As I graduated from being a carefree student and professional to a married woman with kids, my friendships got modified too. Earlier, it was a hip gang with intelligent and smart people :), and we were an opinionated lot. I have some fun memories of my college days – the outings, the camps, the projects; those carefree days were the best in life! Today, I have a motley group of friends from a wider cross-section of people. I have matured in my friendships; have become less judgmental, calmer, more giving and even more forgiving. And, technology is such a great boon. I might not be in touch with all, but I don’t hesitate to pick up the phone and talk when the heart so desires. And, emailing is absolutely my forte along with social media 🙂. It might be difficult to believe because I share so much through my blog, but deep down I am still that shy girl who opens to the very few whom she has implicit trust in.
This question always fascinates me: What motivates us to be friends with someone? It is very difficult to say. I think there has to be a connection for sure. How does one feel the connection? This connection has to be sometimes nurtured over a period of time, and at other times, it happens almost immediately. It is fascinating that I feel this connection not only with old friends but even with virtual friends, some of whom I’ve never even met. How miraculous is that! I think as friends it is also very important to use one’s discretion and keep private details which another person has shared to one’s own selves. Many a times, I have noted with dismay that people would reveal all and sundry just for the sake of a conversation. I give a lot in my friendships and expect the same fervor in return.
“It is a sweet thing, friendship, a dear balm,
A happy and auspicious bird of calm…”
– Shelly
“True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.”
– Charles Caleb Colton
True friends are a life long asset! Nice post Rachna:)
Thank you Rahul! Yes, true friends are.
Very well written… true friends are rare, and meant to be cherished! 🙂
Thank you Ash!
Friends are what make the world a better place. I feel blessed to have so many of them, both in the real and the virtual world. Just because they are in the virtual world doesn’t mean they are any less real or wonderful. Happy Friendship Day, Month, Year and Lifetime 🙂
Wish you the same! It is a wonderful feeling to have people who care in your life.
You come across as a person who doesn’t give up easily on relationships, friends and convictions…
Loved the mellow, reflective tone of this post.
Thank you Purba! Yep, I don’t :).
Friends are a divine blessings for the lucky ones.
Happy friendship day .
Wish you the same, Chowlaji!
Friends are blessing really. The kind of comfort we share with our friends, it cant beat any other relationship. Fitting post
Totally agree, Insignia! There is something so special in friendship, and I hate how the term “good friends” has been abused by celebrities.
Acquaintances are ten a penny but true friends are like gold.
Well said, Jane!
I believe that friendships need nurturing and love to sustain and last. Sometimes misunderstandings do weaken a friendship..that has happened with me and my best friend. I also feel that sometimes you need to let go of some friendships cause they burden you…
Yes, I agree Vinita! Like any other relationship, friendship requires hard work too. Take friends for granted, and before you know it, they will be gone. I know about the overly possessive kinds too. Luckily, my closest friends have stayed with me. I personally would go out of my way to mend fences with someone really close.
I am the same too, I give a lot and expect a lot and thats how friendship should be always..
and You have read a lot of my posts on friendships , I have been lucky to have such lovely people in my life and god has been kind.
no doubt over the years I have met some of those people too who say one thing and do the other, its strange and makes me wonder dont they realise themselves, but i guess thats life.. you win some you lose some ..
Bikram’s
I know you are. I have seen you stand by friends and also seen many posts where you reminisce about your friends. It is great to know that you are blessed with good friends in your life. It is a reflection on you as a person that you attract good people. Life teaches us a lot, doesn’t it?
I guess, some people just get along more with each other 😉
Happy friendship day~
Wish you the same! Yes, the chemistry among friends can be quite something :).
I do have many friends who go back to more than 25 years…and we don’t stay in touch regularly, but whenever we meet, we set the house on fire. Friends are awesome! Loved this post.
I can relate very much to that :).Thank you, Janu!
You are tempting me to write a similar post ….: p..i always wondered this abt my son. When i go to the open jouse in his school, i would notice that the one who has the worst handwriting is the kid who my son talks abt all the time, that he is his best friend…:) i am not judging here:) yes, friends go a long way in life…
And go right ahead, Latha :). I guess we choose our friends based on how well we gel irrespective of their flaws.
Rachna, you have struck a chord here! Mt father also had a transferable job and I and my sisters lost many a friend in those often traumatically uprooting events. Your observations on growing up and the changes that it brings in are quite apt. Those are lovely quotes. I wish to add a line from Simon And Garfunkel:
And friends just can’t be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
Loved the quote! But then the good part is that we can live anywhere comfortably. We belong everywhere and nowhere :).
What a beautiful post Rachna. And Shelly’s quote adds more to your thoughts…I have been blessed with a good set of friends in life, and they are my assets !!
Happy Friendship Day to you too!!
Thank you Panchali! Friends are special; time to acknowledge their contribution in our lives. Wish you the same.
Strange, I have lost touch with all my close friends, many of them just got so busy with their lives, they just vanished. But they were really close friends, and I really look back and cherish the time we spent together. Times change, and with it people’s priorities, they are not to blame. I still keep hoping I might bump into some of them somewhere, and we can bond from there.
It doesn’t take me much time to become close to someone whom I can relate to, be it virtual friends or otherwise.
However, when someone asks me, do I have friends here, I don’t have an appropriate answer, for it is yes as well as no, for I am quite close to a lot of people, yet they are really not my friends/ close friends in the real sense. Isn’t it strange?
I am glad you are able to keep in touch with your close friends.
It happens to all of us, Rama! We get too busy to find time or just drift apart in our own lives onto other things. There are very few that I am regularly in touch with, but I do make the effort to stay connected.
Hello rachna,
Happy (belated) friendship day. In fact we have something in common. I too was terribly shy when i was kid..Happy to learn about the history of your friendship..Happy to be one among them..
Wish you the same, Tomz!
the progression of how we view friendship from school and college to our present state seems to be pretty universal! I am glad for social media to stay in touch with all my old school and college friends!
Yep, it is true for most of us. Me too, FB is a huge help that way :).
Friendships are really very special relationships. I like the line that says Friends are the family we choose. are Belated Friendship day, Rachna. I hope you got to speak to your dear friends and wish them too. You just reminded me of an old post I wrote about a few years ago. 🙂
So true, Divya. I wish you a Happy Friendship Day too. I actually sent us special emailed notes to the close ones on Sunday :).
Hi Rachna
As you said, our attitude towards friendships change as we age and mature…True Friends are hard to get but are precious nevertheless….Very good post!
They are precious because they are few. Thank you for connecting with it, Jaish!
quality of life depends on our relationship, bond or connection with people who can bring happiness in our lives. of course, we cannot always have too much expectations from them or may be friendship shouldn’t be based on expectations at all.
enjoyed the read, is it friendship day today? happy friendship day, then!!
Deb, increasingly I believe that it is the people in our lives that are worth much more than anything money can ever buy for us. I think it is impossible not to have expectations but realistic expectations and a more practical outlook helps. Trust me, if you extend a hand, the other person will extend a hand too. Often in the hustle bustle of life, we forget to do small things that matter. Wish you the same. Where are you? 🙂 It was on Sunday?
yes, we do have expectations otherwise how would they bring happiness in our lives? but to be practical, we need to take whatever is dished out for us (i am using the dialogue of one of my long lost friends) otherwise we would only complicate things. and based on the dished out stuffs (i am definitely not referring to anything materialistic) we need to see who is worth it.
i live in a town where we don’t even know if such things (friendship day etc) exist 😀 but i am sure the young generation does.
I agree, my friend! We need to judge based on what is dished out. People change, circumstances change, expectations change. I guess move on with those who you can still relate to, and leave behind those who you once loved but lost with a heavy heart. Young generation definitely is more aware of these things! Even my 5-year-old son wanted a friendship band :).
Lovely post Rachna,it sent me to my past.i still love the friends of my childhood days & yearn to meet them once again.but once you get married ,change domicile, you lose touch for ever.when i shifted out from Delhi keeping in touch was not so easy,so that i have lost them for ever.new friends can never take the place of old ones.
Thank you Indu! I have made some very good new friends too. Have an open heart, and you will find likeminded people.
Happy friendship day! You are right, there has to be a connection – sometimes instant and sometimes it takes time. Friendships from schooldays are always special as that is where you learn the first lessons in socializing. I believe it is above any other bond. Just imagine, friends are not related in any way yet no one else can relate to you like they can! 🙂
absolutely friendship is the most amazing relationships and applies to other relationships as well.
hmhm…… Good friends are indeed hard to come by. But I don’t really think you need to work to form a good friendship- It just happens. If you are enjoying someone’s company and the someone is also enjoying yours. I think that will form the basis of a very good relationship. And, if you find that you have to do something for your friend, I don’t really see it having to work for your friendship but rather as helping out your friend. Nice post.
Muthu Thank you so much for your visit. You are right; you don’t have to work hard to form a good friendship but you have to work to sustain it. By work, I mean caring, being there for each other and staying in touch.
Lovely post Rachna 🙂 True friends are a bliss.
Thank you Jas!
Wow, you really got me thinking Rachna.
My friends mean the world to me. I’d do anything for them. I think that trust is a big factor. If I cannot trust someone I can’t feel close to them.
And I feel similarly. Hope you are well, Agnes!
i personally feel that it doesn’t matter whether it is real or virtual friendship as long as we have that special bond of friendship among ourselves….
Nice post Rachna ji…:))
Very true! Thank you Irfan!
Off late, I have been doing a lot of thinking about what friends are…I think after reading your post, I got some answers. Thanks for writing this post Rachna and belated Friendship Day.:)
Wish you the same, Saru! I am glad you could connect with the post.
My father also got transferred every few years and in that process I feel I lost touch with a few very good friends. However, when I look back, I feel that the frequent shifting was a blessing in disguise as I can make friends very easily now.Friends are special,you may not be in touch for months on end,and then a call and you are transported back in time..as if nothing had moved in between..
You are right, Sharmila! The frequent moves have enriched me in other ways. I also find it easier to adapt to new places as well as reach out to new people. And, yes with my old friends, I feel that we can just pick up from where we left off many years ago :).
This post took me down the memory lane! There have been so many friends over the years, some fade away with time and with some that ‘connection’ is still there and despite the distance or the years, the relation is still there and it’s like you pick up where you left and it’s just the same beautiful relation again!
Isn’t it amazing how fondly we think of close friends!
Seven schools in ten years of study prepares one to make friends easily. However, events in the last few years have made me a little wary of getting too close to friends – just a matter of time before I go back to being me though 😉
I understand about being wary. I also tend to be on guard before letting myself get too close. I have felt that guard dropping especially with some warm and amazing people that I’ve met in the blog world including you!
Friends are made @connect, instant.:-)
Lovely post Rachna.
Thank you Pattu :).
Rachna,
I always say that one is really very lucky if he or she has couple of real close friends with whom everything can be shared with confidence that it will not travel the gossip way and get some real sound advice too.
Take care
Thanks Jack!
“siblings by chance N friends by choice..”
I love the post.. reminds me of my nature as a little girl..
good friends are blessing!
Nice post Rachna. Agree with you on the friendships modifying / maturing with age. Funny how the bonding factors change..
Its a bond that lasts over distances and time. Friends are truly the greatest asset one has
It is indeed a connection you feel 🙂
Friends are the true jewels of one;s life.Wonderful post..:)
Yes often wonder how and why we make the friends we do and ponder more when we have to let go of someone from our lives – I guess it is all about the connection then. No point forcing things.