I know I am a bit late in writing about Mother’s Day :). I enjoyed reading posts by other bloggers giving various aspects about their mothers or mothers in general. I have written often about my mother in this forum, but my friend, Vani, inspired me to write about my wonderful mother-in-law.
In our almost 11-year journey together, she has been a support system for me always. When I came into the family, she seemed a little quiet. But, I felt welcomed by her from day 1. I did live just about less than 2 weeks with her before flying off with my husband to the US after my marriage. In that little time, she made me feel comfortable. I have always been a firebrand, and I tend to rebel against force. But, immature as I was, she handled me well. From praising my (then ;-)) very low culinary skills to gently telling me how different courses of rice in the South were eaten (I came from Mumbai and Ahmedabad), she was gentle. I remember spending some time with her and my fil when I flew down just 4 months later when my mom passed away. She was understanding, quiet and never intrusive. I have found her to be honest and transparent. I have always been able to communicate with her, and she is always straightforward in her conversation with me. She tells me to my face if she does not like something, and I respect her for that.
I can never forget how she looked after me when I was expecting my first son in the US. She catered to my every whim, every craving. My sister-in-law was expecting triplets at that time and must have needed her own mother so much more at that time. But, mom-in-law was there till after my delivery because she must have felt in her heart that my mother was not there so she must fill in that void for me (she never did say it in so many words). I would always be grateful to both of them for this.
With my second son’s birth too, she was there to take care of me. Her quiet and selfless presence over the years has been an integral part of my life.
She comes from a humble background but did well on her own perseverance and raised 3 kids with limited means and a full-time job. Yet, she supported my decisions to not work or work depending upon my family situation. I rely a lot on her advice. Most times, I just need to pick up a phone and she does what I ask of her. I have been especially touched when at times something I mentioned casually is remembered by her and taken care of. I remember that she always encouraged Gurdev and I to go out and spend some time on our own when she used to visit us or when we visited her. She was more than happy to babysit the kids for us. It is always a pleasure seeing her interact with her grandkids. When she comes home, she has no mother-in-law airs about her and helps me so much around the house. I wish that she could come stay with us forever, but then I understand that she needs her freedom and space too. There are so many such wonderful small incidents that have enriched my life. I feel I can be myself with her. Very few daughters-in-law can actually say that! I feel blessed that I can.
And today, she has my love and respect. I want to thank her for being such a wonderful part of my life. I cherish the relationship I share with her. Happy Mother’s Day to both of us :).
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Mother’s day wishes to both of u..
wow. happy mothers day to you and her.. also she sounds sooo amazing Rachna… i am glad you have someone like her in your life. god bless you both
That is a lovely post Rachna! God bless her with healthy happy long life.
I have read many MIL tributes during mother’s day. If you have a good MIL, you must appreciate her good qualities on this day at least if not every day, for it is rare to come across good people. I am really happy to learn something about your MIL.
Happy Mother’s day to you and to her too.
Nice… 🙂
Happy Mother’s Day to both!! 🙂
@Tomz and R-A-J Thanks!
@Emmy I am lucky in that sense definitely, Emmy. Thanks so much for your wishes.
@NRIGirl Thanks you! You are right, it is wonderful if you have a kind and understanding mil in your life.
@rama I do appreciate her and I hope she knows that. I know, it is definitely rare. And, I stand by the fact that when it comes to relationships things can be blissful if women stand with other women.
It’s a wonderful post. I appreciate you, the way you put thoughts in words. I would just like to add another quality of your MIL which is amazing, her language grasping skills even at this age. May god give all the happiness to you and family.
Lovely post Rachna; not everyone acknowledges their M-I-L.
@manika Thanks so much for the warm words of encouragement. You are right; she is great with languages, a skill I think I will always be poor at.
@bbsearchingself Thanks a lot, Bhagya. The least I can do is appreciate her for playing such a pivotal role in my married life.
I really like how she encouraged you and Gurdev to go out. I have seen up close how a friend’s marriage became a todo-list, instead of the nice mix of duties/love/fun. If she encouraged that, then that is a sign of wisdom (as well as loving fun :-).
@Bart You make a very valid point here. The time that a young couple misses out due to responsibilities of kids and house is very important to their relationship. Indeed! It really was wonderful when the kids were very young, and we could steal some time together with her help. Apart from wisdom, I take it as empathy too.
happy mother’s day
@BKC Thank you so much!
This comment was left by Bikramjit
“Happy mothers day..
Actually I think there are more Good stories about MIL – and DIL .. but people have this habit to go on about only the bad ones .. A few silly people make everyone look bad.
I have seen my mother too and have seen my sisters as DIL and they have lovely relation…
@Bikram I agree. There are a lot of such stories that need to be told.
this is the first time i am reading an article based on mother’s day, which is not actually about mother, but mother-in-law. Indeed u r lucky Rachna ji, but i believe so is ur mother-in-law….:-)
Happy mothers day.. I am late but the blogger was not working..
Happy mothers day..
Actually I think there are more Good stories about MIL – and DIL .. but people have this habit to go on about only the bad ones .. A few people make everyone look bad.
I have seen my mother too and have seen my sisters as DIL and they have lovely relation..
Bikram’s“
@Bikram True, there are many such good mil and dil stories that need to be told more often.
@BKChowla thanks for the mother’s day wishes. Blogger was having some trouble so comments were not appearing.
BK Chowla, has left a new comment on your post “That’s what mothers are for…”:
happy mother’s day
Posted by BK Chowla, to Rachna says at May 12, 2011 12:17 PM
deekay has left a new comment on your post “That’s what mothers are for…”:
this is the first time i am reading an article based on mother’s day, which is not actually about mother, but mother-in-law. Indeed u r lucky Rachna ji, but i believe so is ur mother-in-law….:-)
Posted by deekay to Rachna says at May 12, 2011 7:39 PM
@Deekay Thank you for visiting my blog. Thank you for such a wonderful compliment too :).
It’s a blessing to have such a wonderful MIL! Happy belated Mother’s Day wishes to both of you!
Cheers 🙂
@shilpa thank you and wish you the same :). I do consider myself pretty fortunate in that regard.
Oh my goodness. You are both so blessed in this. I simply can’t imagine what this sort of relationship must be like but it sounds very very very lovely. Perhaps how it is meant to be?
Thank you Colleen. I quite admire her. We share a great rapport, touchwood!
I love reading posts like this Rachna! There is too much real life distress in the world to be always reading distressing things – and there is real need to know that people can be kind, good, loving and even noble.
Thank you Suresh! There are so many good men and women around us. Yet all we read is about evil ones especially when it comes to mils.
You are indeed blessed.
Yes, I am!
Wow! You are truly blessed!
Thank you! I feel similarly.
Well, a belated Happy Mothers Day to you!
Glad to read about your relationship between you and your mom-in-law. Sounds like she doesn’t watch any TV! 😀
Thank you Rickie and wish you mom the same :). Yep, it is time people read about good mils too. And, you wouldn’t believe she watches all saas bahu soaps but luckily takes no inspiration from them :).
I have heard and read many praises of mothers … she really must be special for you to pen a tribute to her. Nice
Oh yes, Ritu! She is very special to me. Like I said, through these years, we share a relationship that is our own, not dependent on her son and my husband but unique in its own way. Just like I would with my mother, I give her love and respect and she reciprocates. And, she is there for me when I need her. And the best part is she never says it in so many words, but does these little things for me. Now, she and I can sit together and bitch about her son :). The camaraderie we share is so much fun. And, I truly cherish what I have with her.