Parenting is so complex, any which way. But all of us educated types have brought in huge doses of egos in our methods. What I mean to say is that because I am well educated and well read, I might not be so open to receiving advice about my parenting methods. Because, it is a reflection on me and my children. So, I might get defensive if someone points something out to me. This is what I see around me most often. Compare that to my mom’s time when they actually listened to and did something their elders said was good. They were more receptive to ideas.
Today, unless we see for ourselves, we do not wish to embark upon a path. I used to be rebellious in so many ways, but now I realize how important it is to benefit from other’s experiences. I have a friend, with whom I share a lot of personal stuff (very few friends who actually belong to this category). When she tells me her experiences with her sons who are older, that gives me a lot of insight. I, unfortunately cannot turn to my mom for advice, but my mom-in-law fills in aptly. She is a person I trust as much as my dad to offer me good advice. And, she has brought up 3 kids; that surely counts for something. I also read up about something if confused. I believe in seeking help, listening to others, and then using my judgement.
Take for example — A simple issue of disciplining children. It is just so confusing to take a measured path. Discipline a child more, and he ends up becoming dependent, fearful and way too docile — always seeking your endorsement. Discipline them too less and they become way too brash and spoilt, unable to use their best judgement. As parents, we wish our kids to respect us and treat us as friends as well and to turn out to be wholesome individuals. But, it is so much more difficult to draw that fine line of being too friendly or too strict. This is life, and things don’t always play out the way they write in parenting books.
My opinion for other parents — seek advice, your intentions are the best for your children but do not feel that you are the only one who knows everything. I have realized that the experiences of others have enriched my own dealings in my relationships and parenting. I learn so much from my blogger friends who I might not meet face to face. But, perspectives are always so fascinating. That and communication are really the key to most relationships including that of being a parent.
Disclaimer: These are strictly my views. They are absolutely not aimed at any particular individual/individuals.
P.S. Written communication is fraught with the danger of being misunderstood, hence the inclusion of disclaimers, of late, in my posts. 🙂
well welll Parenting is a Full time HANDS ON JOB…
and its difficult and one has to very careful..
as such with the new trends and way of the world parenting has become a big issue …
PArents are also busy trying to do the best for the kids .. so its getting more and more difficult
All i would say is you got to know how much you can force sometimes u got tobe there friends and sometimes parents
tricky very tricky… ALL THE BEST
I feel it is important for parents guide their children, but, at noo point must they become too assertive.After a stage and age, children should be treated as friends and the problems/ opportunities can be discussed with open mind.This may prove to be a very fruitful approach.
I am not a parent but I guess helping them find themselves would be my goal.
@Bikramjit Yes, it is and a tough job at that. But, I believe so are relationships. One has to work equally hard to have a happy, pleasant life.
And, since my children are very young, so I was talking about the issues of discipline. Of course, when they grow older, it is all about being their friends, winning their trust, and enabling them to feel free to communicate and discuss.
@BKChowla Yes, Sir. Definitely, after a stage and age, children ought to be treated as individuals and adults. Communication, as you rightly said, is the key to healthy relationships along with trust and mutual respect.
@Agnes Yes, broadly, I guess.
From what people say and from several bloggers, I have understood that parenting is no child’s play. When the time comes, I will for sure, as you advised, look around for tips from experienced and wise people 🙂
@Destiny’s child Oh yes, it is no child’s play for sure :).
Rachna
well said
but I disagree to you and Destiny’s child on no child’s play thing!!
It is a child play only and we are the sufferer!!
:):)
Shaurya is learnning how to ride a horse and guess who is the horse!! Me!!
He wants to be on my tummy and then he will jump franatically
🙂
P.S: Parenting is a Full time HANDS ON JOB…
No time for anything!! No friends, no movies, no outings, no dine out. But it has its own fun!!!
the tough task of disciplining the kids lie with my wife..me a friend of my kiddos..heheh.
the most difficult subject i think is parenting…..where no classrooms can teach you the ropes of this career.
@Bhupesh :). Yes, parenting completely transforms your life leaving you hardly any scope for your personal things. Your son is very young, but try to squeeze in some alone time for the both of you. Use mom or friends to babysit once in a while and do your own thing.
@Ramesh hahaha So you are having your cake and eating it too :).
@nitu Oh yes, nitu. Totally! That is why experiences have so much value — yours or others.
Hi Rachna, so true…on the other hand….
Being a mother, a full time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in any field, since the payment is pure love.
And a mother is a never ending song in a son or daughter’s heart of comfort, happiness and being.
They may sometimes forget the words, but they always remember the tune.
You’re a good mother, Rachna. Mothers like you like finding a ruby in the backyard, ha ha.
Have a nice weekend, keep well.
Best regards, Lee.
PS, guess who’s coming for dinner here in Toronto?
You’ll never guess.
I liked ur post. 🙂
@Uncle Lee You are wonderfully kind with your words. And, I am really curious! Who is coming to dinner in Toronto?
@Chandrika Thank you!
parenting is full time and hard job
@sm Yes, a very difficult job.