This post has been published in DNA newspaper dated 30th April:Please, fall in line
I can’t remember how many times, I have used this line in supermarkets, outside trial rooms, in stores and in countless other places. This is not an exaggeration, but in general we Indians seem to be “queue-blind,” or is it IQ blind. The other day, I was at the mall on a Saturday. It was really packed with people. I was waiting outside the trial room with a couple of stuff in my hand to be tried. There was a support staff who was also there. As soon as the door of the trial room opens, a teenager tries to barge in. She had to be blind to find me transparent. I had to raise my voice and say, “excuse me, there is a queue, and I am ahead of you.” The support person was giving her angry looks too. Without batting an eyelid, the teen says that she did not see. I said, “You do now” and went in.
Many times, we find people trying to break the queue when they just walk to the head of the line simply because they just have a couple of items for checkout. The polite thing would be to ask permission from the person whose spot you are trying to take, and they might just allow. But, if someone just barges in rudely, I make sure that they will not get to break the queue. At an ATM too, the experience is bad. It is extremely rude to try and enter when another person is using the ATM, but there are people who have to be told that — step out, and await your turn. Then, if you go to places like a xerox shop, kirana store, and other single-window outlets, you will find people clamoring from all corners and occupying every inch of space. A newcomer does not know from where to approach. There is no queue here. Might works here, and your ability to catch the eye of the hassled shopkeeper! Queue — what is that animal? People just step on each others’ toes and show that they are blind. Hey, and the same scenario prevailed even at the PSK’s (Passport Seva Kendra) xerox counter. Educated and uneducated — we are pretty uniform in our ill manners.
Unless there is a person specifically directing you to form a queue, we always tend to push our way through. Well, so much for our exalted culture and manners that we tom-tom at every given opportunity. In my experience, we are an extremely uncouth species of people trying to push our way through everywhere. No, the rules are known alright, but the following will be done on a situation basis. I feel the only way to teach such people a lesson is to not keep quiet and raise your voice when someone infringes on your rights. I remember once waiting at the airport in Mumbai, I walked up to this shameless chap smoking inside the Terminal in a non-smoking area. I had to ask him to stop smoking twice. He gave me a look of extreme loathing that I tried hard to match. But, he finally walked away from there after putting out his cigarette.
Even at the temple, have you seen how people try to press against each other. What kind of craziness is this? Even though, there is a queue, it is excruciating to be sandwiched between people.
By the way, just in today’s newspaper, it was written that Bangalore has the distinction of India’s worst motorist behavior. No doubt about that! I have been experiencing it every single day on the road. We have the most cruel drivers towards pedestrians, women, kids, and people with disabilities. I have personally seen that many drivers will menacingly honk, speed or flash their lights angrily if someone dares to try and cross the road. Everyone except the pedestrian has the right of way. The bigger the vehicle, the bigger the dadagiri is. Try merging on to the road in heavy traffic. No one will let you.
How and when will we learn to be civilized human beings?
PS: Many people have commented that this must be taught at home and in school. That most certainly is true. Kids will learn good manners at home first. But, what happens if they start flouting rules despite knowing that they must follow them? Most of these same folks live docilely in foreign lands following each rule and are polite to the hilt. So, what happens when they are in India? They forget their manners, or they don’t know how to behave? Neither. They ignore everything and behave shoddily! Most important reason is that they know that they can get away with it either through muscle or plain apathy. That is the saddest part.
This type of civic sense has to be inculcated in the childhood, later on its only Danda which teaches anything to us:)
Here in chennai, I always see myself being pushed to the end or kept waiting because I dont speak Tamil:(
Yes, at home is one answer. Oh and what you say about Chennai is very sad!
Exactly!! I get so bugged up. Patience.. does any one have that any more?
why can’t anyone understand that it is faster when we are queued up?
exactly! If we manage things in an order, they will work out faster for everyone. But, who are we telling?
Ill mannered and impatient people are in abundance in a country of billion plus!These things and politeness are never taught hence the deficiency quotient!
Yes, Rahul but the same people follow rules beautifully when abroad. Is it lack of manners or a deliberate flouting of them?
I would actually put it as 2 reasons.
Reason 1: Most cities I have seen (I talk only about the US) are nowhere close in population to what we have back home. Look at a city like Minneapolis or something in Wisconsin. Few people. Lots of space. Result: Calmer patient tolerant people. They dont honk. But look at New York. Honking like crazy. Yelling. Impatient hurried folks. When the number of people increase, waiting time increases, people will get impatient. Not an excuse, but it is a fact right?
Reason 2: I completely agree with apathy. I have seen people sincerely throw trash in the US in trash cans, not even attempting to litter, yet the same people when they come to India simply chuck the used tissues or kulfi covers on the road. When asked why they cant trash it, the response comes: US has a lot of trash cans everywhere, we dont. My counter argument: Even in the US, trash cans arent at every 5 feet. They are more than India yes, but spaced. We do carry the trash until there and then dispose of it. Why can’t one do the same in India? And sometimes even worse. A guy next to me at the bustop, simply dropped an empty packet of Lays where he was standing even though there was a trash can about 8 feet away. I feel so disgusted.
I agree Deepa. Point 1 explains perfectly. People get short on patience when there is a sea of humanity everywhere. It is a nightmare to drive on the roads of Bangalore or shop or venture out during the weekend.
I agree with reason 2 also. I have also seen this behavior in people. I mean, I will carry the trash in my hand or car and ask my kids to do the same till I can find a trash bin or bring it home. It is just rationalizing on the part of the offender. I wonder if they would like it if we were to visit their house and litter it. We take no pride in our country or our surroundings. Just keep one’s house clean and turn a blind eye to all sins we commit outside it. It is disgusting.
The worst is certain row houses or town homes. People bring their trash cans from inside to simply dump it on the other side of the wall. I don’t get it. Doesn’t the stench bother them? !!!!
they turn a blind eye, I guess!
There is another kind of jumping the queue.Whenever I stand in line for registering a letter or buy stamps, somneone comes with half a dozen letters and gives it to a person in the line close to the counter who does not refuse.Either they are known to each other or simple timidity to refuse.
As Renu said civic sense should be inculcated at home and school.
Yes, not jumping the queue along with not littering and following traffic rules all needs to be taught.
That’s basic civic and common sense, but it’s missing most of the times! And it’s damn irritating!
It is damn bugging for sure.
so true , I guess i was like that .. but coming here i have changed , we stand patiently in a que for our turn and someone when its all proper things get done on time .. but with all the pushing and all whatever work we have come for takes a longer time.
the problem is we go to schools and colelge to learn yes we do learn BOOK knowledge but as mention to be CIVIL where do we learn that from ..
I remember going to cinema halls in big numbers so we could just barge in and get the tickets … I dont feel proud of it now.. but at that time , that was how things worked and if i was living in india I would probably be doing the same thing now too..
One thing I hate more is , all indians (well majority) who work exactly according to the rules in foreign places .. the moment they land on india soil and come out of the plane .. behave exactly opposite .. maybe it is in the AIR..
Bikram’s
Exactly, every rule followed when abroad and even basic courtesies thrown to the wind when in India! No wonder we are giving such a bad name to ourselves.
Sorry Rachna I had to smile – we Brits think we are the masters at queueing – everywhere you go orderly queues are formed, even getting onto the esculator in the rush hour, we all know our correct place, if you are in a hurry get into the walking lane not the standing still one – woe betide the stranger who doesn’t know the rules!
And Jane, not only Brits but people in the US and even Europe are polite and cultured and know how to do things in an orderly manner. I am sorry to say that we in India are light years away. But, I do agree that a person who does not follow the rules must be humiliated and made to follow them.
Rachna,
I could not agree with you more. One has to demand own space. At traffic lights encroaching on Zebra crossing is an absolute normal way for motorists. Why should they worry about pedestrian crossing when traffic light is Red? I always point this out to the culprits when I am crossing the road. Even parking on footpaths has become so common these days. Hope some sense prevails in future. We need to inculcate these basic manners right from childhood in school days.
Take care
Yes, parking on footpaths, footpath encroachments, bike riders using the footpath are all menaces for common pedestrians. I think the people flouting the rules know that they are not meant to do this. They just don’t care because they are in a rush.
This topic is the permanent thorn in decent people’s flesh. Anywhere in India, I have seen , people wanting to break Q at any cost. One has to raise a voice, become unpleasant , people accept their fate and form the Q. We have umpteen arguments , ( hubby and I ), he gets embarrassed when I request people to stand in Q.
Manners is strictly for the family circles and not for public display. This is our national rudeness.
And please,in Hyderabad,the road rage and traffic is worse.If one is not in AC car, you are on to honking and cursing and spitting experiences. You have to come home with a massive headache.
I agree — national rudeness or uncouthness. We are mannerless, and we are proud of it, seems to be the motto! Hyderabad is pretty horrible as well.
It’s the same here, and being a short tiny person that I am… I get stepped on all the time and pushed over.
Really Emmy. Long time! You have been away.
You said it. We disobey rules and do manmaani only in India because here everything goes and we are conditioned to accept might as right. I had written about this at http://cybernag.in/2010/11/no-rules-please-we-are-indians/
Check it out.
Great post that you shared. I was surprised to read about the paan-spitting in UK. In my experience, I’ve seen Indians behaving like cows in foreign lands even resisting the temptation to pee or spit :).
That is it, zephyr, you hit the mark. We are “conditioned”.
It is time we stop accepting this behaviour and start questioning, and encourage people who do.
Yes, it is time we stop accepting this behavior as normal or cribbing behind the back. Let us do something to stop those who are intentionally breaking rules and don’t seem to have the most basic civic sense.
I had once a life-threatening row in a railways reservation queue circa 1990. I don’t want to bore you with the details but suffice it to say, I am living to write this comment at your blog!
I do agree with the thought that this is something that should be inculcated early in the children. Often times I notice kids being rude and acting intolerably while the parents feign ignorance or worse, are actually oblivious of it all. Then there are those who lovingly watch their prodigy indulge in violence and effrontery.
I think, we all have to back off when confronted with goons and threat to life. But, otherwise if we stand our ground, hopefully the habitual offenders will learn.
I agree that kids must be taught the good values at home and in school, but my gripe is that when kids, teens and later adults choose to do the wrong thing. Perhaps, it is only the danda that makes them obey simple rules. Parents are a huge problem today adding to the menace. You are right, many just turn a blind eye or might not even notice. Some are worse, bragging about their kids’ misdemeanors. The other day, my son brought home a toy from his play school. His brother and I explained to him at length why this is stealing and is bad. He went back and returned the toy. I think as parents we have to keep our eyes open to our kids’ behavior.
Wonderful piece of parenting there Rachna!.
While I was reading Umashankar’s comment, and your reply, I recalled , a bad child about 5 years of age in @ AC.
She was wildly indulged by her mother , a MNC executive, and grand parents. I just kept my cool and was reading and then had my dinner quietly. She kept on pestering me, touching my book, and screaming her lungs, to pamper her.
When I did not oblige she simply pulled the book away from with some silly bad comments.
I was appalled and also appalled that the mother was faking concern, I had give a dirty look, and kept quiet.
The family needed a lot of learning to do. I find it normal in Indian families travelling together with kids. They expect entire compartment to indulge!
Thank you Vetrimagal! Well, that was a horrendous experience for you. What can one say? Some people need to understand the basics of parenting.
Even I recollect an incident like that. An acquaintance had been to India with his 5 year old kid. There the kid started picking up Indian habits and starting learning the roadside slang language that the other kids spoke. Once while playing apparently, he yelled at another kid saying You’re crazy to which the other kid promptly responded with the same. This kid, not to be outdone, replied Your Dad’s crazy (Tera baap paagal hain were his exact words). And this acquaintance of mine hasnt stopped boasting about it ever since on how his son gave the others a fitting reply. Seriously???? That’s something you want to be proud of?
I agree with you Deepa. My younger son also says pretty abrasive things sometimes. I think he has picked them up from other kids. I feel so ashamed to hear it, and I try to keep reasoning with him that it is not good to use such words. Since he is just 5, he does not understand the meaning of those words. But to think that a parent actually felt proud is ridiculous.
This reminds of an incident that happened 2 days ago. I had to refuel my two wheeler and there I stand in the queue with 2 vehicles ahead of me. A motorist from nowhere plunges in between from the otherside. When I raised my voice to let him know about the queue that was existing , instead of seeking a sorry inturn he argued saying the space he was standing isn’t my piece of land… %^&*!* I controlled my anger and let him go by his own rules as he kinda looked like one of these local rowdies.
Oh yes and yesterday I was waiting to refuel my car when this Maruti behind me just squeezed in ahead of me and got into the slot of the car that the one ahead was vacating. All I could do was fume. The guy, looking like a goon, comes out and even gives me a smirk. Jerk! Good of you to stand your ground and to back off when needed. Since, we drive alone, we don’t want to get into road-rage incidents with the goonda types.
This reminds of an incident that happened 2 days ago. I had to refuel my two wheeler and there I stand in the queue with 2 vehicles ahead of me. A motorist from nowhere plunges in between from the otherside. When I raised my voice to let him know about the queue that was existing , instead of seeking a sorry inturn he argued saying the space he was standing isn’t my piece of land… %^&*!* I controlled my anger and let him go by his own rules as he kinda looked like one of these local rowdies.
This reminds of an incident that happened 2 days ago. I had to refuel my two wheeler and there I stand in the queue with 2 vehicles ahead of me. A motorist from nowhere plunges in between from the otherside. When I raised my voice to let him know about the queue that was existing , instead of seeking a sorry inturn he argued saying the space he was standing isn’t my piece of land… %^&*!* I controlled my anger and let him go by his own rules as he kinda looked like one of these local rowdies.
This reminds of an incident that happened 2 days ago. I had to refuel my two wheeler and there I stand in the queue with 2 vehicles ahead of me. A motorist from nowhere plunges in between from the otherside. When I raised my voice to let him know about the queue that was existing , instead of seeking a sorry inturn he argued saying the space he was standing isn’t my piece of land… %^&*!* I controlled my anger and let him go by his own rules as he kinda looked like one of these local rowdies.
This reminds of an incident that happened 2 days ago. I had to refuel my two wheeler and there I stand in the queue with 2 vehicles ahead of me. A motorist from nowhere plunges in between from the otherside. When I raised my voice to let him know about the queue that was existing , instead of seeking a sorry inturn he argued saying the space he was standing isn’t my piece of land… %^&*!* I controlled my anger and let him go by his own rules as he kinda looked like one of these local rowdies.
This reminds of an incident that happened 2 days ago. I had to refuel my two wheeler and there I stand in the queue with 2 vehicles ahead of me. A motorist from nowhere plunges in between from the otherside. When I raised my voice to let him know about the queue that was existing , instead of seeking a sorry inturn he argued saying the space he was standing isn’t my piece of land… %^&*!* I controlled my anger and let him go by his own rules as he kinda looked like one of these local rowdies.
This reminds of an incident that happened 2 days ago. I had to refuel my two wheeler and there I stand in the queue with 2 vehicles ahead of me. A motorist from nowhere plunges in between from the otherside. When I raised my voice to let him know about the queue that was existing , instead of seeking a sorry inturn he argued saying the space he was standing isn’t my piece of land… %^&*!* I controlled my anger and let him go by his own rules as he kinda looked like one of these local rowdies.
This reminds of an incident that happened 2 days ago. I had to refuel my two wheeler and there I stand in the queue with 2 vehicles ahead of me. A motorist from nowhere plunges in between from the otherside. When I raised my voice to let him know about the queue that was existing , instead of seeking a sorry inturn he argued saying the space he was standing isn’t my piece of land… %^&*!* I controlled my anger and let him go by his own rules as he kinda looked like one of these local rowdies.
That reminds me of the que-less crowd on the firework shops during Diwali! There’s no que, and the shopkeeper will not even know that you are there unless you have the ability to attract his attention! Same goes with Darshans – particularly in tirupati i faced this. People just try to push, barge in, stamp your legs, press against you – that sometimes it makes you feel awful and you forget the reason you came to the temple! It’s happening more frequently amongst the well educated group of people! So disgusting at times!
Yes, Vaish. The experience is real bad, as you mentioned for darshans or for purchase of anything from a single-window outlet. People just push and shove like crazy.
hi rachna 🙂
..I agree wid you.. people loose their balance I guess when in different crowd ..but why?
… manners n courtesy should be part of family values imbibed since childhood …how can we forget..
here is US its always a cue system and nobody dares to break a line ..so courteous and polite even our indians ..:) they will ask “you are ahead of me “if there is any confusion…but same people back home are like stray dogs ..they dont care..why??
I asked someone they said”India mein saab chalta hai”otherwise with so much manners they make fun and say “sala aangrez” ;p
Yeah, with this sab chalta hai attitude, we are doing the maximum disservice to our own country. What can one say about such mentality and such people?
As always very enlightening!!
But i confess I myself have barged in on ATM especially Delhi Rly station, simply because the dodo in the TAM simply do not know how to work through various menu.
Also people in queue should understand why they are in the queue in the first place and get their things prepared beforehand. I have experienced people, (ladies specially) no offense, going through their big bags searching for cards and stuff when their turns come. Why don’t they get their acts together before wasting awefull lot of time of other standing behind.
Thanks for the insight though, Keep up the good work
Sometimes, we come across idiots, but patience is what we have to exercise. Easier said than done, but shouldn’t you ask if you see someone struggling if they need help instead of barging in. Also, it is ideal that people have things ready but if they don’t, we can’t try to jump the line. The point is that we have to respect the fact that they are ahead of us in the line and wait. We can surely egg them on or ask for help. Why they don’t get their act together? They could be sloppy :).
Thanks for the encouraging words.
Educated and uneducated — we are pretty uniform in our ill manners… so true .Just the other day a very hep woman walking ahead of me in a lady’s store slammed the glass door right on my face and left the place without even looking back or saying sorry.
How horrible. People can be so rude.
yeah the Q thing is a total nightmare at times
and trial rooms toh …god! i just become speechless when someone just barges in like that…hmmpf i should respond sternly more often..i do sometimes bu mostly i just am left feeling sick
Yep, give it back :).
These are the things we must put up with. It doesnt matter if people look cheap or sophisticated, learned or not. You know once a bunch of women walked out of a waterfall, and they saw me with a towel of my shoulder and just started wiping their camera with it! I mean how gross can that get?
Yeah, that is gross! But, why did you say that we have to put up with it? At least, we can show our displeasure to such people
Speaking of Excuse me – I had recently gone to India after 2.5 years in the US and was being polite in the bus when my stop was approaching and I had to get down. I kept saying “Excuse Me” but no one would let me pass. Finally a lady tapped me on the shoulder and goes “Idhar Excuse Me bolne se kaam nahi chalega, o Bhaisaab baaju hato – O Madam dikhta nahi hain kya utarna hain bolo” (Translated to – O Sir Move aside – O Ma’am dont you see I want to get down). Its like we’re being taught to be rude! Its either be rude or miss your stop!
Idhar Excuse Me bolne se kaam nahi chalega – Translated to “Excuse Me wont work here!”
Excuse me works for me mostly in shopping malls, restaurants etc. but on the streets one has to raise their voice and say baju hato or sidu (as they add u to everything in the South) or hogu hogu for move in Kannada. Yes, we are taught to be rude here or else people turn deaf and blind. Local language to use karna hi padta hai, but your point about not being polite is true too. No one responds if you say kripiya rasta dijiye. You have to use the rude hato raste se.
I do wish to gift you this, based on everything I have read so far – rest assured your blog’s going to be on my blog library for a long long time! I do not know of a way to send you this, hence hopefully the link would work! Keep it going! Happy Blogging!
Link: http://tinkerbelleandme.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/genuine-blogger-award.png
Thanks a bunch, Deepa! I will display it proudly soon :). Thanks again for the warm appreciation.
This is my pet peeve…people have no patience in public places and some are both queue blind and IQ blind.
Quite a pain, ain’t it!
Hi Rachna,
Please also view http://deepa-duraisamy.blogspot.com/2012/04/and-winner-is.html for the award. Hope you like it!
Thanks,
Deepa.
Thanks a ton, Deepa for the honour :).
You are so right, Rachana. There seems to be a kind of blatant, arrogant disregards for waiting one’s turn. Do you think graciousness and a sense of the right thing to do takes a back seat where too many people and too few resources are involved?
Perhaps, what you say is true, but when under stress you true character comes through. Looks like most of us are goons behind the civilized facade.
I’ve just come back from Bangalore and was aghast to see the scant regard motorists have for pedestrians. Instead of slowing down, they actually speed up and try to run you over!!
And the auto drivers are no better – demanding 100 bucks for a 5 km ride.
Really, you were in Bangalore! Oh yes, motorists are totally crazy. They will mow down those who dare cross the road in front of their speeding vehicles flashing lights. Auto drivers are bad all over. I think, the Delhi ones are seriously horrible who will take you all around town after ascertaining that you are not local.
I don’t see any chance of improvement in our country, because of this race to nowhere, why this hurry , this tension, this bad mouthing, this cutting lanes , ques, and less said about the auto fellows the better. This is the present state of one of the most beautiful, wonderful country in the world, and we are all to be blamed to a large extent, for we consciously or unconsciously support such ‘ chalta hai’ attitude, there is no strong peoples’ power in our country. We could be be leaders in many things, we could be a rich country, yet, we are lagging behind, with the same chalta hai attitude. I hate to say the I am not proud of our country.
Me too, Rama. I realize that slowly I am becoming cynical. Just yesterday, I had to tick off a young man trying to sneak ahead of me in the McD line when I had patiently waited 10 minutes to reach the head of the line. Seriously, do they like being insulted, or do they count upon the other person not reacting. I agree with you — we will always stay this crazy, messy, indisciplined bunch of people.
Hyderabad and Bangalore traffic is almost same. people drive from all eight directions ( No vehicles coming from top and bottom that is ). Things were always pathetic. People might saying, whining or talking about doesn’t make a difference but to do something to change the society. I would say-even that wont work. Because people don’t want to. Sad but true!
Yes, Hyderabad traffic is pretty bad too. Yeah, top and bottom are spared so far :). Roads are anyway in such bad shape. But, I feel that in our small way we can make a difference. Many times, people need someone to guide. Once I remember requesting people to stand in a queue and everyone did. It was much smoother after that. We can at least try!
So true! Every now and then I face this with utter bitterness. These ill manners are irrespective of ones education or knowledge. I have seen how educated and respected parents push and break a line to submit forms for their wards admission in schools and even colleges.
Love your posts Rachna, so apt.
Thank you Ruprekha! Oh yes, that too queues for admission forms are so bad. Thanks for pointing that out.
I agree with you completely. There’s something with the culture, ‘chalta hai’-attitude here..yes discipline has to be taught and exercised and the absence of which should be punishable..things have to start right from one’s home. this is a very common habit of people cleaning their homes twice thrice a day but throwing away the litter right outside their doors..
absolutely Sakshi! How idiotic is that habit? This is called choti sonch.
I’ve been talking on these lines to many people that I meet…I kind of get started on this subject like to never stop! It gets on my nerves 🙁 People not following rules or breaking them is a kind of illness!
I do the same things-I just don’t let anyone barge in the queue..and I make sure I voice my opinion about them,then and there,ha!
well the same Indians following every tiny rule in phoren land is because may be they are heavily fined there and the culture of sense of responsibility towards the country enters their souls-but funnily leaves it the moment they step into our mera bharat mahan? me thinks!
oh and while on this subject how can we not bring in driving in lanes? right? sigh sigh and a big sigh!
Good for you, scribby. I think we are long lost sisters :). About, driving in lanes, I’ve done many cranky posts on my experiences with driving, drivers and their loony habits. But, good idea!
I have read this post earlier and loved it. Infact, few days back we were all waiting for the school bus to arrive and I was telling the parents that we should form a line and that ways children will learn the queue system. The all said yes and as soon as the bus arrived, they were all again pushing their children in a huddle.
And, that is exactly what happens :).