Just like movie actors, we in blogdom have our own unique language — bloggerspeak. If you are new in town, you may even fall for it. Even seasoned bloggers are not immune to it, I must admit :).
Here is my effort to deconstruct some of it for you. Sometimes I do have so much time to kill, I tell you! Yes, you can thank me all you want in the comments!
I only write for myself. I don’t care for views and followers.
Deconstructed: I have tried to get visitors by hook or by crook but have failed miserably each time. I hate everyone popular to death!
I only want honest feedback.
Deconstructed As long as it is all good :).
I love your writing. You inspire me. I look forward to your posts.
Deconstructed: Only if you give me return visits and leave comments on my blog. My love vanishes if you stop!
Nice post. Amazing. What imagery. How visual!
Deconstructed: This is the best I could do from the comments I read above.
You write so well. I am looking forward to a book from you.
Deconstructed As long as you don’t expect me to buy it.
Who cares for awards? They are anyway dished out only to popular bloggers.
Deconstructed I would give my arm and leg for one but no one considers me.
I like only genuine readers.
Deconstructed By genuine I mean anyone who will comment on my post and also agree with what I write. Even Russian hackers are welcome as long as they add to the pageviews!
Crisp review. I think I will add this book to my must-read list!
Deconstructed: Your review put me to sleep! What book was that again?
This post has been sponsored by ….. But all opinions expressed are my honest views.
Deconstructed: After the client supplied the draft, added a couple of links and changed the tone.
I am so fortunate to have met such fantastic people on my blogging journey. They are friends for life.
Deconstructed: Only as long as they continue to read, comment on and share my work.
Your writing is so simple and beautiful. It strikes a chord every single time.
Deconstructed: Even my 10-year-old child can write better than that.
Hahaha This was so humorous. Fun post! Masterful satire!
Deconstructed: I did not find anything funny but what the hell everyone says it is funny so it must be.
Feel free to add to this list with some of your own gems of bloggerspeak here.
Disclaimer: This is a light-hearted piece. Any resemblance to anyone real and blogging is certainly intended.
More than half of these comments have landed on my blog. But I really dont care because you know I only write for myself 🙂
Oh yes, so do I :). Never mind all the promotions I do in the different forums for my post :-P!
“No comments” – usually when I’m at a loss for words. Which I rarely am. (Or I can’t think of anything nice to say) 🙂 Interesting list there Racha.
Humor is sometimes based on generalisation, and usually if people can take that on their chin and in their strides – perfect. But yes, honesty seems to be a lost art amongst bloggers. No constructive criticism nor no acceptance of those either.
P.S. I’m following this, just because I’m curious 🙂
hehe I hope the comments you read here are fun. I guess, yes. Every place and its inhabitants have their quirks. This was really a fun post. If you haven’t noticed, most of these are my own comments :-D. Of course, I always mean them ;-).
Now don’t expect comments on a post like this!
What can I say…we do take flattery to another level.
Laughed loudest at What book was that?
I am surprised that so many people enjoyed laughing at ourselves. I know I did when I wrote this post. So many of these are my own comments or lines. Yes, we do take flattery to another level and I wonder why. It is not really needed. Glad you liked the post :).
Ahem! Bus pagli, rulaygi kya?
So what you are saying is that I am supposed to READ before I comment? Now you tell me? No wonder I have been getting it all wrong. Lol!
But this was a good one, Rachna. Believe you me, I have resorted to it, too. Initially. Now I comment only if I think the post deserved to know ‘BlogwatiG was here’. 😉
And whenever the mighty Blogwati G leaves a comment, I do a merry dance :). Thank you for the honesty. I have used them too. In fact, most of them are my own lines. Of course, I mean them without the deconstruction ;-).
Ouch! I’ve read these comments on my blog. We bloggers are a breed apart!
Indeed we are, Ritu. Thanks for reading.
ha ha…true! It sounded like so much like the Rapid fire quiz on Koffee with Karan.
But needless to say, you got all of them spot on 🙂
Thanks you, Ghata! Glad you enjoyed them.
hahaha Rachna I don’t know what to add to that…
‘What book was that again ?’ and ‘I only write for myself’ are the funniest ones…!
Thanks, Naba. Glad you liked it :).
nahiiiii…. aisa nahi ho sakta.. ab se mein book review karna chhod doongi cos a lot of the comments that I get say “short and crisp” 🙁
Loved this one, nodded my head to all and cried a bit on the book review one 😉
Nahin, sirf mere comments real hai ;-). Samjha karo. Thank you so much for enjoying the post, Seeta!
Agree fully with your deconstruction, Rachna! Quite a fun and enjoyable post. Each community does develop its lingo and subculture. The challenge is to walk through it and keep one’s authenticity. Your tongue-in-cheek post acts as a good reminder:) Thanks!
Thanks, Beloo! Your comments are always so sensible. Thank you for reading and for summing up the post so well.
I love the first one the best….cos’ there was a whole blog post dedicated to this topic not-so-long ago 😉
Agree with all the points but can’t think of anything more to add. Haan, “I don’t resort to scratch my back and I will scratch yours. But, I return the favour…courtesy you see.”
Yes, yes it is courtesy :). But you know, I try to visit every commenter’s site at least once. And that has made me uncover so many fabulous blogs. Of course, those that don’t make an impression do not get repeat audience. Thanks for reading, Janu.
Your post is fun to read. But, there are still some genuine people (like me!) who really mean what they say…
Ah! All those 1000s of real comments I have written… Bachao!!!
Genuine Question- Time to read between & outside the lines, Rachna? 🙂
Yes, Anita. There are many genuine readers. You know most of these lines I’ve used are mine but I don’t use them frivolously or without meaning them. This was just a fun dig at some quirks of bloggerland. You and I know that cliches exist and so do these deconstructions :). Thanks so much for reading.
Truth hurts..but we bloggers do speak this lingo. I cringed when I read many of your deconstructions.
Thank you, Preethi. Sometimes, we don’t realize that the blogger knows if we have read the post or not. I feel why do it? Glad that you related with the post.
he he he I get them all the time , I am sure you have seen it tooo
Loved the deconstuction.. I need to go back to the old posts and copy some comments here 🙂
and what about those who read the first line of the post and the last and then comment 🙂 as i had some saying i shud go and hug my dad or extend their regards to him etc etc.. I have not approved those comments but wanted to say , Sorry mate.. it will be a few years that i can do that .. dont want to die just yet 🙂
Lovely article 🙂 no one says i like lovely article boooooooooo hoooooooooooo 🙁 🙁
he he he he
Yes, I have seen them on your blog. Reading the first and last line, yes they are under time constraint I am sure :). No one can accuse you of not reading. You always bring so much happiness and perspective to every post you read. How you do it, I don’t know? But thank you for being so genuine.
I went back to my old post and searched for ur comments on it 🙂
You got me there, girl :).
Most bloggerspeak, when tweaked a bit, applies to all personal interactions. That’s because many consider blogging as e-gossip!
I’ve often wondered whether Commenters, Likers and Followers expect to receive Comments, Likes and Follows as ‘return gifts’!
I think a lot of return gifts are expected in blogging. Certainly the ones you have pointed out. Sometimes the shallowness of it all is very distasteful. Thanks for reading, Pro.
These are non(?)standard comments all over the blogsphere..
For a lot of people,its a cut paste job
The cut paste jobs are even worse :/. Thanks for reading, Chowlaji.
Bloggers are a different breed altogether. They love each other and then they hate it each other! We also tend to crib all the time about comments and likes and awards and blah! Sometimes I feel we are a lost cause!! But then, who cares. As long as writing gives us happiness.
You brought out the strife in the ways of bloggerworld very well, Nisha. Thanks for reading.
😀 LOL ! Now that you have deconstructed all the standard things that I had planned to say, lemme think.. How about – You can be the new Aunty Acid 🙂
Yay! I love Aunty Acid :).
Hahaha! I don’t think there are any more to add. You covered all the hilariously shallow ones quite well!
Glad you enjoyed the post, Rickie :).
Best time reading this this week!!
Thank you, Subho. I am so glad you liked the post.
This is the best I could do from reading the comments above. Ha ha ha.
Hahahaha..this was so humorous, fun post :P…hahahahahaha
Thank you :-P.
nicely deconstructed Rachna!! 😀
Thanks, Pixie :).
Hahaha! Rachna! When did you steal my dictionary/phrase-book? 🙂
Though about the only thing I make no bones about is the fact that I am with Isaac Asimov when he says, “When I call for criticism, I mean ONLY praise. If you find something wrong in what I have written, you can keep it. I don’t want it’ 🙂
hahaha Something to the tune of Henry Ford’s ” I like all colors as long as it is black.” :D.
What a thought provoking post, ROFL, LOL , and I am so much inspired by your writing.. I will pre-book your book. 🙂
No seriously whom do we bloggers try to make a fool of in comments ? Each other I guess !
Thank you so much for reading and sharing the post, Prasad. Indeed, why do we make fools of ourselves. Don’t leave a comment if you don’t read a post. Good for you that I am not writing any books in the future :).
heheh!!! Great compilation!! You told us to thank you in the comments, so thank you very much!! I will keep this dictionary handy to understand what commentors are really trying to tell me and to make sure I don’t use the same terminology myself!! 😀
I love the new header!! LOL!! Is this the one that Shruti made for you?!
Thank you for liking the new header. Yes, Shruti helped me with it. She is very sweet.
Yes, I will also think twice before dishing out these lines :-).
LOL…you opened a can of worms….But, I do agree with Anita…there are genuine readers. I know she does.
Of course, Vidhya. There are genuine readers. I am sure of it. This was just meant to poke some fun at the cliches not to undermine all readers and commenters :). Thanks so much for reading.
Rachna, I will only comment on a post that has intrigued me in some way or the other. I lvoe many of your posts but well my fav was your role model one. Truly inspiring 🙂 🙂
I am sure I have used some of those very lines on some blogs… but then I have meant what i said then 🙂 🙂
Ah, thanks a lot, Veens. I loved that one too. It was very emotional for me to write. You know, I have said all these lines and always meant them just like you. It is always the intent that matters, isn’t it? 🙂
between love the makeover of the blog… 🙂
Thank you, Veens. I am glad you liked it.
Can’t stop laughing at this ungodly hour. Nothing to add except one ( I’ve confronted this one recently ) ” You’re my inspiration” Deconstructed : ” I can adopt your ideas and twist them in my own way ”
…and feeling so scared knowing about that ” short and crisp” thing… Oh God ! really ??? 😛 😀
That was fantastic, Maniparna. This inspiration incident of yours reminds me of Anu Malik and his brand of inspiration :). Thanks so much for reading and enjoying the post :).
haha! That’s a fun and light-hearted read, Rachna:)
Thank you, Vishal :).
Not your reader any more….no more comments for you from today. Time out!
Haye haye, aise toh na rootho :).
itna naa tho darana hai naa….heheeheh…..booooo hooooo
The thing is you know when I really really love some post and want to say great post or I wish I could write like you, I am scared to say that thinking if people will think I am just lying and don’t really mean it.
I know what you mean, Latha. Thank you for your honesty and love.
Comprehensive.all-inclusive deconstructions Rachna.
Now what should i say?I m in a fix.
But i read you and liked it too.
Thank you so much, Indu. All in fun, I assure you :).
I am afraid to comment now 😀
not only here but on other blogs too.
hehehe Indrani! You are too cute :D. So good to see you here.
Have you noticed, almost everyone said- I’ve got such comments on my blog too. No one said- I’ve also made such comments on people’s blogs.
This was raw and spicy. Just as I love it.
The one that truly gets my goat is the blogger who NEVER reads your post and feel they must compensate by leaving the most effusive and garish comment ever conceived. Or the one who is the soul- sister of that one but one of deplorably scant vocabulary. I don’t know which is worse, really.
Brilliant imagery though. Such masterful satire! You’ve done it again! 😀
Yes, I noticed that, Dagny. Actually, I’ve made all these comments on various blogs or used them in my posts :). Like you pointed out, the words we use may be the same but the intent varies from person to person. Like I said earlier, when you like it wholeheartedly, I know that it is a job well done. Thank you so much for reading, liking and sharing. Your last words killed me :D.
yipes… everyone always tells me how simple my words are.. now I know the truth 🙁
From tomorrow onwards, I am keeping a thesaurus beside me while I post. No more small words… I mean “nil speeches of coherent thoughts of miniscule proportions” !
Roshan, I hear simple writing about my posts all the time :). I take it as a compliment devoid of any connotations. Come on, cheer up, you are a popular, award winning blogger :-P!
All this while I actually thought I did a decent job of ‘masterful satire’. My life is a lie. Ezcooz me, while I go and drown myself in the nearest pothole.
On a serious note, I’m still laughing :p