Do you remember, how we could play with our cousins, neighbors kids and friends in relative peace during our childhood days. We had no gadgets — PSs, Nintendos, fancy computer games etc. and yet could have a great time playing loads of outdoor games. When we fought, I do not remember my parents ever butting in and resolving our conflicts for us. These days, whenever kids come together — cousins or otherwise, it is total chaos. Despite having so many fancy toys and games to play, the spirit to compete and win is so overpowering that there is constant conflict.
It becomes a headache for parents, and we end up doing firefighting all the time. My sister and I have to keep stopping our kids from going at each other’s throats. Luckily, both of us share a great understanding, else these kids might end up dragging parents into their conflicts. I have seen some parents of children who go to another parent’s doorstep to fight for their child based solely on their child’s version.
Is there something in our behavior which is causing this? What is the best way to make family get-togethers with kids more enjoyable?
PS I have been very busy of late. I have a lot of reading to catch up on my friends’ blogs 🙂
Actually the main problem is that all of them are equally pamperd and spoiled brats (I am talking about these days) and do not know how these kids are full of ego these ddays that they do not want to share their toys, heir game etc.
I still remember when we are younger we use to go to my Granny;s place in summer where i meet my cousins and all but we never fought for any thinh be it cheating in Ludo or playing Aais-paais.
But present day kids!!!!!!
OMG!!!!!!
🙂
I COMPLETELY agree. Todays kids are selfish brats. Mebbe its our fault too because we pamper them so much. I think becoz we didnt have much toys thats why there were less fights. We would be out in the open running about and creating games. But where are mepty spaces now to run about?
Hey this was something I have been thinking about sometime…I see no kids playing out..
A colleague of mine said…When he gets to home he plays some DVD for the kids. They sit down and watch…no trouble for anyone..
May be thats why we hear lots of incidents abt kids murdering each other for some simple reasons
Sorry Rachna…No solutions
Good point. I am so glad I didn’t grow up on video games…
I would explain this in short!
What is causing this problem is the breaking away of the joint family system of living. Cousins are no longer as much attached as they were in olden days when family ties were important and joint families were a reality.
i can only sympathize with you here…nothing more…
and it is not bad being competitive and stuff! 😀
leave them to solve their problems…
You know the answer then why asking others….Go back and find out one thing that can change many things today!!!!
Smiles 🙂
Prashant
very true rachna. but i think its best for grownups not to interfere in their petty squabbles unless it really gets serious.
You are absolutely right about the upcoming generation. I think parents have to understand any sort of such situations with patience. I think it would be better to leave the children in their own drive.
Very true Rachna..even I am facing the same problem as my brother kids are here and they fight like dogs and cats despite a wide difference in their ages….none of them have sharing habit and even if one of them shows that then he/she has to lose all. Thankfully we don’t get into their fights and enjoys that along 🙂
Its so true…..kids today are very selfish..dbnt share things…are very much interested in the bth objects which they own and their frinds own… hardly we find kids playing outside…and are more keen on knwing the gadgets..Pc games….we parents most of the time leave these kids on their own..but many times it created metal tension on the other end…i hope this turmoil state passes soon..i m living with this daily…:-(…i irritates me…
Nowadyas the kids fight among them for remote or play stations, they really miss a lot of our days fun!!
take away the toys.
when they don’t have resources to fight over, they get along better..
this works for me:)
@Bhupesh I remember that with my cousins, there were equal number of quarrels, but they got resolved by us amongst ourselves. I guess, meeting once in a while is also a reason for less patience with each other.
@bhagya Yes, there are less spaces and physical activities these day. And, very little sharing and tolerance.
@Jon I would prefer some physical activities as well. But, it was so damn hot so all plans of going out were shot down.
@Agnes Yes, me too.
@BK chowla What you say is very true!
@Ryn Of course, it is good to be competitive in other spheres. But, it is also good to give in sometimes to younger siblings or to accommodate the visiting guest’s preferences.
@Readers Dias I normally do, but one has to interfere when things get bad.
@Pacifier Returns Thanks for visiting my blog. But, I wish I knew the answer. I even wonder if there are any right answers when it comes to parenting or children’s issues.
@nitu Totally agree.
@Anulal I guess it is both us parents and the kids who are to blame.
@manika we tried to stay away from their fights too. But, you can imagine how many they had in 24 hours :).
@rohini I guess all us moms can identify with this situation. And, it does not get better as the kids get older.
@Suffix Yes, true!
@wise donkey Yes, that is what we did. Take away the privileges to show that the behavior was unacceptable.
On another note, how much fun it would be if the vacation could be enjoyed without the constant bickering of kids.
Hi Rachna, I guess kids are the same everywhere….they’ll either make a mess or get into fights or break something.
My wife and I get very nervous when friends drop by with very young kids.
But what I dislike most are kids who want to play games on my Apple Imac when they come.
And they not familiar with Apple.
Anyway, I have informed the parents, I have lots of pics that would not be suitable for their kids….
as well will purposely put up a nude lady screensaver when knowing kids coming, ha ha.
You should hear a 7 year old telling her mom, “mummy…got naked woman on the computer”.
The mom sure grab her kid away fast like an abduction, ha ha.
You have a nice day, Lee.
Good one, Uncle Lee 🙂
Hi Rachna, Just visited your blog today…and this topic is very important to me. Parents now-a-days are too confused and lazy and we end up blaming the kids. Instead of engaging with their kids in activities(any) they find it easier to let the kids play computer games thinking the kid is learning something useful and they will stop bothering them..makes the kid stop thinking, socially lazy. They dont find any need to interact with other kids. Another problem is parents are confused how much independence to give their kids. To the point that..one thinks who is the boss. Kids are kids and its important for the parents to let the kid know that you are the boss, but at the same time make sure the kid is independent in their activities. I’ve been meeting so many parents and sometimes it becomes difficult as a parent of 4 friendly kids to see that ur kid gives in to every whims and fancy of their friends because the other kids are not used to sharing or has so much attitude. My kids get so excited when I play tag or some games with them outside. they feel so proud that their parents are playing with them. I hardly see such time that other parents spend with their kids.
@gayatri
Didi, You have a valid point about parents participating in the children’s activities and games. Obviously doing computer games all the time is not the right approach. But, we are forgetting that kids also need to have fun when they have vacations. They cannot be involved in constructive activities all the time. Sometimes, the trouble is that boys tend to be more physical in nature and in their games. So, there could be a mismatch in the activities they want to do with other girls. Also, since each one is comfortable and used to living in their domain i.e. their house, they have a way of doing things they are used to. All these contribute to any adjustment issues along with each child’s individual disposition. Unlike earlier days, kids are thrown together after many years, and they hardly have the same bond with each other. Sharing and more importantly giving in at times is what I see as a problem. Lastly, each parent thinks that his style of parenting is the right one. But, it really depends on a lot of factors like the environment around you, the child’s nature and inclination and even the gender of the children sometimes.
Glad to know that PNKR are sharing and gentle in disposition.