What a pain! Driving on non-existent roads to travel to a part of city that was still far from civilization. I remember driving here on Wednesdays while the weekend we did it together. Week after week for months on end, till the concrete, glass and pillars emerged into the shape of a home. Slowly, painstakingly. The excited shopping for tiles, for each basket that went in the kitchen woodwork, each fan and light with a very bored toddler in tow was an adventure in itself. The stuff we have to do to build our houses!

It was a novel experience for me, a person  who had always lived in rented houses, shunting from one accommodation to another as dad was in a transferable government job. No niceties there as we tried best to make a home out of random houses. No customizations were done as we shuttled sturdy Godrej almirahs, beds and sofas till some of them gave way during the long journeys by trucks. Since the walls everyplace had choona or white/cream look, everything fitted everyplace, well almost.

Coming back to this house in Bangalore which has been home for almost a decade now. A beautiful oasis where we got a tiny lawn and a large terrace to experiment with. Where my younger son was born and the youngest one, Coco, followed him a few years later. Where we went from a young couple with a toddler to being uncle and aunty to grown up neighborhood kids who tower above us. The house charmingly stood testimony to beautiful birthdays, anniversaries, random happy celebrations, laughter and joy. Where we embarked upon new personal and professional journeys, where we fought tooth and nail and then made up passionately. Where I learned and experienced the joy of growing food and raising a family. This house has made me fall in love with this lovely city. Bangalore is home now!

And slowly as it happens with everything else, you take your home for granted. It is there; it is not going away. Till yesterday. Now that we are planning to shift houses to be closer to the husband’s workplace, we did some househunting. One particular one yesterday was airy and quite large. But, what hit me as soon as I entered it is how beautiful my current home is. I don’t know if it is hormones or what that made me feel emotional instantly and sad. Sad because I will be leaving this home the husband and I built with such happiness and love. No, it will still be ours but we will go live elsewhere in a few months. And, I know that I somehow never go back to the home I’ve left.

As much as I know myself, I have never felt attached to homes and places, having been to so many in my lifetime but this home is special. I am sure the next house will be spectacular too because home is after all made with the people who live in it. Yet, I felt gratitude and pride when I walked back into this home yesterday. I know I will leave it with a heavy heart soon. But, it will always be a cherished abode for all of us.  Mixed feelings, huh!

So to drown my sorrows, we bought a large pack of donuts. Nothing like a sugary, sinful treat to cheer your Sunday. 😀

So how was your weekend? Do you feel sentimental about homes too?

55 Thoughts on “Home-ly tales

  1. You’re moving? Where to?
    Coming back to the topic, I understand, Rachna. Though I’ve never ‘owned’ a property myself (I’ve been nomadic all through my life and hence home is quite literally where I am), I have seen plenty of people experience this. It’s a oddly surreal feeling I suppose, leaving a place that you call home and having to move. Good luck! I’m sure that you’ll settle in just fine.

    • Luckily within Bangalore for now. 🙂 PMed you.

      Yep, a nomad I am as well. But these last 10 years in my home has made me grow roots I guess. Besides the comfort of having a settled life gives you inertia to pack up and move again. Packing is giving me nightmares too. 🙂 That it is a few months away is some comfort though. I know I will like it in the new place. Change is good, I guess. It feels bittersweet though. Thanks for caring.

  2. I can totally understand. Many memories are associated with homes we build or buy with hard earned money. Felt similar pangs when we sold off moms Lucknow bungalow to buy an apartment for her here in Gurgaon. And similar feelings when we left our Gurgaon abode to move to Bangalore. Not easy to explain the feeling in words. One just feels it. It’s intangible.
    Hope and wish that your new abode brings lots of happiness, peace and success. Love.

    • So true, Alka. It feels silly especially since I’ve moved so much. But, I guess this rooted existence of the past decade is making it more difficult or the fact that this is the first house I owned. Thanks for all your wishes.

  3. Awww, how sweet and I completely agree and empathise with that feeling, Rachna. Home is where the heart is , isn’t it? To make it out of brick and mortar and love and sweat is an incredible feeling. But, knowing you, it will be a different home but the same you. So don’t worry. Hold on to the memories and make new ones, vibrant ones that will stand side by side with this one, every single day 🙂 Much love to you and as I told you, please reach out if you need any help whatsoever 🙂

    • Oh absolutely, Shy. A part of my heart will certainly live here, I guess. Yes, I am freakishly adaptable. In some manner I look forward to living in an Apartment too, again. Yet, the feeling is bittersweet. Thank you so much for your warmth and love. 🙂

  4. Oh…I can so relate to this post. When we left our home in Hyd and shifted to Chennai, the feelings were mostly of missing our home. And over a period of time, we got over that, as they rightly say time heals !
    ((Hugs)) Rachna…wishing you loads of happiness in your new home too !

  5. Beautiful memories of the home you have shared here. Yes, a house is built by brick and stones, but a home is built by heart and memories ( or so the poem goes).

    But with distances and traffic so bad in today’s Bangalore I can understand your husband’s plight… and how difficult it is to move from where you have grown roots over years

    • Thanks, Prasad. And thank you for understanding the plight of the husband. Bangalore really suffers due to a lack of a reliable mass rapid transit system. Till that time, we will have to pick our bags and move closer to our places of work. Luckily, the areas are all self sufficient hence one can become comfortable in no time. Yes, I’ve grown roots here. A part of them will remain here even as I uproot myself.

  6. We are often taken by surprise by our own feelings. Sure people make a home but a house becomes human after you’ve lived there long enough. I still miss ‘my room’ in ‘my house’, the swing in the verandah on which I would sit and study for hours and the kadamb tree under which I got married – even though it was owned by the University. Each time I go home I insist we drive through the campus past the house. You made me all nostalgic. Now tell me did the donuts help? I need to head out for some!

    • Ah, Tulika! Your comment brought back older and fonder memories for me as well. Yes, feelings surprise you. I was, quite. I love how you said that the house becomes human. It really seems to. Well, I guess, I will mope for a while and then move on with life. But the memories are always there to go back to.

      The donuts and the movie sure helped. 🙂

  7. Where are you moving to Rachna?

    and as for the feelings I can understand… I feel so attached to our flat when it’s only been 2 years in it…Even when S finds faults with our flat I get so defensive and angry, after all it’s our first home, our home..I cannot imagine leaving it ever… But who knows what the future holds..

  8. I can understand, Rachna. Some houses are made with so much care and love, where memories are carved within. Now, I can see my parents perspective when I would say never be emotionally attached. But, I am sure it’s a new journey in your new home.

  9. I can relate to some of what you say here about moving to a new home. One thing my husband and I realised when we were trying to sell our house in the US (a house we had owned and lived in for almost 9 years) when moving to India was that it is not that we alone are attached to our homes, our homes are also attached to us. So that attachment also has to go 🙂

    I am sure you will soon make your new residence your ‘home’ too, for you and your family. Good luck with the move, the packing, and everything. In a way, new beginnings are also exciting!

    • Yes, new beginnings are exciting for sure. But they often have a tinge of sadness attached to them. I guess that is the nature of life, and we have to embrace it.

  10. We have been changing our rented home always since last 4 years after getting married. Haven’t lived for more than an year anywhere. But still there is that special kind of memories that we make and the feeling of comfort that we have once we get back home after a trip. Inside the 4 walls..its the place where we can be ourselves!!

    Hope you surely get to make those same beautiful memories again in your new home too…. 🙂 Like you said…it is a home because of the ones who live in it….

  11. I can relate to this, Rachna. We moved to our own house 12 years back. But still the rented house where I spent almost 15 years of my life, haunts me and every time I see that house I feel an inexplicable pain. A home is built with a lot of memories, love, and laugh…. which are not easy to forget.

    • Thanks, Maniparna, for sharing your experience and understanding my angst. Of course, nothing in life is a constant. Yet, the old places and things cannot be discarded that easily.

  12. I feel emotional even while leaving a hotel room where I have stayed for more than 4 days! I think it is the memories we create and the warmth we feel from those around us that make us feel sad when we leave. What we should always remember is that new things bring us new joy and create new memories. I am sure you will find happiness wherever you go!

    • Thanks, Nisha. What you say is true. I am sure the new home will become very dear soon. I guess the process of moving after so long is making me sentimental.

  13. This post reminds me so much of Mom. Having moved many houses, I have seen her growing attached to a place … even though for a shorter time. It’s hard when you think of all the memories that were created in that house, and now you have to let it go. But then, the new house is waiting for some more beautiful moments to be created.

    • How lovely that my post reminded you of your mother. I am sure my mother was similar. She made a home in every rented house that we stayed in. Yes, the bittersweet cycle of letting go and moving on. Thanks so much for reading, Rajlakshmi.

  14. Your new residence will give you many more beautiful memories.
    Best wishes and good luck.

  15. I can relate to your experience really well as I have seen my sister feeling the same while shifting . And the longer one stays the more is the attachment , specially if its an own house . However , with me it was always rented houses till Bangalore happened..Now Bangalore is home ..its hard to think how many donuts, ckes and sugary treats I/we have to consume in the above mentioned emergency !!

  16. Even if we move around a bit shifting accommodations, some places tend to feel so comfortable that we develop an emotional attachment with everything associated with the place. I guess each place has its vibe that we get very much used to.

  17. I am so nostalgic about the two homes I lived in,in Delhi that i find it difficult to express myself.They will always be a part of me.Was it the family,the ambiance,the life-style,the routines we followed there?It was all of this but also the trees and plants and the neighbors and so many other things.

  18. What?? you are moving from that colorful home where we are supposed to meet? And what happens to the Avocado tree? Tell the tenants to be careful with it.
    🙁 I have never owned a house all my life except the current one. Like you, moved many times…each time I think it won’t make any difference but with each move, a part of your heart remains at the old home. Hope you create many wonderful memories in your new place and you can always come back to this first home of yours for retirement may be 🙂
    My wknd was good. A friend closed on his house and got the keys…mom is here…attended a music show sung by kids and hosted by SP Balu. And the weather is crazyy hot. 😀

    • I will be moving next year. You can come down this year and we can meet in the same home. 🙂 Yeah, will miss the avocado tree and its fruits. Who knows what the future holds. Retirement plans? Abhi toh bahut door hai. 🙂

      The weather here is so beautiful.

  19. Well, Rachna, to lighten the mood, here is a bad joke: “Na ghar tere na ghar mera chidiyan raien basera.” 🙂

  20. Rachna one feels sentimental about places with happy memories. As you rightly said you can make the next home a happy one too where memories will get built and later cherished.

  21. My current home is my 10th in six years of marriage. Before that I lived in one house, that was a government accommodation provided to my mother. So, I have no attachments, but if I build a house and have as many memories as you have, then I would be really really attached to it.

    Anyway, we have to move on with life. And, happy moving to you. 🙂

    • I don’t have attachments for my childhood homes for the same reason that we moved around so much. But this house is special. And the first place where we stayed for so long. Thanks for the wishes, Saru.

  22. Well, it is different for us. While we own properties in Bombay, we have never lived there, nor do we intend to. Even when we go back home to India, we live with our parents to spend the most amount of time with them.

    As far as US goes, we have only rented so far. Hopefully there is a house of our own sometime in the near future. 🙂

    Good luck with your move. 🙂

    • Yes, I think being invested in the house in the sense that you have worked on each room and then spending a considerable number of years in that home makes one grow roots in it. Thanks for the wishes, Shantala. 🙂

  23. I can imagine. Must be so difficult to leave a house where you have lived for so long and have so many memories of it ! Best of luck for your house search.

  24. Your home sounds lovely and I can imagine how difficult it will be to leave it. There’s a lot of work involved though, especially if you have a lawn. That’s one advantage to an apartment. I’m sure you’ll have memorable times in your new place as well. Good luck with the move!

  25. I had the same feeling when we left Phoenix. Phoenix is my home though we have lived there only for 6 years. We started our married life there, had a kid, made tons of bitter-sweet memories. Since then we have been moving, from Phoenix to India to the UK back to India and again to another part of the UK. It is never going to be easy. The pain associated with leaving one place and making another one home.

  26. I can relate to this so much. There’s something magical and beautiful about seeing your own home take shape and form, brick by brick, wall by wall… and the joy of selecting the best for your home is an amazing feeling! We have seen our first flat in Mumbai come up right in front of us. Every weekend, we would climb up the six floors and look at the progress with pride. When we sold it off, it was as if a part of our heart was taken away from us! There are so many memories attached with our homes, it is but natural to feel nostalgic and emotional. Wishing you the very best for your new home and here’s to more beautiful and cherished moments at your new abode! ♥

    • Thanks so much, my dear. Yes, it does hurt and I am sure it will when we move out. But then I am sure that the adaptable me will move on and find happiness in the new abode.

  27. Oh I still remember the house I stayed in growing up. For 11 years that was my home, its such a vivid memory. Homes carry so much attachments with them. There is the corner where I broke my front tooth, and another where I feel and had the worst sprain of my life, The doorway where my brother had a bad fall. My favorite corner is where I spent days recuperating from Jaundice, and the cupboard where I hid the torch to read my book in the middle of the night. Seriously this post made me so nostalgic.

    But then like you said, home is made up of the people that live in it, so now we have been here for almost 9 years, and I love this place as much.

Do not leave without commenting. I love a good conversation :).

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