I woke up this morning to the news of the actress Sridevi dying last night. It was sudden and so unexpected. Like many others, I actually thought that it must be a hoax which it wasn’t. The entire day passed by with a heavy heart. It is like a part of my childhood went along with her, like someone dear to me had been taken away. There is something about movie stars and how they light up our screens so much so that we feel close to them, as if we knew them up, close and personal.

I remember writing a post on her movie English Vinglish when I watched it with my kids a few years back. What outstanding acting! I am sure so many of us related with her performance. I have yet to watch Mom that released last year. But today, I watched Chaalbaaz with the kids. They had immensely enjoyed Mr. India and liked this one as well. Just one of the ways to handle the disquiet and emotional loss that we feel, to somehow relive them through celluloid.

Pic coutesy: NDTV.com

But, it was more than a fan’s loss.  What impacted me more about her demise was at the level of a mother. With two daughters who are so young, one of them a teen, I could almost understand what they lost. The death of a parent is a loss that one finds hard to deal with at any age. But it is more so when the person goes away at such a young age, unexpectedly, when they had not even enjoyed everything that life had to offer.

How do you reconcile with it? It is not fair for sure. You needed them for more time, much more time. So many memories in your life will be created without them in it. I know! I lost my mother when she was 52. It was 17 years ago and the pain while blunted with the passage of time still ebbs and flows. Celebrations, losses or just plain vanilla days, I reach out to her and think how it would have felt to have her in them. I remember a few years back when I was really sick, I held on to her memory for solace. That is the hold loving mums have on us and our lives.

I do so many things to honour my mother’s memories. I enjoy cooking just like she did. I recreate so many of the dishes she loved as it makes me feel close to her. I share many stories of their ‘nani’ with the kids because they never met her. I can only imagine the joy she would have experienced had she lived to witness their births, see them growing up. All those thoughts swirled in my mind when I heard of Sridevi’s death. A mere actor, she impacted all of us with her brilliant acting. And we will miss her. But we have her movies to compensate for her loss.

The people in her life – her family, relatives and costars will feel the raw loss of losing her so suddenly. Her daughters will have it tough, no doubt. As a mother, I feel in pain for them.

Every such story of loss of a young life that  I read makes me think about the uncertainty of life. We don’t really know for sure, do we? As morbid as it sounds, who knows whose time is up when? It is yet another nudge for all of us to pay attention to the big picture. To live our lives in a way that makes us happy and content.

And to count our blessings every single day. To hug our near and dear ones a big longer and say a prayer so that we continue to remain happy and healthy in each other’s lives.

Losing you is really sad, Sridevi. You were a brilliant actor who is a role model for many actresses in India today. May you rest in peace. May the Almighty give your family the courage to bear this loss.

17 Thoughts on “Why Sridevi’s Death Felt So Personal?

  1. Hugs Rachna. You’ve said it so well, so much better than anyone else could have.

    I can understand how this loss must have felt personal to you.

    I have no words today. All of them seem to have evaporated into the ether at this news. Just sending you tons of hugs and lots of love as you stay close to your family and also cherish the memories of your mom.

  2. For me, it is like losing a childhood friend. I’ve grown up with her, watching her as a child star, then a young teen and then, the lovely woman she grew into. So many memories, so much nostalgia. I just felt shattered. Always a bit of a scare when someone who looks healthy, and is almost the same age suddenly passes away. May her family have the strength to bear this terrible loss.

  3. Nicely written and I could feel it has come from your heart.Any sudden loss of life at young age when least expected is shattering and more so for the near and dear. She had endeared herself to the masses all over the country through her long and brilliant acting.

  4. I feel your pain Rachna. Completely. I’ve been feeling the same the entire day. And having lost my mother just this month what you write resonates and like how.
    Each moment is precious and each person who matters to us is. So in this journey of life we all need to care a little more, hug a lot more, love that extra bit and let go of any little grudges whatsoever. Who knows when our time will be up and the clock will stop.
    Sending you very big warm hugs and loads of love and light. xoxoxo
    Take good care ❤️

  5. Such a loss. She went too early but death is never welcome. I am a big Sridevi fan.
    So sorry for your lost, I cannot imagine it but I send you a big loving hug.

  6. Sridevi’s passing away did seem oddly personal. And I wasn’t even such a huge fan. Perhaps because it was so sudden or because, like you, I related to her as a mum and feel for her children and for all the things she won’t be there for.

  7. It was a big shock as one of my friends had messaged me at 7am in the morning full of shock. I even shed a tear thinking about a life snubbed so early. It was a sad day and a huge loss to filmdom. But the greatest loss is to her young daughters. May God give them strength in this difficult time.

  8. Hugs, Rachna!

    It’s sad that life is so transient. And losing a parent is nothing short of an earthquake the debris of which will haunt you always. I, perhaps, feel one can never let a parent go, at least from our self-imagined conversations with the air thinking it’s with the parent whose body left the earth. I can feel your pain when you bring your mom into your memories & sadden at the fact that she couldn’t live to see your sons.

    At times, even as I’m away from my parents by a few miles, when in solitude, a few pleasant childhood memories & conversations at teenage cross my mind, a few tears trickle & soak me up.

    It’s true; we need to love our children EVERY moment. We may or may not wake up to the next day’s alarm. Sridevi, I feel, is lucky to have been all hale & hearty till the end to have enjoyed a perfect life with her husband & daughters. A sudden death might have taken her away from everybody, but her version on celluloid will live forever & her bit of parenting will continue to reflect in her daughters.

    What we must learn from her death is that no matter how healthy, beautiful or young we are, it’s sometimes HIS order that we will have to bow down to. So as long as we’re breathing, we must love each other, stop gossiping, hold no grudges, stop postponing nice plans for the ‘future’, & most of all, DIE DOING WHAT WE LOVE. So if a 9 to 5 job smothering you throughout the day is what you love doing, so be it.

    Carpe Diem!

  9. Strange I can’t find my comment.

    I was shocked too to hear this news. My whole childhood was about Sridevi’s dance moves, her naagin movies, the bright eyes and her humorous roles. She and Madhuri are still favorite actresses.
    It’s so heartwarming to read about your mom and how you are keeping her memories alive. Take care Rachna.

  10. Loved to know abut how you are keeping your mom alive for yourself and your kids in the food you make and the stories you tell – its indeed a very loving dedication to her and your memories of her.

    Sridevi’s death has become a sordid quagmire, thanks to the news channels and yellow journalism. Her loss is too sudden and unexpected – I have been watching her movies these days on the TV to cope the loss.

    I loved her in Mr India, Chalbaaz and then Lamhe – off what vitality she projected! Her EnglishVinglish was a stunning performance; sad to know there will be no more now!

    Hugs to you Rachu!!!

  11. You know, I waited all day for the news to turn out to be a hoax. Somehow I am yet to come to terms with it. Until I see her body, I would not be able to believe it. My heart goes out to her young daughters. I can’t believe their mother passed away even before they made their debuts.

    The way the media is playing around with this news is heart breaking as well. I can’t believe some people can stoop so low.

    The loss is personal for all of us, yes.

  12. Same here. I came to know about her demise just a few minutes after the news broke out, and i left whatever i was watching on TV to check what really had happened.

    It still feels so personal as i am tracking the aircraft movements (about to touch down in Mumbai). We can just thank her for her efforts and contributions to our lives.

  13. I think even when we don’t know someone, we can always relate to something in terms of their death. It sounds like Sridevi’s death was very personal to you and it might feel like re-experiencing the grief all over again.

    This was a beautifully written post and big hugs to you.

  14. Just my thoughts, Rachna! Her daughters have been on my mind since the time I heard about her death. Those girls are so young, just beginning life, at an age when they need her by their side, guiding them, supporting them, encouraging them. A father can never take the place of a mother, is what i feel. Today, at the age of 45, I can’t imagine a day without talking to my mom..I really wonder how those little girls will face life without their’s!

  15. Srideviji has become such a huge part of our lives and impacted so many of us. I feel for her young daughters who lost a doting and caring mother. It’s a personal loss and will take days, months and years to get over what she has been. I cried so much yesterday. How she became a huge part of my growing years!

  16. Sridevi was a part of our growing years. She was an amazing actress and her comic timing was perfect. Her death was truly shocking. She went too soon!

  17. I have no words to say about her she was one of the greatest Inspiration for us


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