Today, I have the pleasure of hosting Shailaja Vishwanath on my blog. I first met her through her blogs. She shares great fiction at The Moving Quill and musings on life and parenting at the Diary of a Doting mom. She is warm, friendly, intelligent and affectionate, and I instantly hit it off with her. She is just the same, even naughtier in person. Yes, we still have to do that full-fledged meetup, Shy. She is methodical, organized, a wonderful writer and a lovely person. Glad to have her here in my space today. Over to Shailaja…
Picture source: www.flickr.com used under Creative Commons License
They say parenting doesn’t come with a manual and that you’re constantly learning on the job. Now, blogging DOES come with manuals-sometimes way too many of them, if you ask me, but what I love about both of them is that you can always learn, are always taken by surprise and come out of it wiser and happier.
It’s a Team Effort:
Make no mistake about this one. Those days when you are sleep-deprived after spending 10 hours rocking a colicky baby to sleep, you are more than grateful when your spouse or significant other takes over the wailing kid, smiles and says ‘You’ve done enough. Go rest now.’ You look at them with something akin to love, but it’s probably sheer gratitude that you can now catch that much-needed nap.
Blogging doesn’t work on a very different principle. After slaving for an hour, crafting that blog post to perfection, checking for typos, adding the hash tags and maybe sharing it on social media, we are overwhelmed with gratitude when people come over, pat you and say, ‘I know how much time you’ve put into this post. Good job.’
Good cop and Bad cop:
Ever noticed how when the kid messes up, one parent plays the disciplinarian and the other soothes and comforts? At home, we typically take turns doing this, because, in our book, children are better off learning from their mistakes at home first. I must admit though, I seem to play the bad cop more often; probably that’s something in my mental make-up.
When you blog, ideally, you should have a couple of close friends who will look over your post and say two things: what you want to hear and what you need to hear. We need the good cop to boost us, motivate us to write more and continue to blog. The bad cop is equally relevant, because it is that critique that will help push us towards becoming a better blogger.
You’ll make mistakes:
Of course!
You are going to use the wrong-sized diaper, that terrible lotion which will cause a rash, those foods which will trigger an allergic reaction and you’ll panic every single time.
Similarly, as a blogger, you will goof up initially by not attributing quotes or pictures, or drop links when you aren’t supposed to, directly tweet to people to read your posts or completely screw up on font size, background colour or template of your blog.
But, the good news? You’ll learn. You’ll come out of those mistakes and build upon them, striving to be a better parent or better blogger. Even better, you’ll understand it’s not the end of the world and these things happen for a reason.
You’ll learn from those who’ve been there:
Advice is rarely taken well, especially when most of us suffer from the ‘I knew that already’ syndrome. Try telling people that there’s an alternative way to doing something and you’ll find them up in arms, defending their stance.
But, on the rare occasions that they are receptive, you will find that people can take suggestions and even apply it to their situations. You will find yourself opening up to learn things from other parents/ bloggers.
A seasoned mom will sympathise and suggest that you don’t need to wrap your baby up every time there is a nip in the air. A veteran dad will smile and show you how to rock the whole teenage phase, when the child seems to defy everything you say.
Likewise, when you want to move your blog to a custom domain or need help with how to add alt tag to your images, you’ll find helpful souls who will go out of their way to walk you through the nitty-gritty of the process.
At the end of it, you’ll notice a growing sense of kinship with these people who share their wisdom with you.
You’ll let go:
This must be the hardest lesson of all, but probably the most valuable.
We have this incredible attachment to our creations, whether they are our kids or our blogs. We feel a certain sense of quiet pride when we see them take shape, morph into something with minds of their own, grow in stature and maturity and finally evolve into forms of expression that can hold their own in reality.
It’s tempting to hold on, take credit for those wonderful outcomes and continue to cling to your idea of what was great about them at first. But, letting go, now there is something that can truly help you grow- as a parent and as a blogger.
We stop worrying about what people will think or say, stats don’t matter anymore and the child/blog is a brand in its own right. All they need from us is a gentle nudge every now and then.
So, those are just five ways parenting is exactly like blogging. It’s hard, it’s exhausting and it’s glorious but they are the two most fulfilling things in my life today.
How about you?
In what other way is blogging like parenting?
Do share your thoughts in the comments here.
That is a very interesting perspective, though I have never looked at it like that …
Good to meet you here on Rachna’s blog 🙂
Thank you very much, Prasad 🙂 I doubt I looked at it that way either until I actually sat down and wrote it all out 😉 Very good to meet you here as well.
That’s a very nice comparison! and yes…true!
Loved that last point…..
We need to stop worrying about the stats and what others keep saying…they are our kids and no matter what! The only thing that matters in the end is that.
We need to let go! All they need from us is a gentle nudge every now and then. 🙂
Yes Bilna 🙂 The more we worry, the less productive we become, either as parents or bloggers. I think once they have taken off from the ground, we should be content to see where they go and how they evolve 🙂 Thanks for reading.
Why haven’t I ever looked at it that way! This is so true! Godmother’s wisdom is infallible!! 🙂
Ok, now you’re just partial 😉 But hey, it’s true, right? 😀 The post I mean, not my being infallible!
Aha! You are spot on! Though never thought of comparing the two, but after reading this post, yes, blogging and parenting are so very similar! Good to see you here, Shailaja 🙂
Thank you Shilpa. Fellow parent and fellow blogger, you know how it is, right? 😉
So So True GodMa. Hadn’t thought about it, but now when I look back, yes I see so many similarities between S and the blog.
Thank you Jaibala, for reading and for seeing the similarities 🙂
Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity, Rachna! I am quite overwhelmed by your introduction of me and I don’t think I really deserve all those words of praise, but I will accept them with gratitude 🙂 For me, blogging has been a wonderful way of networking with incredible writers and fabulous people. This, today, is really an honour, being able to write on your blog which always has such discerning readers.
Thank you once again, my dear 🙂
You’re very welcome, Shailaja. It’s been a pleasure to have you here. Of course, you deserve every word of it. 🙂
Blogging is all that to me too, a wonderful way to meet and discover like-minded, wonderful people. Thank you so much for this post. I could never have imagined this topic. Two of my favorite subjects and how well you interconnected them. Really quite ingenious!
That is a good comparison. Very correct in so many ways.
Thank you, Indrani 🙂 I am glad you agree.
Though I am a parent, never correlated both. But your post made me introspect. Isn’t it true how much we pamper, fuss, cajole and neglect our blog like we do to our kids as well.
We do, don’t we? We worry incessantly about what will happen if we are not around to take care of them and fall into that loop of worry, anxiety, letting go and then coming back full circle. Sigh, it’s tough on some days.
Some really sharp similarities between the two, Shailaja 🙂
Enjoyed reading it.
And thank you Rachna, for hosting one of my favourite writers.
Favourite writers? Did you actually say that? Are you drunk? 😉
Jokes aside, thank you for the comment. Much appreciated 🙂
Glad to have her here, Sid. 🙂 We love our Godmother.
Hi, Shailaja. A good comparison with insightful points. Enjoyed reading. Any creation is just like our baby. It needs proper care, nourishment & time. Thanks Rachna for sharing this interesting post with Shailaja. 🙂
Very true, Ravish. We do need to invest time, care and concern where our creations are concerned. Life does get in the way of doing that on some days and it makes me wonder about the whole balance principle.
Thanks, Ravish, for your warm, encouraging words always. I know you hate the thanks bit but still. 🙂 Good to have Shailaja here too.
Excellent comparison, Shailaja!! The last point, Letting Go, really resonates with me!! I’m letting go of counting how many comments and visits my bog gets and I’m also letting go of my two boys to figure things and make their own mistakes and enjoy life!!
I think that’s the best takeaway from this many years of blogging, right Roshni? Where we graduate to the idea of beyond comments and stats and start understanding why it is that we do what we do. Very important, in my book and looks like it is the same with you as well 🙂
What an idea!
Hope it’s a relevant one, Shrinidhi 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
Ha ha ha – you might have something there Shailaja. Maybe that’s why the two were born almost together for me – the kids and the blog. The mom-to-mom bond is as strong as the blogger-to-blogger bond. And then there’s another similarity – the overwhelming desire to share – I couldn’t stop sharing anecdotes about the twins, just as much as I enjoy sharing my blog posts.
Yep, you said it Tulika 🙂 I mean, there’s a reason we like blogging. It brings us out of our introspective shells and lets us talk at length about the things we love- kids and our thoughts. I know some people are interested enough to listen, right? 🙂
Very true, Shailaja. Parenting is like Blogging! 🙂
Parenting & Blogging both give us a sense of happiness & fulfillment.
Yes, the fulfillment, the frustration, it’s all part and parcel of it 😉
An interesting comparison, Shailaja. I can’t speak about parenting but yes about blogging I would definitely say this much — the sooner we can let go of our over-the-top, egoistic attachments to our blogs or any of our ‘creations’ the happier we will be. Though of course it is much easier said than done! I would imagine it is even harder for parents to let go!
It may be hard, but it’s a learning 🙂 One that I am grateful for. I think that’s true of any journey. We must all walk the path at our given pace and we may find our comfort in some things at first which will give way to the larger picture as we progress. At least, here’s hoping it will. Thanks Beloo.
Haha…great analogy Shailaja…cleverly done. Not a parent but could totally see the relationship. 🙂
Thanks a lot, Sanch 🙂
Wonderful post! I am not a parent but in theory – I get it 🙂 Good to see you here Shailaja! As always wonderful writing 🙂
Thank you so much, Parul. I am glad it resonated with you 🙂
Very true, Shailaja. Blogging and Parenting are similar in many ways. The joy, the frustration, the restlessness, all of them! 🙂
Frustration! Right now, that tops my parenting woes. Ah! Thanks for reading Vinitha 🙂
I am not yet a parent but can totally relate..Very well written post..
LBD
Thanks Ananya. Glad you find it relevant 🙂
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A very interesting comparison Shailja ! Never thought to think like that.. and just like somebody said we fret and fuss over it just like a kid. And it also frustrates us at times 🙂
I can’t believe I am replying this late to this comment!
Yep, they do take a lot out of us- both kids and the blogs. But such a pleasure they turn out to be too 🙂
Fun blog! How about talking in vain – some blogs are my heart outpoured in words yet nobody reads/comments. Just as your kids – talk all you want, they hear you, but still they don’t listen 😉
Good one. 🙂
Oh gosh! That is so true, Iliana. Half the time I am talking to the walls- in my blog’s case, it is the walls of social media. In my kid’s case, they are literal walls 😉