Son: “Mom, is there a God?”
Mom:” What do you think?”
Son: “Grandma says that there is God in that idol in the temple.”
Mom: hmmm
Son: “Then are we drowning God when we put him in the tank?” Grandma also says that God gets angry if I waste food? Is that true? What if I am really full and I don’t want to eat? Will he understand?”
Son: “And, you tell me not to stuff my tummy.”
Mom: “The other day, we saw that program on TV where hungry children were eating out of dustbins. How did you feel about that?”
Son:” It was yuck. How can someone eat out of the dustbin? That is dirty, rotten food.”
Mom: “Because they don’t have food. And when you are very hungry you will eat whatever you get.”
Son: (Seems to be thinking)
Mom: “That is the reason why we must not waste food. Try to remember all those hungry children out there who don’t get to eat food. Take less food so that you can finish what is there on your plate. If, however, you cannot eat everything, leave it and remember to take less the next time.”
Son: “Is there any God? If so, why are so many kids hungry? Why are little children suffering?”
Mom: “I haven’t seen God. I don’t know if there is one. But, suffering children and people are real. Let us try and help them.”
Son: “So, is there a God?”
Mom: “What do you think?”
P.S: This is a real conversation.
Pic courtesy: Freedigitalphotos.net
OMG. These are the things that make me wonder when I think of having a child. How long can curious questions be answered and to some questions there are no answers.
Please share your methods, dear Rachna.
Joy always,
Susan
Children ask you very pointed questions. So death, sex, God are all part of their daily vocabulary. I try that they should think for themselves and seek answers to larger issues like God, religion etc. on their own. I try; I don’t always succeed :). Besides, it is so difficult to stay unbiased, our views do seep in, don’t they. Thank you so much for your comment, Susan.
This is perhaps one of the most challenging areas of parenting – sharing your personal belief system with your child. The conversation you shared offers excellent pointers on how not to influence a child ethical/moral evolution.
Absolutely! This is so challenging. I genuinely want them to discover these things themselves when they are old enough without biases put in their heads from mom and dad especially on this issue when I hardly have any faith in religion.
Subho got the piece so well…now when I re-read it–so true, the conversation allowed the kid to examine and explore himself..wonderful (and must be so difficult)!
Thank you Bhavana! It is very difficult to do. And, I don’t do a very good job at all times :). I ask him to go play with his toys because his questions are incessant at times.
Innocence is such a bliss, Rachna:)
Innocence is and it is tough being a parent.
I think a time comes when you do not have an answer to such pure questions because of the mess humans have created and then you wonder what to tell kids.
It is good to let them form their own opinions.
I wonder what to tell the kids too. But they don’t give up, do they? And they want clear answers not roundabout ones :). I am hoping that they will form their own opinions based on experiences and not biases that I put in their mind.
Tough one to handle!!
Liked the way you helped the child understand the concept of not wasting food!
As parents, we have a challenging role of giving them perspectives and helping them to decide for themselves rather than dumping our own beliefs on them!!
Thank you Shilpa! You said it perfectly.
Wow, deep!
:).
Love that you are encouraging your son to arrive at his own conclusions.
Thank you Purba! I hope they are independent, thinking, generous individuals when they grow up. That can only happen if they are made to understand and absorb what happens around them and form their own views.
The quintessential question innocent and yet so deep the answer to which is not known…very thoughtfully presented!
Thank you Amit! I completely agree with you.
Hmmm.
It is tough making kids understand. If only I had someone who could make my son understand what he wants to know…Sigh
I know how you feel. It is so difficult for us parents to give them answers yet let them discover their own truths.
I’d put it as follows. Would you like to have a god in the temple? If yes, then it doesn’t matter what anyone says whether it’s real or not.
I hear you, Bart! I pretty much wouldn’t mind having no idol or temple in the house. I have no faith left in rituals or even in there being a God. But, I don’t want a young child to be influenced by what I think. I want him to think for himself especially in matters of religion and faith in God.
So simple, mature and logical, Rachna! I too have never imposed my faith or belief on my kids in anything leave aside God or religion. I have only advised them to search and seek for themselves, because our findings might be different. I think this is a healthy outlook for a child’s growth too.
thank you so much Amit! Thank you for sharing your approach. That helps!
Its the innocence and curiosity of kids that such conversations occur.
The mom here answered it well.
Good post. 🙂
Thank you Vinay :).
Well done, Mom! 🙂 The first time I heard of God and the bible I was about 12 year old (I grew up in a communist country). I asked Dad – they both can’t be true, the bible and my science textbook, so, who is not telling the truth? Dad’s answer ‘Go do your homework and don’t ask silly questions.’ 🙂
Yeah, I do a lot of “Go do your homework or watch TV and stop harassing the hell out of me.” :). Sometimes the intentions are there, but the kids they are so demanding. I try but don’t always succeed in being patient and attentive.
The child’s dilemma is touching.
There is God indeed. It is the other name of your conscience.
That’s a great reply. But, will my 5-year-old understand this?
Children ask the most pertinent and uncomfortable questions…The ones about sex can be explained but this one can be best answered as UmaShankar says…When we are still seeking and searching, how can we satisfy the young curious minds…
Very true, Alka! And these ones are more confounding because I am seeking answers myself as you beautifully put it.
I love the questions, Rachna. But I so appreciate your responses too – gentle and leading him to think for himself.
Thank you Corinne. I must tell you that I am not this patient all the time :). There are times when I ask him to go play with his toys.
I miss my kids asking these type of questions…now I have to ask them answers.
Ah, that’s sweet! Never thought of that one.
Rachna,
Curiosity of a child should never be killed. One needs to tread cautiously lest wrong impressions are given. This conversation was well handled.
Take care
Thank you Jack. I agree that curiosity can be killed if we stifle it. Yet, we don’t want to give them readymade answers. It is a tricky balance.
Ah! my kind of questions. 🙂
Interesting conversation, really. (In my opinion those were great answers too. )
Thank you Divya!
some times I don’t know if kids ask knowingly or unknowingly. But the questions are tough to answer at times. There are times when I don’t know the answer and try to avoid by saying, I donno..you are getting late now..go hurry. And that is when I feel real guilty. Am I escaping? Don’t I really have the time to think what they ask? Honestly, though I think I don’t get the answers for them. Glad to read the curious conversation.
Oh, kids ask the toughest questions. And, as parents, we try different tactics at different times — sometimes evasion too :). Don’t feel guilty. It is humanly impossible to answer everything that a child asks.
Rachna..these are very well pointed questions.. and most of the time my older son asks abt them .. specially when he doesn’t want to finish his plate…
but trust me.. every question they ask some are still left unanswered..
… my younger wants to see God in person .. As we follow holy book ,,Guru Granth sahib.. I end up debating,,
these kids are sometimes .. hard to answer..
They can be so confusing and relentless. And to certain questions, there are no easy answers but they want straight answers. I guess all parents are trying their best, but parenting is a hell of a tough job :).
Search for the eternal truth begins early 🙂
absolutely :).
This conversation has loads to offer for adults too. Who is God where is he, these questions are all valid. But lets put in some time to think about those who really exist. Kids are sometimes (or should I say always) bang on. They are direct, no pretence, honest on all things. One could learn a thing or 2 from them.
Jenny, you are so right. Kids are so honest and straightforward. There is no escaping their queries. It is interesting to hear their conversations and the images they conjure in their minds. It is fun and sometimes it can be quite a pain too :).
And ofcourse u are more experienced than me in this department Rachna, I am in this ” why momma, what momma” phase, whever 50 questions come shooting out everyday…Asking questions is how they learn and explore 🙂 and am glad moms today dont just shun away from awkward questions 🙂
Thank you Poonam! We definitely are trying to face the awkward questions better than our own parents. And, my sons are always bombarding me with questions. It can get so exhausting sometimes.
Oh my! That is such a wonderful conversation you had with your son. I loved the way you explained it all so well to him. Its so important, yet so difficult to think of a convincing answer every time your child asks you a question, isnt it?
Thank you so much Deeps and welcome to my blog. It is the toughest to answer the questions of kids. They can’t be fended off easily as well.
A very thoughtful message conveyed in a very interesting way…Nice post!:)
Thank you so much, Tarang!
Good question , is there god, no replies to that .. I think we all have the god and devil inside us .. so if we become good people then GOD will be there more
Bikram’s
And, that is a good reply. I am getting such fabulous inputs via comments on this post.
So he zapped you didn’t he?Someone to watch out for.
He truly did! And he has done so on many occasions.
OMG Kids 😀
But Very Thoughtful
Thank you :).
Indeed an interesting post about a concept that puzzles millions and yet convinces trillions on the way of the universe.. Religious inclinations and humanity will always remain an intriguing connection..
Thank you Arpan! I agree this is a topic of contention.
god is ubiquitous ..just that we are not able to see him .. like atoms are everywhere but we don’t see them !
Interesting, Rahul :).
Mark my words.
This child will be a genius as he grows up.
Incidentally,take him and watch the movie OMG
Chowlaji, such amazing words are honey in a mother’s ears. I am waiting to watch OMG too. And, today we watched English Vinglish together.
Tough answering such questions even from adults.But from small kids who believe everything we say, the answers should encourage them to think.They should not be an imposition of belief but explain the order and design of the world presupposes Supreme Power.The answers with examples/stories would vary depending on the age of the kids no doubt.Very interesting post that made me ponder how I would explain.
Great tips, KP Sir. A good approach for me to consider.
Wonderful conversation! My elder son also has these questions and alternates being a non-believer and a believer. I am resolved that he makes up his own mind!
Thank you Roshni! I am sure you are doing a wonderful job. I especially enjoy the episodes you post about your kids.
That is a difficult one to handle but I am glad that you are letting him have this conversation with you and not just snubbing which I have seen many parents doing.
Thank you Jas! I quite love these conversations that we share, but there are times when I have to tell them to go away or play with their toys. It could be due to lack of time or because they are questions that I don’t want to address.
What an innocent yet thought provoking conversation 🙂
It is true, children have a lot of thought power in them. They have huge reserves of creativity and intellect in them, the education system usually ruins most of it.
Yes, I don’t find it hard to believe that this is a real conversation. It is very much possible, children should be allowed to think freely rather than being scolded for doing so.
Lovely post Rachna 🙂
Regards
Jay
http://road-to-sanitarium.blogspot.in/
You are right, Jay. Kids are such bundles of energy and inquisitiveness. It is sometimes difficult to keep pace with them. I especially love the conversations that I have with them — sometimes informative, sometimes funny and many times frustrating too :).
Its not only children, but everyone needs to be sensitive to not wasting food.
A very nice and gentle way to inculcate these thoughts into children.
http://www.anucreations.blogspot.in
http://www.facebook.com/VolatileSpirits
Thank you Anu!
sometimes kids ask ques for which there are no answers ! i believe there is a God withing each of us … lets do our bit to help these kids …
Thanks for your comment, TTT! I don’t think kids need helping. They are looking for answers and I am trying to nudge them towards finding their own. These questions have no straight forward answers I believe.
One think as a parent should note is that they shouldnt discourage the curiosity, answer them even if the question is of no importance. Children have the right to think ans ask questions.
Nice post 🙂
Do check my blog. Take care 🙂
I agree, Arjun! Sometimes parents also get tired and that results in evasive tactics. Sure, I will hop across to your blog. Thank you for your visit and your comment.
It is imperative that we try not to influence children’s thoughts. Asking questions to let them think for themselves is the best way to do things, unless of course it confuses them makes them brood over the replies. We do have to take a call on the specific question and decide on the mode of reply. You are an intelligent parent. But I have already told you that, haven’t I? 🙂
You are absolutely right, Zephyr! We have to help them think on their own, but we have to nudge them at times when they are really confused. Each question is different and has to be tackled differently like you pointed out. Thank you for your encouragement :). I know I have many flaws as a parent. Sometimes it is lack of time or lack of patience, but I do try my best to give them enough time.
It is tough to answer such difficult questions. Especially when you want to be neutral so that he forms his own opinions.
So rightly said!
What a great conversation. I used to ask my mom the same question.
I must have asked my mom the same question :).
What a great conversation. I used to ask my mom the same question.
Thanks Agnes!
That’s such a beautiful post. Some really good questions raised by the son and equally insightful responses by the mother. 🙂
Thank you so much, Destiny’s child.
What i feel is that, kid wanted to know that is there a God ??and mother beautifully replying or asking that kid,” what do you think”.God is there he is taking everytime our exam…
If we fall from height then God will either catch us or teach us to fly.
Thank you so much, Lifestyle.
These questions are so valid, perhaps the very core of our existence and I love that children ask. Sometimes we adults try to distract ourselves from these things, we want truth but we don’t want truth and I think children have a way of helping us explore our own thoughts with their questions, don’t they? 🙂
It is important that children know, learn and understand the Ramayana. They should know their history, the reason behind their family values and many other benefits. This article from Humpty Bumpty Kids tells us how exactly teaching Ramayana to the kids help them.
Very eloquently put, Rachna. I like the way you encouraged him to think without giving him a direct answer. Some days are easy, some questions are not. I think the idea we are going for is balance, at any given point of time. The more we help them think, the better it is for us all. Thank you for sharing this with me. I understand what you meant by saying our wavelengths match 🙂
I agree with you, Shailaja. Some days are easy; some questions are not. Our endeavour is to make them think and form their own opinions. Yes, we are on a similar wavelength. 🙂