bad. The good thing is that it is getting eyeballs and encouraging discussions. The social causes handled so far are female foeticide and infanticide and child sexual abuse. Now, I am not going to review the program.I maintain that any awareness generated is a step in the right direction. And, instead of expecting a celebrity to work miracles; I am trying to see what I can do to help change the scheme of things.
I am going to talk about how the program has helped me personally. Yes! I have two young sons. Now, as a culture, we Indians are cagey about discussing sex with our children or any issues that figure around it. My parents did not do it! Hell, I am scared about how I would do it. We rely on schools, friends, magazines, books, internet, anything to release us from the embarrassment of facing our children’s questions. Hence, discussing something like sexual abuse or foeticide is truly difficult for us. The best approach would be to pretend that these things do not happen to decent people. No, this does not happen in India. Of course, it will not happen to our kids. No way, we are insulated in our false cocoon.
But, this program opens our eyes by sharing real-life incidents and statistics and by telling us that it can and will happen if we are not careful and aware. Today, when I was watching this program with my son. I asked him to sit through it with us. My elder son watched all the touching stories and the great small workshop about good and bad touch. The only thing the program lacked was on touching upon parental abuse of children. I think that must have been too much of a hot potato even for them to handle.
Anyhow, it gave me an opportunity to raise this topic with Siddharth. I wonder why as parents we were not aware of this simple workshop that Aamir conducted about good or bad touch on the program today. Even my 5-year-old son understood the 3 steps that he must undertake if someone touches him inappropriately. He understood what parts of his body must not be touched. Why can’t we have more such things demonstrated to us by child counselors or doctors? Oh, I am forgetting, we don’t approach counselors. That is for the psychologically imbalanced folks or the mentally disturbed ones. And the tony school where my kids go has no Child Counselor!
I am digressing. Anyway, the program opened up an avenue for me to talk to my kids and encourage them to ask questions. The program is in your face, yet it is sensitive. It lets us see that victims are just that — victims. They are brave souls who are not meant to be looked down upon. They did not do anything wrong. Any abuse is not their fault. And, kids really need to understand this part. The guilt and the fear that often accompanies abuse are sometimes the prime reasons why the abuse is not shared by the young victims.
As decent people, there are so many issues that we feel strongly about. Child abuse is one of them. I was horrified to find that there is no law against child abuse in India. And, I hope that our support will ensure that we get one soon. With every program, I am learning too — facts, dispelling my own myths, and sharing my own experiences.
The program is helping me address my own communication gap with my kids and for that I am grateful. It is also giving me a concrete avenue to make a difference by a simple SMS.
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Pic Courtesy: Kookkai_nak / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Rachna, as a mother you have done best service to teach your kids early and make them aware of this sensitive subject:) Such bold initiatives are needed at all homes to dispel myths:)
I think as parents we need to open our minds to these topics. Our kids face too many challenges these days, and as parents we must be there to listen to them and guide them. Thank you for your warm words.
However, difficult it might seem to us it is better, to make our children be aware of such things, for these things are nothing new, we only have been conditioned to remain silent about it. Even if we asked there was no way we would get straight answers for it. But things are changing, now it is all the more important to teach our children, important things, and not leave them to find it to for themselves, or suffer keeping it within themselves.
I can see a Oprah Winfrey style talk show, the surprises, the HA ho, tears and all that nonsense, but somehow she had the style to bring it out well, I don’t know about Amair, he always sounded too Gyani, and a little too superficial. As long as it helps some people it is ok, but these topics have been dealt many times in Oprah shows, but the problem was nobody really cared to watch it, while it was being aired in India for more than 15 years.
Yes, they are nothing new for sure, but we try to brush them under the carpet. I think Oprah has been a major influence on talk shows and talk show hosts, but I don’t find Aamir superficial. I don’t find the tears artificial because I find myself tearing many times too. The difference between Oprah and Aamir shows is that this is relevant and more contextual. It is easy to relate to a boy from mumbai than from someone sitting in LA. It is pertaining to us, has our statistics, and highlights our problems which are cultural and pertaining to only us. Besides, he is helping us do something concrete, so I think the show is really very good on that count.
I missed it. It comes early in the morning and I just forgot about it.
I hear som many cases here especially in schools that I keep telling my son on good and bad touch. Don’t know whether he understands but I hope it gets registered somewhere in his mind.
It is there on YouTube. You must see it. I had discussed bad touch with my son too but on a very rudimentary level. When he was in Kindergarten, I used to quiz him about his driver uncle, ayah aunty or teacher touching him inappropriately. But the workshop that Aamir conducted on the show was much more tailored towards kids and offered solutions to them in their language.
Great post Rachna.
For many years two of my nieces were abused by their step-father – we all only found out when the eldest one, at 18 told us all. We were ashamed that we had not realised, we knew there was something odd about the step-fathers behaviour but we never guessed at the source, too full of good British middle-class values to imagine that something like this could be happening within our family.
Sometimes, as in this case, the kids just have no-one they can tell (neither girl even knew he was doing it to the other one) because the abuser is so devious and controlling – I hope that your country changes it’s laws soon! The deep rooted insecurities and feeling of rejection my nieces suffered makes my blood boil.
Thank you Jane. My heart goes out to your nieces and to all the kids who were abused by people meant to protect them or those trusted and respected by their families. You are exactly right, we just cannot think that something like this can happen in our family, and this offers the maximum protection to the perpetrator. Yes, we are hoping that the bill before our Parliament becomes a law soon. God knows, we all are supporting it.
And what I like about the program is, that it’s not just empty words. After each episode, Amir follows it up with some constructive action.
After the female foeticide episode, Raj CM, Gehlot has assured that all the doctors involved will be tried in a fast track court!
Exactly Purba! At least we can see some concrete goal, and there is a tangible action that we can take. I don’t know why this is being ignored among other minor issues like style or fees of the celebrity. Is it because we have become so cynical that we cannot look beyond it?
You know ,we have had these kind of workshops in school . Separate for both boys and girls ,I think I was 10 or 12 that time but they really were helpful and completely handled by professionals .
I wish more schools organize such seminars on regular basis
When I was growing up, we had something on sex education, but the teachers and the students were all uncomfortable. Besides, no one even murmured about bad touches or child abuse. Perhaps, it is better these days in school.
I hope more is done.. we have a lot further to go …
Talking is the best , know ur child and give the child so much confidence that they are able to tell you everything ..
Bikram’s
Yes,at the level of parents we really have to talk and be perceptive when it comes to our kids to perceive subtle changes in their behavior even if they don’t come and tell us. We have to fight our own demons before we can help our children with theirs. And, a lot more needs to be done in terms of laws.
I was so happy that this was the topic in the very second episode. And I happier that Aamir is concentrating on children, who are the most helpless of the populace. If we don’t have empathy for the children, we can only hope to have more problems among the coming generations. I am glad you were one of the mothers who watched the programme with your kids. Hugs.
I agree. I was happy too. It touched me to see adults who suffered so much as kids left with scars that will take a lifetime to heal. I can’t imagine what their parents must have gone through. As parents, if you fail to protect your child, it is your biggest failure, and the guilt will never leave you. I remember watching the first episode with my dad, husband and kids. It was emotional. Sometimes, it is so difficult to explain such things to our kids because female foeticide is truly a tribal tendency. Hugs back!
Good one…
http://www.gujaratonnet.com
Rachna,
I agree with you entirely on this. We definitely hesitate to approach talking of sex education to our children. Though I have very open approach but it was still difficult for me to speak on this issue. We surely need some help from educational institutions to impart such knowledge as per the age of child and have child counselors. And such talks may be given during PTA meetings. I hope this programme can sustain raising awareness of public towards evils which ail our society.
Take care
Yes, Jack uncle I can understand that. I feel squeamish too though belonging to a younger generation. But, I am telling myself that if my child cannot come to me with this issue, who will he go to? So, I have decided to age appropriately address his information. And, such programs help us a lot. I also hope that it helps us feel an openness to not feel ashamed if our child has suffered and to offer our unconditional love and support. There is no place for, “What will people say?” And, I really hope that the legislation comes through.
A wonderful post about what you could do!
Hope more mothers will be able to read this!
Thank you! I hope more of us modify our attitude and be more open in our thinking and conversation.
awesome post Rachna..:)
Tasty Appetite
Thanks Jay!
We Indian parents live an austrich approach..and even if it happens to someone, parents rarely support the child, instead try to brush it under the carpet..
We need to have more programmes like this.
You are absolutely right, Renu. It has been the norm to somehow hide such happenings, pretend that they never happened and tell the child that this is something to be ashamed of, never to be spoken. I like it that we can become more open and support this. Yes, we do need more programs like these.
I loved the workshop at the show. It seemed so simple a way to communicate such an important issue. We parents must make the difference by talking to our kids.
Great post, Rachna. Came here via Indiblogger.
Hi Uma, Welcome to my blog. I agree about the workshop. I loved it too.
The five min workshop Aamir had on his show was worth every penny he gets for the show.
It made communication with kids look so easy….every mom should talk to their kids about it.
Absolutely Alka! I couldn’t agree more with you. I wish this could have been done at a school or a Counselor was called to do a session with the kids and the teachers. I remember once at our school, when I was growing up, there was a session on sex education. It was held separately for the girls and the boys. But, it was so awkward. We were feeling uncomfortable, and not a single question was asked. In that climate, what information could we have culled. And, we had no internet to google. Yes, every parent must speak to their child and encourage their kids to ask questions openly.
Aamir is reallyy wonderful and watching the show is reallyy goodd
Yes, I agree.
thanks for your inspiring feedback in my space Rachna..
am a fan of ginger chutney too…will sure try it out & let you know..:)
have a great day
Tasty Appetite
Thanks Jay. Just ping me when you put up the recipe :).
I have not watched the show but from whatever I have heard and read about it, I understand it’s a step in the right direction. I am glad it let you discuss with your son, subjects that are considered taboo.
Thanks, and try to watch the show. Let me know what you think.
Last year, a few bloggers had started this initiative in the blogosphere… http://csaawarenessmonth.com/… had written a post here and was regularly reading up on this issue and the survivor stories. The more I read about CSA, the more shock and paranoia hit me. It was then I decided to speak to Aaryan about the good touch and bad touch and that he can speak to us anytime on anything without any fear! Hope this program brings the much needed awareness and change in our society!
Yes, Shilpa I am aware of that initiative. But, thanks for sharing the link. I will read up the story too. You know I did discuss with Siddharth when he was in LKG asking him specifically if someone was touching his privates like his bus driver, ayah or teachers. But, unlike the workshop, my information was more cursory, and I did not offer him ways to get out of the situation. I share your hope too.
i wote this on Biks post too.
No amount of framing laws hwill help.
We,as parents have to educate the children on this subject
Absolutely! But I feel laws are needed too. Of course, we need to protect ourselves and educate our children. But offenders must know that they can be persecuted real bad if they err.
Can’t help but appreciate Aamir’s efforts. We aren’t born with parental skills and such programmes really help.
And, these make us realize that we need more such avenues where we learn what and how to communicate to our kids.
Yeah..the program is now the talk of the town. And Aamir’s job is praiseworthy..
I agree.
…I have already seen two episodes and both of them were shocking with details …I am surprised by the percentage and believe keeping our kids safe and talking to them openly about this issue so they know whats coming inn ,even in US its very common ..A sexual abuse in kids and done by teachers most of the time … the laws are very strict every now n then we keep reading teachers behind bars so on and so forth but basic education starts from home and making kids stronger.
I know Harman. It is pretty common in US. You are right; education starts at home.
A delicate subject deftly handled and you did well to make the kids follow the programme.More than all these the kids should be encouraged to confide in parents without fear of reprimand.
Very true! First we need to get over our own mindset of hushing issues and showing by our behavior that this is shameful and what will society think.
thanks for sharing
Thanks for visiting my space, Krishna!
You are absolutely right Rachna. Instead of hushing up these thoughts they have now been brought to our living room. We might wish these monsters away but the truth is perverts are hiding among us in plain sight. As parents it is our fervent duty to help our kids protect themselves. I made my daughter watch the workshop and reinforced it later. Although I have often talked to her about good touch bad touch the workshop did it in a much simpler way.
I agree with you. I had also talked to my son about good touch bad touch, but it was rather cursory. This was done beautifully, and I wish more such resources for parents could be shared.
Well put! Rachna! I also appreciate Amir Khan for raising social awareness !!
I CANT AGREE MORE ON IT..DEAR..even i feel d same that time has came now to discuss such sensitive issues in a very casual way with our children so they can trust us easily & understand what is right & what is wrong..coz whne i was victimised by 1 of my cousin & thn later on neighbourhood boy… i cudnt open up to my parents till date…but same thing shudnt repeat with my kid so when he was 4 i had made him understood where d touch is safe & where is nt! even regularly & casually i tried to making sure while playing with his friends what do they play how ny of them if do ing smthin uncomfortable to him or other..& today he is 14 still i would like to talk to him on d issue so he shudnt get victimised nor he shud do to others else for every mother ” apne bachhe sabko pyaare RAAVAN ho ya RAM!”
& EVEN ON FEMALE FORETICIDE I WAS DISCUSSING WITH MY SON..AS A LIGHTER NOTE..WHEN U WANT BOY-BOY & IF THAT SON WANTS TO GET TRANSGENDER CHANGE ONCE HE GROWS OR GETS IN HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WHAT VL BE THE EMOTIONS OF THOSE PARENTS THT TIME??????
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