When I began blogging back in 2008, it started as a fun thing! I loved to talk and write and give opinions:). This was a perfect platform for me to say what I wanted to say. It did not need to be very smart or interesting, just something that I felt I wanted to write about. I also wanted to write things about my children, which I would forget as they grew older — especially their cute childhood habits. I felt this was a good way in which they could have fun when all grown up to read about their childhood memories. I think, I would have loved to read something similar about me from my mom who has passed away. There are so many memories that one would love revisiting from the point of view of their parents.
Anyway, so I began blogging. It was a dialogue with myself, which I shared with others. The added benefits along the way were the wonderful friends I made on my blog. My blogger friends, most of whom, I have not met — yet, they enrich my life. They care about me, they agree, they disagree, and I look forward to hearing their stories and their opinions.
All good so far. Yet, there is one major peril of blogging — of being misunderstood. And, even worse, of hurting someone. There are a couple of posts, I remember withdrawing because, in hindsight, I felt that they could be causing unintentional hurt to someone. Another thing that I scaled back on is sharing too many personal incidents. The other day, I read on someone’s blog that never, ever write a blog post because you are mad with someone, or because you feel that your veiled language can fool someone that it is aimed at. I totally agree with that view. Preferably, handle one-on-one any grievances. My husband also holds the same view. And, I am glad that many times, he acts as my best critic giving me sometimes blunt advice, of course, in my best interest.
I like rants too :), as long as they are not personal. And, I don’t think, I ever wrote something to intentionally hurt someone. Yet, that is one major peril of blogging. It hurts me when someone gets hurt unintentionally. I wonder what the other bloggers feel about this! Do they care if someone feels hurt in the bargain of expressing their opinions? Or, do they stick to non-controversial topics?
Pic courtesy: Francesco Marino
How true! Recently I wrote some thing on my blog ,which was more or less personal.After few days,my brother called me from India and asked me why I wrote such things.I went back and edited some parts which I thought,might hurt some people. It happens without your knowledge.When you vent out emotions,it just comes. It is always easier to talk to strangers than to your close ones. They might misunderstand or may be,use it against you.Blogger friends are ideal to talk to,because,they don’t know you personally,and do not have untoward interests.
Sometimes,when you are all tense and worried, you need some one to talk to.To talk about every thing.
But I agree with you. After my experience,I have decided not to blog on personal matters.At least,avoid dragging others in to it.
This comment has been removed by the author.
To be on the safe side…I donot use my real name…
Besides if it’s for the good, it’s ok to criticise, even if it causes a little hurt…but the intention matters
@dr. antony Very insightful. Yes, it sometimes help to talk to strangers about real problems. But, as you said, you could expect others to get concerned or ask you why you wrote something specific. Avoid dragging others into it is more like it for me too.
@Jon The intention matters, true! But, the person you have written about would know, wouldn’t they? And, unless you’d want that to happen, it is best to avoid that scenario.
When I first started my web-page I was oblivious to who could possibly be interested in reading it. Luckily, within the first year I had not posted anything too spicy. Around that time I went for a job interview and one of the interviewers said “I read your web-page. I would be happy to have on my team someone not only with the right work experience, but also with a rich social life!”. I learned that I have to be careful – for my own sake, and for the sake of not hurting (intentionally) others.
And if I want to blog on a controversial topic … I write it in a ‘what if’ style…no need to put anyone on the spot, yet, the message is conveyed.
words written or oral are prone to be misunderstood. Had a couple of such experiences after which enabled comment moderation. And yes its always better not to tell much about yourself.
But whys ucha post, did someone feel hurt or is it you blog anniversary??
as far as I am concerned, my posts could not have hurt any one’s feelings as my blog is such a too personal thing.
If I am writing about anyone in real life, the name, background and any other information that could have revealed the original personality will be kept hidden.
In my blogs, even my close friends (some times myself) appear in incognito..so no prblms..
However, I think that, in this post you mentioned an important problem being faced by majority of the fellow bloggers..
@IGBG You are so right! Almost everyone who contacts me for content writing just slips in that they read this or that on my blog. Well, since the blog is a reflection of my writing, I guess it is fine. And, I am cautious to not let something too emotional slip through. Initially, I thought the same thing that who would want to read my innocuous little blog :).
@bbsearchingself It was playing on my mind since a few days. And, like I said, I read a similar post on another blogger’s site and felt that I needed to share the thought with others. No anniversary or any such thing :).
@Tomz Well, that’s nice that you have taken care of this. I guess, we all blog about experiences and wouldn’t want someone mentioned in a bad experience to read it. No matter how incognito it is, the person it is written about would surely know. So, I avoid writing negative stuff about real people, the positive stuff is always welcome :).
I feel the same way.
I don’t post photos of my friends or write about them excessively because I respect their privacy.
I don’t blog about anything to do with work, clients, etc because it’s unprofessional.
In the end, all you can blog about is yourself LOL!!
@Agnes LOL Yes, blog about yourself or your children. After all, who else can you afford to offend ;-)?
Rachna..these surely are the perils…i too have withdrawn many posts with the same thinking and emotion….but when i m convinced at one topic i write without caring of anyone….
most of my topics are about me or neil…or else the questions which i face in my daily life…the qtns related to society, its dogmatic views.etc…
if i get hurt by them…then atleast i can have this blog medium to convey my feelings to my blog mates atleast who also are the part or victim of these norms…
PS – do respect ur feelings of nt offending anyone ….like ur writing…
hmm i never thought u wrote controversial stuff in fact truly enjoi rreading ur posts … and wish i could get such varied topics. we enjoi so no worries dear and happy festivities,
@Rohini Thank you, Rohini. Like you, I also voice my dislike about things, rituals, practices which irk me. I think that since they are generic, it is fine for us to criticize them if required.
@Vani Thank you for your thumbs up. I try to stay clear of controversial topics when I blog. Thanks for the encouragement.
I agree with you. I try to write about something that will not hurt anyone, and much more, that will make people interested in commenting and return later. I feel good knowing that I am, at least, trying to make people laugh with my babbler kind of be.
@David Welcome to my blog and thanks for the comment. I follow a similar philosophy — varied subjects, varied opinions! Besides, why would one want to share deeply personal stuff with the entire world? It’s a little crazy!
I used to write… I used to share my ridiculous personal views… but i never gave a thought in this line…. I feel it is worth discussing
@Sharodindu Thanks!
blogging is funny.. I write what i feel like .. sometime it offends people sometimes it doesnot ..
I beleive that this is my space so I shud be weriting for myself not for others ..
and if people out there are your friends then they will surly understand you, and if they dont then they will ask about it .. so you can give your view…
And yes it hurts me if I hurt anyone, but then I als ofeel if someone feels hurt then they surly care for you, and if they care for you then they should come out and ask rather then remain hurt..
or at least tell me this is wrong thats why we have the comments section
I dont mind saying sorry to anyone if i have hurt but then people who know you will know why you wrote what you wrote..
Bikram’s blog
A blog is after all your own space. You can do as you please. Just like your home. But you wouldn’t drive away someone who came to pay a visit, right? 🙂
Diplomacy can’t be practiced at all times, sometimes it is ok to open your mind.
Oh, very true. Much as we would like to believe that our blog is our own space, and we can say what we please, we are expected to follow the unwritten laws of the blogspace, which includes not ‘knowingly’ offending anyone!
Hopefully, I have offended none as far as I know. I usually choose to speak about myself, my experiences and who else, my children!
ya quite true…mostly i write positive things abt my friends, colleagues r whatever..so far so good..good post rachna..makes us think:)
Perils are anywhere. Let’s have a nice time blogging, bindaaz.
i remember that sometime back, much before my blog, i used to be a politically correct guy thinking more about how people will react. but then i came to this realisation. if you dont talk to anyone for a whole day and just tell hi to all you meet, still at the end of the day fifty percent of them would have misunderstood you.
Hi Rachna, I like this posting. And I fully agree with you.
I blog for fun and take extreme precautions diplomacy and tact is always there as hurting anyone is not in my resume.
And yes, I have come across blogs that I do an immediate U turn, never to return, those that go personal or show hatred, politics, religion….
as well those that involves unparliamentary language.
You stay easy and have a pleasant week. Best regards, Lee.
@bikramjit All valid observations! I guess each one of us has a different approach of looking at things.
@destiny’s child Of course, open your mind. And, this is your open space. But, try not to hurt people in the bargain.
@RGB My thoughts are very similar to yours.
@Ramesh Thanks! And, I so enjoy your blog, the jokes and the small anecdotes.
@Uncle Lee Nice to hear from you. We think similarly. Profanities put me off and so does all the bragging.
Hi, this is my first time visit to your blog.
I also have learnt not to become sensitive about blogs written by people on various issues that seem to be very contradictory or even incorrect. Once or twice I voiced my opinion, but I found it is no use expressing our views and trying to give them the right information, for they have conditioned themselves to believing in what they have written. So I decided from that time not to waste time in such people and their blogs, so read them and move on, no need to post comments. Everybody has the right to say things which they like,it is not our job to keep correcting the wrong information that they may seem to have.
I read a few blogs of yours , sounded interesting.
Have a great weekend.
A blog is your own space! You can share/rant anything you want on it!
If somebody has a problem, they shouldn’t visit the blog!
But posting about communism or religion in a partial way is a big NO!
I know you have not done that, but that’s the only topic one should steer clear off to avoid unwanted hate!
btw, I like your blog very much 🙂
@Girish Thank you for your input and for the compliment. Though, I am a little headstrong and do tend to question beliefs, rituals and superstitions. I hope that does not fall into your realm of talk about religion. Since, my rants are generic, I don’t bother if certain people take offense :).
@Holy Lama True!
@Harish People will misunderstand but what I meant to stay is that steer clear of hurting someone deliberately. thanks for visiting my blog.
@Rama Hi, welcome to my blog. Yes, I feel that way too sometimes.
Tanks for sharing this tips…
Baby Care Tips