I did take on to Social Networking in a big way — joined FB almost 5 years back, started blogging almost 4 years back and tweeting too a few years back. Suddenly an all new world opened out. I could reconnect with childhood school friends, college friends whom I had lost touch with and relatives living far away. It was all so wonderful! I was an active participant, criticizing, being judgmental, bitchy, witty, humorous all rolled in one. Ah, my blog, for somebody like me who has so many opinions and talks nine-to-a-dozen, it was just the perfect setting. Write as much and whatever you liked, spew venom, de-stress, who cared about what I wrote. But slowly, I read others’ blogs; they read mine, and then this wonderful world opened out where I could read wonderful stuff, some of it helpful, some informative, some plain fun and some other mundane! I loved social networking. There was a time when I had a twitter timeline going on and kept actively reading tweets for hours (not anymore).

But, somewhere it became unhealthy and damn addictive. Logging into Facebook and checking what someone wrote, expressing opinion and then getting back if there was a difference of opinion. Checking to see who commented what on my photos or commenting on someone else’s pictures. You have to see some of the really heated discussions that take place on FB. And, I had some nasty commenters too on my blog. Those I handled better, perhaps because I didn’t actually care what they thought. I didn’t know them and didn’t mind them thinking the worst of me. But, my posts became a little restrained when I came to know that a next-door neighbor was reading it too along with my husband’s friends. When you put a face to your reader, you are a little sensitive in what you write. At least, that works for me.

And then I realized that is it really worth getting into all those heated arguments, expressing stupid opinions that mean so little and actually jeopardizing years of friendship or relationship forΒ  a misunderstood opinion? If you comment on something and someone does not reply, you feel bad. If you don’t comment, they may feel bad. What is this new hazard of communication? And then so much precious time goes in just jumping from one blog to another, one article shared to another that could have been utilized in a much better way. Priorities are getting sidelined, and yes a narcissistic, bragging culture is being promoted. Do it, click it, and put it up on FB. I am bigger, wiser, more intelligent, have better kids, better dog than you. I have this gadget, do you? There is no end to this, and it gets more bizarre all the time. The fatigue begins setting in, and I really feel the need to stay away. I mean how does it matter if I miss a few status updates or pics or if I don’t make my big point? I am giving too much importance to myself; frankly no one cares :).

The part I find most stressful is exposure to so many depressing stories and events. I mean really, I have enough tensions in my own life, I don’t need to reason threadbare issues I have no control over and can do precious little about. So, why surround myself with so much negativity? I want more positivity in my life. I want exposure to more humor and fun. So, I’ve cut down watching senseless news debates (read Arnab) πŸ™‚ and going to depressing blogs (no offense meant to anyone).

So, what I follow these days is staying away from unnecessary controversies. Seek more positive influences. Definitely spend more time away from all social networking, just login sparingly to FB. Basically, spend more time in actual contact than via social network. And, yes a little less bragging is good too ;-).

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76 Thoughts on “Social Networking — Why it isn’t working for me!

  1. A big resounding AMEN from me Rachna! You said it all and you said it perfectly!

    • Thank you Colleen :). Glad you could relate. Why have you cut down your blogging. I love reading your posts. Or is it that you are really busy with painting?

  2. True Rachna. But to get to this level of ‘nirvana’ we have go through that honeymoon, restless, obsessed and enough-of-it stages πŸ™‚

  3. well, getting involved in these social networking is not that bad as far as one is not in ADDICTION of it….thats how i feel..:)

  4. πŸ™‚ well thank god i did not get addicted to FB I find it complete waste of time and useless , people spend so much time on it they can do much better and more worthwhile stuff if they dont waste there time here …

    Take care.

    Bikram’s

  5. A nice honest post Rachna – it is difficult sometimes to step back from obsessive checking … I have all three accoutns too but I find Twitter just one step too far. For a while i followed some popular comedians but really they maybe said something amusing once a week so I cut them out. I don’t watch (or own) a TV but I do go out with friends a lot – the real world is quite a nice to place to be. Where you can say something and people can see immediately that it is a joke or serious!
    Have a good day – I’m not offended if you don’t comment by the way!!

    • Well pointed out, Jane. One just feels the compulsion to check back after a little time. It is just so crazy that even on holidays, you cannot stay away. When we actually look at it, what are we really doing?

  6. Wise decision as it doesn’t seem to work for you .Keep blogging Rachna ,I love reading you :):)

    • Thank you Kavita. I really must cut it down. It works in some ways, but I don’t want it to become this overpowering monster. I want to control it. And thanks, blogging will always be my first love :). I love reading your posts too.

  7. agree with you.. still blogging is one arena I guess you would never ever wanted to leave … and as far as FB is concerned, it’s all about knowing and gossiping about others.. I use it to promote my blogs though πŸ™‚

    Weakest LINK

  8. Everybody goes through the stages you have described, but how many of us can stay away from these things, maybe a few of us may take well deserved break, while others would continue doing what makes them feel happy, and some would be back after their break.
    At least today we have so many choices, one can choose to go with the flow or move away from the flow, we always have a choice.
    Yes these networking thing is not for everyone, one must be aware of one’s priorities, and make a matured choice.
    For me when it becomes addictive , I tell myself I could lose a few pounds exercising instead of wasting precious time in FB/ blogs/ Flickr etc.

    • Yes, many of us just go with the flow till we are spending most of our waking time sitting on the internet. Luckily, it never got that bad for me ever. But, I want to wean myself off and like you pointed out do something more constructive. As it is, I have a lot of work so it would help to cut off this purely wasteful activity.

  9. Agree with you completely!! For me the only addictive thing on FB is FV!! Somehow, all these social networking sites, actually alienate you from the real world!

    • Yep and that is why I removed it a long time ago :). Yes, they alienate you from the real world and sometimes a stray word or comment can have long-term implications too.

  10. I’ve been slowly getting to the end of my FB tolerance too…so as they say in my home land…everything new is new for 3 days, then forgotten. I guess FB and I simply grew apart…haha

  11. I never had an FB or a twitter account. No time, no interest I guess. I like “real life” better πŸ™‚

  12. yeah the addiction sets in and the de-addiction follows quickly too – at least sooner or later. the time away from it is really necessary otherwise, yeah like you wrote very well there, it all boils down to showing off. i still find all these – FB, twitter – fun maybe because i spend very less time on it. ‘open, check, close’ ritual basically. blogging is where a huge chunk of my time goes in.

    very nicely written post because you covered it from so many angles

    • So, your ritual is balanced and that is how all this makes sense. I have decided that I will only login once into FB and twitter. Emails are my lifeline, as I am online when I work, but I am adding filters to keep away obnoxious elements from my mailbox especially those belonging to mailing lists.

      Thanks dear :).

  13. The case is same here also. I started social networking with orkut. At that time it was so addictive. To tell the truth, majority of my friends were those whom I met in communities..Now I am, as you mentioned, facing a kind of addiction to FB. yeah, blogging and YouTube, twitter, etc also r there..

  14. To some points i whole heartedly agree.sometimes some comments bring unnecessary tension in our life..so I have also started going to those blogs only where i will find something interesting to read, because reading is addictive to me and always opens my eyes…secondly i read many, but not always comments,and i nevr bother about the no of comments i get..to me a few like minded people are better than a whole lot of …

    • Yes, I know Renu. I left some heated comments on some controversial topics on your blog too. But, I realized how futile doing that is. Yes, we will eventually only read what or whom we want to read. Some people are great at going across multiple blogs and reading everything. I just don’t have it in me. I am always open to reading exciting posts, but I wish to stay away from negativity.

  15. Good, I am not addicted to nay one of the sites.I visit FB oncew a day,Twitter three times a day and read blogs for about an hour.
    I dont get emotional,i dont react to any unparliamentry language.
    It is we who decideded to joinn these sites,without any external pressure.Hence,decisions are ours

    • Absolutely, I aspire to spend that much time too and no more like you do. I agree about the language bit too. I don’t intentionally try to hurt anyone or use bad language. I think that is in real bad taste. Another very useful site is LinkedIn; it is very helpful professionally. Surely, the decision is ours to make the best out of social networking and not letting it dictate our lives.

  16. Can;t agree more. as adults we are very childish. x comments on Y’s pic but not on Z’s pic.I wonder how it would be if we have dislike button on FB

    That having said, I got my job thro linkedin. so its up to us how we use the internet.

    • Yes, LinkedIn is really wonderful to be on. It is focused and all you have to do is connect with someone for them to have your whole professional life in front of them. And, it is not time consuming at all. That I like the best about it.

  17. we are forever adding friends , even ones we met only in school, or colleagues that sit next to you in office. I had this guy in office, with whom I did one proj, he sends FB request and follows up on me accepting the request πŸ™‚

    IN real life, would you persue some one for friendship like that, So as we share, we need to exercise caution on what we share and how we share,. these days am cautious to use the custom option where I select my thoughts with custom few. There are jealous people out there.

    That having said, i am the one that posts the most I guess and trying hard to kick the habit.

    • Yes, very rightly so. We are adding just about anyone on our profiles to have more friends. I use a lot of privacy settings to protect whatever little privacy I have left over FB. And, I have become more careful on the blog too though I have already put out a lot about myself. Yes, there are jealous people or those not really wishing you well. And any such information in their hands can be dangerous. We really need to wake up to many dangers of being in the virtual world.

  18. A lovely post Rachna!As for anything in life, a heady balance is what is just needed to keep sailing on an even keel!