She was walking home after a particularly grueling day at work. Her mind was unsettled due to a particularly bad session with her boss. Just then two men passed by and made some lecherous comments. At other times, she would not have reacted. But today, tears streamed down her eyes — tears of rage and frustration.
She rang the doorbell and was greeted by the cheerful “woof, woof” of her dog. It instantly lifted her mood. She bent down and petted him and walked to the kitchen where mom was busy preparing snacks for the evening. Ah, mum’s cooking. What can get better than that! She quickly picked up the pakoras and sat down chatting up with mom and relishing her tea and hot pakoras. Life suddenly felt better. Mom with a long face started telling her about a tiff she had with a neighbor. Before she could tell her clearly, she was howling loudly, those theatrical sobs! She loved her mom but hated her tears. Why was it not possible for her to have a decent conversation without dissolving into tears? It frustrated her no end. She got up and went away unable to face her mother in this mode — her snacks forgotten.
Dad was just walking in. He sat down after freshening up and switched on the television. Mom had forgotten her tears and was sober once more. It had always amazed her how her mother could switch moods so quickly just like a chameleon :). Dad looked a wee bit worried. He did not say anything, but she could judge from her father’s demeanor that something was bothering him. It was only some time later that she came to know that her paternal grandfather had suffered a massive heart attack. Oh, so that was the cause of dad’s worry! Mom went into her crying fit once more while the two of them sat around helplessly not knowing what to do. Grandpa passed away early morning. None of them could catch any sleep during the night. Dad took the news just like he took everything else in his life — without tears. Her heart went out to her dad. If only, he could cry and take it all out!
Pic courtesy: freedigitalphotos.net/akeeri’s portfolio
PS: This is not my story. It was my attempt at writing a short story about one topic.
Rachna,
There is so much practicality in this. We are often blamed for shedding tears at the drop of the hat. Its not a weapon but a medicine to heal us.
Keeping any worry, anger within spoils our health, mood more and we harbor hatred and vengeance. Just cry it out; the next moment one feels so relieved.
Correct, I totally agree with Insignia, and I wrote a similar reply as a comment on Bikram’s blog too. Just let it out and feel the relief, from the bottom of our souls.
BTW, is it a story or did it really happen to someone you know?
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Well Rachna, it is good to emote.Crying comes very naturally to women,while it may not be as much with the men even at time of grief.They prefer to remain stoic.But anyway, tears rolling down my cheeks through anger or grief may be my effeminate trait. I do have chameleon tendencies too, in moods and the colouration of my face in respect to the same. Just felt like sharing this.Your posts are always so reflective and connects with your readers.This is why I sometimes feel like among few of my blog buddies, I know you personally. I suggest that yo write a book in the future- a collection of such keyed/penned thoughts. Sorry had to delete my original post coz of a blooper 🙂
@Insignia Yes, it is a medicine when tears are shed judiciously; some women do use them as weapons too. I completely agree that it is better to let out the worry, fear, insult, insecurity in the form of tears than to bottle it up inside and feel light and relieved.
@Rama Yeah, but it is really really difficult for men to do. They have been brought up and conditioned by the society in a different way. Even when they want to they can’t.
This is sum of experiences around me. It did happen.
@Basil Thank you for your detailed comment. I am happy that you like my thoughts and writing. I don’t think of crying as an effeminate trait at all. It is actually quite courageous and liberating, and to grieve only confirms that one is human. I hope to write a book some day too. Thanks for the thumbs up!
“Tears are the safety valve of the heart when too much pressure is laid on it.”
Sometimes they also come out of happiness when we are not able to express ourselves in words.
its a rare sight – d image – a man shedding copious tears! they shud learn to however. its a healer
research says more men die of heart attacks than women. mayb this is 1 reason – bottled up emotions
…I agree with insignia..
sometimes tears are best medicine for healing!
the emotions are so profound to hold them is like unnecessarily spoiling the health!
@kavita So true! It is totally a release mechanism of the body when too much builds up inside.
@sujatha Truly, this must be one of the reasons apart from the drinking and the smoking :). Actually, I wanted to put up a pic of a man crying because a woman crying is no big deal.
@Harman Yep, we all agree on this. I wonder what the boys think!
Its a sure cure to relieve oneself of any emotional stress
I know how it feels to loose a parent and sometimes it does not happen, as i wrote being a MAN sometimes is a bane..
I could not as I had so much to do suddenly everything was revolving around me , papers , property, relations, this and that ..
We all say its good to cry this and that get it out BUT HOW is the question sometimes it doesnot ..
in my case i was more worried about my mum and my sis, so taking care of them i could not break down ..
your dad well he is looking at your mum…
I dont know thats why i wrote at my post is something wrong with me ..
Bikram’s
@BKC It sure is!
@Bikram I understand what you went through. I know it is difficult to those who have been told to not show emotion in public to start crying. It is also difficult if the man of the family breaks down because who will be strong for the others. But, the women will derive strength even if the males cry. They don’t become less strong in any way by showing their grief. It is there in the heads of the men not in the thinking of the women. And, if not in public, at least cry privately. The aim is to let the tears come out, as they help you in grieving and help healing too. There is nothing wrong with you. In our lives, there are so many times when we know what we must do but just cannot do it. Just understand that if not publicly crying privately helps release bottled emotions. Try it sometime.
Neglecting someone’s tears could be worse than not crying at all…
As in evrything here also one must have a balance..keeping too much inside is really bad for health, but then crying at small things is also very irritating.
My Dad was always very stoic when were kids but in later life he could become quite morose – maybe they need more time to let themselves go.
@NRIGirl Tears can be very irritating when people have a habit of shedding them at the drop of a hat. Such tears have to be ignored. I hate such cry babies.
@Renu 100% agree with you. I also really get bugged when someone cries just for the heck of it.
@Jane Maybe they do.
Shedding tears on every minor incident is not right. Also I don’t know if tears are medicines. It is a cultural too. Crying is more common in India as compared to other countries I lived. So we cannot conclude.
But scientist agree that talking about grief (we are talking real issue (loss of loved) here – not a tiff with neighbor)helps to deal better. In Indian culture crying gets the attention.
@A Crying at every small thing is not good. This stereotype of Indian women crying is really bugging. But, I do feel that tears are healing especially when you are mourning a loss or something that you cannot really change. I lost my mom and though I cry rarely, that was a time when crying helped me cope. Only those who try the power of tears will know about its healing qualities. Indian men most often hold back thinking it is not macho. Talking helps too. These two work in conjunction.
Insignia has exactly expressed my sentiments.
You really a good writer Rachna, you really “connect” 🙂