As mercury shoots up to obscene levels in Bangalore, I sit in well-ventilated rooms with my laptop and Coco in tow, shifting from sofa to chair, from room to room, supervising chores while continuing to keep working. Such a fun way to work, wouldn’t you say? So, this is the last Monday in a while when the house will be this peaceful. Yes, the kids finish their final exams this Wednesday and no matter how much I try to crib I can’t deny them this huge happiness that only comes with the advent of summer holidays. That beautiful time in every child’s life when the only routine is no routine. While parents everywhere break their heads on how to keep the busybodies engaged and those like yours truly on how to work from home amidst noise, this is still a time to celebrate. As we will in a couple of days. I have plans!
Remember my last frustrated post on their unit tests? Based on the helpful comments of my friends and advice from my dear friend, Zephyr, I astonished myself and let go. It was a little frightening but what the hell, it is only 3rd grade. So this final exams, the younger son has completely self-studied. No revision, no asking, no nothing from mum. I am curious to see how he has performed but most importantly he has been so happy and relaxed and so have I. Sometimes, we find it so hard to give up control but it is rewarding when we make the effort.
To be fair, the children are so much nicer to be around. Last week, for 3 days in a row my maid went AWOL. It is another story that she never came back (just like that) and I had to get a replacement. But, it is the kids who made it so much easier to manage the chores. From willingly (ok with some nudge from mama) loading the dishwasher, to handing clothes from the machine, to watering the plants, taking Coco out and even helping with the vacuuming and cooking, the boys outshone themselves.
As you enter middle age, with creaky joints and the realization that the tummy fat is getting even more stubborn, one of the most joyful realizations is that your children are getting older and wiser and are slowly slipping into the role of your friends, accomplices, even your anchors. You can have long emotional conversations with them. Discuss sticky topics like politics and religion and disagree wholeheartedly. Share with them your personal and professional joys and sorrows and actually see them pitch in with thoughtful suggestions and emotional support especially when you are having a low day. It is these gratifying moments when you bless your stars for having them as you watch them come into their own.
Yep, I realized that of late, I was probably cribbing a lot, all in good humour I assure you, about them. But, it is also equally important to acknowledge how much I rely upon them and fall back on their support. The younger son is always willing to accompany me for groceries or for the multiple trips outdoors making those trips less boring and dry. Both my sons shop for veggies and already understand how to pick fresh veggies. And did I tell you that they are an absolute joy to shop for clothes with, giving frank feedback and never once asking to leave impatiently. Of course, a trip to the McD helps perk them up suitably for their efforts.
So, yes, as you can make out that I am actually quite optimistic about these holidays. April and May also have some travel coming up which ought to be fun. That and some fabulous book reading and doing some online courses.
So, till the next time when they drive me up the wall; here’s to the fabulous sons!
How’s your March looking?
This phase is really nice..I remember having a lot of fun with mom during holidays..In fact, I would bunk college to go home and spend time with her..Even now when she comes home, I have this weird desire to bunk office and run to her. I hope you have a wonderful summer with your boys…We have a trip planned as well to both S’s and my hometown. I’m dreading the trip with the little one. Of course, this time I’ll get to spend a month at home with mom and dad after ages. I think the first time after college got over. So , yay! 🙂
Oh I completely agree that they are a joy to be around as they grow older. Gy has been offering to help voluntarily in so many ways that it warms my heart! From washing the car with her dad to helping him cook in the kitchen to helping me make pooris and even ready things for a puja, it’s a pleasure to watch her grow into this responsible child.
Your sons, if you are anything to go by, are sure to be wonderful kids, sane heads on saner shoulders. And to be honest, my close family is the only one I’d choose to discuss politics/religion with. At least I won’t be shot for the efforts 😉
Our exams end next Tuesday and she is already making plans to have friends over! This year has been the first of exams for her and you’re right, allowing her to study on her own is a pleasure as well as slightly alarming to watch 😛 A part of me wants to step in and help but I know that will harm her more than help. Reading this set of articles by Jessica Lahey on the gift of failure really helped me let go.
Sorry for the long comment! I never write such long comments. What have you done to me? 😛
Aw I loved this post Rachna. Your boys are delightful . We complain so much about our kids, I know I do, that sometimes we need to remind ourselves how much we really love them and what a wonderful difference they make to our lives. Of course as the holidays progress I know I will be back to the cribbing but now’s a good time to be grateful I have them. Thanks for this reminder.
PS: Class 3 and he’s on his own? I’m fainting. …
The cribbing is not because of the children. The cribbing is because of our expectations, because of our own denial of letting go of the control. Life would not have been fun without the kids. At least that’s how it is for me. The girls are having their two weeks mini vacation after the finals and are away at my parents. It is just a 15-20 minutes walks distance, yet they seem so far. The silence and the very knowledge that they’ll not be coming back in the evening makes me feel so lonely. May be more because of this viral fever with soar throat which has been refusing to leave me for over a week now. The house feels like a prison. I know I scream and yell when they are here, but without them there’s nothing to do much.
I hope you do have real good fun with the boys and the travel plans. Enjoy! 🙂
Sometimes, the kids are really difficult, Rekha. No denying that! At other times it could be because of our expectations. I completely understand that the house does feel empty when they are not around. But that does not imply that they are angels at all times when home. 🙂 Thanks for your wishes. Hope you have a fun vacation with the girls as well.
The best phase.. my younger one is similar to your younger one. He is my partner in everything. While the older one is grappling with teen aches, and understanding life, it is good to know that vacations are approaching. I have already made some plans, lets hope they go through smoothly.
The elder one is approaching his teenage and l an quite curious to see how that goes. Hope your vacation plans go smoothly, Lata.
You know what…I’m sitting here, reading all that you (and some of the other bloggers) are writing and hoping that it will be as you all say it will be.
The young one is way to energetic at this point and I’m struggling to keep up. Of course, add heat to the mix and I’m not even sure what I’m going to do in April – May. Fingers crossed.
Coming back to the post, they and you deserve that time off and hope you have a fabulous summer. And truth be told, as I always say, knowing you, I know that your sons are going to turn out awesome adults .
I completely understand where you are coming from, Sid, and l totally empathize with you. At R’s age, they are pretty difficult to be around but it does get better as they get older. For now, l feel you are really doing a great job as hectic as it is for you. Have you thought of a summer camp? I had put Sid and Gautam when they were that young in a fun camp where they painted, did craft, danced and sang, basically fun stuff and gave me much-needed respite or maybe a trip to the grandparents’. Thank you so much for your warm words of support always. Means a lot!
I can see your children are now becoming ‘friends’! If we think them as troublesome, they will be so. But if you start enjoying their holiday unruliness, in a positive way, the children also will be enjoying the holidays more happily and it will be easy for us too. Give them a bit importance and they will do anything for us…which they are capable of. I too was playing all indoor games with them after my work (they were helping me to finish off early for me to join them!). Actually, now I miss all those happy holidays!
Yes, you are right. I guess with children it’s a roller coaster ride. When you feel things are becoming bad they become like angels. But the fact remains that as they grow older, they become more responsible and easy with us.
Wonderful!
To be honest self-study sounds a bit scary for a third grader. Nonetheless, must be a learning experience, and would help to build trust. It’s good to read a happy post on Monday.
I have no plans for March. It’s business as usual.
Have fun with the boys. Enjoy the holiday to its best. 🙂
I had a smile when I was reading about your boys. It reminded me of Aaryan’s three months vacation… we chatted about anything and everything and he was my constant companion whether cooking or shopping or evening walks or doing things around home… it was like being with a friend. Seeing your kids grow from babies to mature boys is indeed a blessing and a proud happy feeling! Happy holidays to all of you!
It’s seriously so much easier now! Both of them self-study though I do have to nudge my second grader about homework! But, letting go of bathing, dressing up, heating their food, and keeping themselves entertained makes life much easier. And, chores are also done faster with their heavy lifting too!!
Yes, Rosh! After so many years of slogging, this really feels so nice. I guess now we can actually enjoy our children. 😉