Ah, if there is a leak somewhere, something is broken, or if something has to be fixed, I am in a fix. Sometimes, a software does not work or the computer just gives up on me. I try the normal shut down, reboot, check connections route, yet the damn thing does not seem to respond to anything. I have to seek my husband’s help who makes it look like child’s play. Plumbing, carpentry, electrical work is something I never had an inclination for or an understanding of. I always considered it a male’s domain, and my husband never fails to give an exasperated, superior male look when he fixes a seemingly difficult task in a jiffy :).
I wonder if all women feel as incapable as I do in such situations. Another area where I face problems is with cars. I have been driving for more than 13 years now, but my knowledge of cars is very rudimentary. What is it about machines, which fazes me? Show any woman a plethora of wires and batteries, and she is likely to go into a trauma situation :). Something as simple as changing a flat tire is difficult for me. I also struggle with directions myself while driving though I am a good navigator. If I veer from a known route to a certain place, I have to reset my coordinates 🙂 to take in the new information. Is it something with my wiring or am I meant to be naturally inept at these tasks, I often wonder!
Pic courtesy: Andy Newson
I guess people just are this way.
Work with hands need some kind of hability, some kind of perspective I think and it changes with the necessity you have in each moment.
It is similar with the capacity to draw in my view. When I pick up a piece of paper and a pencil and tries do draw something the result is shameful. But another person, with the gift to draw and the same objects, is able to do wonders just because he has a different perspective to look at that.
It’s just a question of ability.
Or you develop it till some moment of your life, the early ages I guess, or you won’t have it after because your mind went to other way.
However, I belive that if you really need know something, as a matter of surviving, you will learn it even if you do not have any kind of skill.
And I thought it was only me…
I agree with the superior look too 🙂
But then I don’t fail to give the same look when he is in trouble in the kitchen 😀
We can’t be perfect in everything. We are good at getting the work done 😉 Be it by saying ‘We don’t know’ or saying ‘You are the best’. Bottom line is that work is done. I would love to have that superior look if my hubby does that all 🙂 On a serious note – Women are better in planning and co-ordinating whereas men are better in leadership and engineering (of any kind).. I guess….
Actually I think it’s sometimes a question of necessity. For instance, I’m not an artist and will never be. But many years ago, I took a friend to a painting workshop and with the help of a teacher, we each proceeded to paint a 60x40cm picture which looked awesome. I thought I couldn’t paint but then I put myself in a position where I had to try anyway. And only barely succeeded, but still the result was there 🙂
For me it’s just the opposite…i am totally at sea when it comes to doing any masculine works..even tightening screws.
I think is some fear/inhibition in me…
There are single women who are dman good in stuffs like drivibg. I have got an aunty here whose hubby is abroad
Man…the way she burns the tyres!!!
@David Some things really are inherent. Sometimes exposure makes a difference too. For example, if you have been seeing or involved in doing these tasks since you were little, then it is easier for you to grasp an understanding. In these things, hands-on experience goes a long way. And, of course, as you pointed, necessity is the mother of invention. If it comes to actually requiring to doing it on an essential basis, I am sure I would be able to do it rather well.
@bbsearchingself :). I know, there are a lot of areas where I have a program running to give automatic, smug looks not just in the kitchen :).
@manika I like what you said about getting work done by hook or by crook, threatening or cajoling :). Though, I do agree that women are better at planning, coordinating, socializing, and men definitely at engineering, I would say women make great leaders. Leadership is not the domain of men.
@Bart Exactly. It is a question of necessity. If I really have to do it, I know I would be able to. Maybe, not with interest but I would be. The reason that I have someone to bank upon makes me lazy :). I’ve noticed that both you and David used the example of painting. Is it really that difficult? I remember my brother making modern art for his biology diagrams though my son makes beautiful diagrams making me really proud :).
@Jon Ok, really? I have come across very few guys who are not good at these things. Maybe, you need to just immerse yourself in it, and let your natural instincts take over. Oh, and I am a damned good driver myself. I just do not understand the wiring of cars very well except the sheer basics.
Ha – my ineptitiude has inspired you!
I am fine with wiring – and computers (I work on one all day) it was the lack or the basic knowledge of plumbing which infuriated me. I think if I can thread a sewing machine I should be able to work out where a leak is coming from and deal with it. As for cars – I have such a lack of interest that it’s embarassing.
@Jane Indeed, you have inspired me ;-). I work on the computers all day long too. I drive very well as well. But, that does not mean that I understand machines as well as I do say human beings ;-).
Most men are quite good in fixing things, however I know some women who are really good in fixing things and are also good in cooking and other lady like activities.I am always inspired by such talented women, who seem to know almost everything.
For me my husband would offer to cut vegetables, offer to cook and almost everything he would do as long he is free, when he is not free I end up doing the things i am supposed to do.
But since he enjoys doing things around the house I let him do it and just relax as much as possible.
So I suppose just being inspired by the talented women I know, is not enough.
I think if your husband can handle things for you why crib about not being able to handle it yourself, just enjoy and thank God for the little joys in life.
For me both sexes are very good in their own type of works. So there are things that my wife will be easily and I’ll get stuck and vice versa. 🙂
Well nothing is difficult , jsut do it i would say .. you may mess up the first time but the next time it happens you know what you are doing simple ..
though i do beleive about CARS .. I am not a sexist or anything but i think ladies panic very easy and thats when they make mistakes ..
Bikram’s
Surprisingly my wife is great with some of these things except for software. She can repair kids toys, broken door handles, cycle chain. I guess I am just lucky. She troubles me only with things related to computer/applications.
@rama Of course, I am not cribbing and am actually quite proud that he is there to take care of these things. He also cooks well when he is in the mood :). I was just wondering if this is something common with all women.
@Talha Yes, most of us are good in a lot of areas, but I don’t really think that work is demarcated that broadly in today’s times. For eg. I go out and do a lot of things and my husband is comfortable in the kitchen too.
@Bikram Nothing is difficult, sometimes one leaves it because someone else is there to handle it. As it is, I have so many things on my plate, anyway. As far as cars are concerned, I feel women are in general cautious drivers. Though, most men would turn around and say that women are bad drivers. But, here I am not talking about driving but the knowledge of cars. Here men score more than women for sure.
@Prasad N Good for you! My mother-in-law is good with repairs too. I had a more privileged upbringing and mostly never got an opportunity to handle these areas. Not that I miss doing them :).
don’t leave trying at least… you may not do for few occasions but a time will come when you will be able to do so many of them, if not all….
so, must give a try, and start from zero.
all the best….
I am not sure about other women, but mom is pretty good at these things maybe except at computers.
But why don’t look at the positives- like kitchen
@Irfanuddin Actually, I am not leaving it. I observe keenly and am better placed than before. Hopefully, will be more adept with passing time :).
@Vijay Well, I am good at so many things that I would not worry much about these minor areas. Good for your mom though.
Kalpana chawla, kiran bedi
just depends on opportunity and parents
Ahh! One thing I can boast about myself wrt MR…I’m the fixer at home.
I think its what we feel at ease in the end. Growing up in a handyman home has made this of me and not having this in his (MR’s) home has wired him that way.
Sometimes, need teaches us too. Which is why he is getting better at it.
Nothing compares with Raju. He survived his dad..fixing bathroom sinks and dismantling geysers and cleaning all that gunk and then assembling them back. He played with all the circuits from Dad’s treasure cove and constructing cement structures and some carpentry too 🙂
Yes..and not to forget that every weekend..dad would also have his scooter dismantled for Raju to fix it back, to remove the water from the carborator, that tiny metallic box.
Surely has given me a lot of memories back of Raju and Dad.
@sm Totally agree, depends on opportunity and interest too.
@Gayatri MR? I know only of Market Research :). True, it is all about necessity and opportunity. The other day, we were discussing that I had never used quickfix in my house. My dad had so many people at his disposal that there was never any requirement for us to do these things. So, naturally we never were hands on with these things. Dad also was not much inclined in teaching stuff like about cars etc. You could call him an exact opposite of dad-in-law. Yet, he gave us the right attitude to learn things if required. Though, there are a lot of things that I have learnt along the way, these things frankly don’t interest me much. I am happy to let G handle them and quite proud of the way he manages them so effortlessly. If push comes to shove, I am sure that I will be able to manage doing them :). As far as the sense of direction goes, mine is still better than most other women I know :).
good post dear…. nice blog
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its natural i guess:P same things happent to me as well
Out of necessity or just because I have it, being capable of handling all kind of situations (left or right brain intended) has not made my life easier. In fact, it has made it more dificlut on the long run. Yes, I know how to check the oil and change the airfilter on the car, I can change my flat tire, and…(don’t laugh!) I love dealing with electric wires and such – I can fix a heater, outlet, etc. At the same time I cook, love interiour design, performed well (or so I think!) at wife’s duties (when I was married)…But at the end of the day I wish I was at least half as capable – because then you seek help, you seem more feminine, more vulnerable, you get attention, someone shows care, and it simply feels good! Doesn’t it? And the ‘helper’ feels he is needed – and that feels good too!
I agree to your points .I think very few woman would be interested in electronics ,plumbing ,wires ,machinery etc.I wonder how woman take up mechanical civil engineering and some other branches..!
Meanwhile ,I loved IGBG’S comeents there.Sometimes I too pamper myself by asking my hubby to open a sack of rice (as if it was a big deal),fix up some screws ,move a furniture even though I would be able to do it myself.
Hi Manpreet. Thank you for visiting my blog and for your sweet words.
@Asma Welcome to my blog! So, you seem to fall into my category 🙂
@IGBG And, this is the most interesting view I have heard this far. Really, you make a lot of sense. Come to think of it, I need to be needed too in certain areas and would feel bad if that was taken away from me. So, yes, it does give us a sense of mutual satisfaction in these situations. And, why should I struggle because the husband and wife are supposed to complement each other. Still it is admirable that you handle everything well.
@Raji I sometimes wonder that too :). I loved Maths and Chemistry– my major, yet civil and mechanical engineering seem really far-fetched to me. And, yes I do that too. Sometimes, things that can be done by me easily are also handled by hubby. I also love it when he cooks for me, makes tea or does something to help. That makes me really very happy.
lol i like this… very well said
Ha, interesting. I think I can fix ANYTHING. Of course, sometimes my “fix” is synonymous with paying someone to fix it.
That’s true. Most men are able to handle machineries and technical issues well. But when it comes to my case, I think, it is then my faminine side comes into prominence..
@emily 🙂
@Agnes Okay, that sort of fixing is what I normally indulge in ;-).
@Tomz I see, so are you not good at machines?