I read some good articles in the Outlook and it made me ashamed to read the experience of the Black American student and even our very own girl from Northeast and their experiences in Delhi. Anyone who has stayed or lived in India would know that despite our big rants about being culturally evolved, we actually fall way behind on decency and cultural parameters than say the Westerners. What I mean is that our parents emphasize a lot on good education, morality, family values but where do they leave out courtesy and basic human decency. If we see anything or anyone strange, we gape like monkeys. No one told us not to stare. It is very common for people to ask each other where are you from or what is your caste. If you are of a darker complexion, you are automatically tagged South Indian. We are not taught to smile at each other unless we are acquaintances. It is very common for people to use color-specific terms like “kaali”, “gori” etc. and to attach connotations with that. “Gori” or fair is the preferred way to go among many Indians. They find it hard to believe that a person can be happy with the way they look including their skin color. We have no considerations for the lesser privileged like the handicapped or the mentally challenged and if you see one, you would see many people openly staring. What is the matter with us? Why don’t we bring up our children teaching them to be friendly, not to gape at people, not to say anything hurtful? Why can’t we be sensitive to each other’s needs? Why can’t we treat people with respect and not say hurtful things to their face. Not everyone is this way but it is a prevalent trend in most cities.
I had a very interesting conversation about racism with my son two days ago. Even at 7 years, he has heard words like “kaala”, “gora” etc. He is of a darker complexion just like me. I explained to him that he is so wonderful just the way he is and that I would not want to change anything in him just as I am beautiful this way and I surprise people when I tell them that I am extremely satisfied with the way I look and I am :). They feel how come someone does not want to be fairer. My aim is to make him comfortable and confident in his skin and not chase other’s expectations of him.
Anyway, I told him that if someone says anything to you in a derogatory tone, you have to know that their parents have not taught them good manners and you have to ignore them. On your part; however, I never want to see you make fun of and judge people from the way they look. He nodded his head :). He seems to be understanding and I hope will continue to do so in the future that in life it is much more important to be a good person than everything else combined.