Mother’s Day is this Sunday. A day that is very special for every mother. We pat ourselves on the backs for doing our best for our kids. For me, Mother’s Day is doubly special as my older son was born on this day. So I became a mother on Mother’s Day. Being a mother has been one of the most cherished and fulfilling roles for me despite the angsts and challenges.
With the son when he was tiny 🙂
As you enter your 40s and your kids hit their teenage, there is a feeling of apprehension as they step into adulthood. Parents lose their grasp over the children’s thoughts as they emerge into new independent people. It is in a way desirable as well and logical too. Because we don’t own our children, not their lives, not their mindspaces.
To be a parent is freakishly tough. We have to be good and kind, sensible and sensitive, logical and motivating at all times. How difficult is that as we are flawed individuals ourselves. We have our off days. We have our glaring negative traits. We may be immature or impatient, short-tempered or opinionated. Yes, we are human. And of course, all our behaviours distill down to our kids as they observe and absorb like sponges. Like it or not, we are a huge influence on our children. The opinions we share at home, how we react to situations, how we react with them – everything gets stored in their DNA, sculpting their own persona. It is quite amazing how in many ways, children are so much a reflection of their parents, not only because of the genetics but also because of the behaviour they imbibe. It is scary too.
And hence when you see your child become a mature, thinking, well-mannered person, you can’t help but feel pride for it, for somewhere you have a tiny hand in it. At the same time, let us not give ourselves all the credit. We bring up two kids in the same house, having similar genes and environment and yet they turn out like chalk and cheese. Different passions, aptitudes and so very different in their opinions and attitudes. Why am I discussing this?
Son and I now
For one, the older son turns 16 today and it is Mother’s Day as well. There is a lot I’ve shared on this blog about him. To have been witness to his transformation into a confident young man and a friend has been something which feels surreal and in a way, a blessing. I guess the true reason why we became parents in the first place is to see life we have given take a beautiful and meaningful shape. It gives you a sense of achievement like no other. He is at the cusp of adulthood. He is pretty mature yet the child in him surfaces on many occasions. Especially when his younger brother gets his goat. 🙂 Over the years, he has seen me at my best and worst. He has been around to offer his sagely counsel when I am down. He is there to help and emotionally support me when I need it. He also critiques me when needed. People say you need women to understand women, for support and encouragement. Sometimes, it is the sons who do a great job as well. I am lucky in that regard.
I think his most admirable trait is that he is a young man with his own mind. A lot of people think that I influence his thought process. It’s actually not true. What is true is that many of our interest areas and opinions are aligned but purely because we think similarly on many things. We do have different opinions too. And that is something I love. To raise a child who weighs all sides and then forms his own opinion is something truly precious. Unlike many parents, I don’t want my kids to be clones of their parents. They should be our better versions. Hopefully, they’ve taken the best of both of us and added their own generous good qualities to it. In the older son’s case, I believe he has.
As he steps into a very important phase in his life, I hope that he always maintains this discerning disposition, that he stays the kind and sensitive person that he is with a goofy sense of humour and that bright smile that can light up any room.
Just like every parent, I want my child to perform to the best of his potential. But unlike other parents, I have no career I have pushed him into. One thing I know for sure is that he will sparkle in whatever he chooses. And in me he has a supporter he can always count on whether the chips are up or down.
Happy 16th, dear Sid. I wish that you get everything that destiny has in store for you and more. I am very proud of you for the person that you have turned out to be. You are my best Mother’s Day gift ever!
This made me feel all warm and mushy inside 🙂 What a perfectly beautiful letter to a strong and incredible young man.
Wishing him a very happy birthday and a very happy Mother’s day to you. Your children are your best gifts and may you always smile, be glad and proud of them. God bless, Rachna. Much love from me. 🙂
Thank you, Shailaja, for your lovely wishes!
what a lovely warm heartfelt post ! You must be so proud of him Today. A very very Happy Birthday to Sid and wishing him great adventures and lot’s of joy in the years ahead !
Thank you so much, Ruch!
This makes me emotional. One thing this post makes me realise is that kids grow up really soon.
I wish Sid a very happy birthday and also the very best for hos future. And wishes to you too ?
Thanks Naba. I know. Seeing how baby pics make me so emotional. It was just the other day when he was a tiny tot. And trust me all parenting struggles back in those days are just a distant memory now. ?
Happy Birthday to your son and Happy Mother’s Day to you. Kids grow up so quickly and yet they remain kids for us. All the best to your son.
Thanks a lot, Suzy!
Such a lovely post! Yes, you should be proud! Happy birthday to Sid! ?
Thank you, Reema. ?
Happy Mother’s Day and happy birthday Sid. The birthday couldn’t come on a better day and love how he has grown into an independent man, not shy of voicing his opinion, becoming a source of strength for each other. Only a mother can express such words of wisdom, we don’t own our children, not their lives, not their mindspaces.’ More power to you, Rachna.
Thank you Vishal for your lovely wishes. I think the more we give them the freedom to thrive, the better they become. My parents gave me a lot of independence while growing up and I have only become better because of it.
happy mothers day
Thank you, Pushpendra.
Such a heartwarming letter to a wonderful young man. It made me so happy, yet super emotional to read this letter. Especially seeing that baby pic, and then seeing him now. Kids grow up way too soon, and it’s such a bittersweet feeling.
I hope he had a wonderful day, and will have a fulfilling year ahead. Wishing him all the very best life has to offer.
I know. Bittersweet is the feeling I experience as well. It is so tough to see them grow up so soon and then leave the nest. I think we all were together and just spent some quality time. Thank you for the lovely wishes, Shantala.
Though I have read many posts about him on this blog, this is different. This is a sum up of how he grew up and what he turned out to be. Very proud and happy for you. May God bless him with the best of everything! Hope you had a wonderful mother’s day!
Thanks, Latha, for the lovely wishes. Mother’s Day was regular. Having children who love and respect you makes it quite worthwhile.
“I don’t want my kids to be clones of their parents. They should be our better versions.” – Rachna, if only all parents thought this for their kids, the world will be a much better place today. As a child, my parents put in all their expectations on me and just wanted me to pull them out of their troubles. I had to put my passions and interests on hold and pursue something that would guarantee me a job. Till date, my parents are so dependent on me in so many ways that it honestly ties me down at times. I don’t know why I’m saying so much here, but I just feel like it.
You are a wonderful mother and I’m sure Sid is very lucky to have you as his support system. He may not need you always, but he’ll always know that you will have his back. As you will have his. This posts of yours makes me feel that motherhood must be very beautiful. Wishing your elder one a very happy belated birthday. Even if he turns out half like you, the battle is won 🙂
I guess I was lucky to have parents who showed a lot of confidence in me and gave me immense freedom to choose what I did. I guess I am just drawing from that experience when I parent my children. I understand what you are saying because Indian parents are extremely invested in their children, going overboard most times and put so much pressure on them that may scuttle their dreams and individuality.
Parenting is such a tough job. We all carry our own experiences and instincts to it and often make many mistakes too. But yes, I have loved the journey. I truly feel lucky to have the kids I have.
Thanks for the lovely wishes and such sweet words. Brought tears to my eyes. I cherish your words.
Birthday wishes to Sidharth and Mother’s Day wishes to you, Rachna.
Nice job. He seems to have grown into a fine young man. 🙂
Wishing Sid a happy new phase of a wonderful journey.
I have always admired your parenting style , Rachna from the posts that I read. I love the fact that you and your Husband are fun parents and a reality check your children need.
This was such a beautiful read, and I can’t help but say that your sons are truly lucky to have you both as their parents.
Wishing you all happiness always.
Rachna, corny as it is there is no doubt that the love and respect between mother and son is very special. Add to that your pride of what you and he have achieved and it is an emotional time. He is a handsome young man and is clearly on the path to success. Well done you! #TweensTeensBeyond
Happy Mothers Day and happy birthday to your son. What a day and what a post! Thanks for sharing with #tweensteensbeyond
Lovely post.Happy Mother’s Day to you..even though it’s gone but then mothers day is everyday isn’t it 🙂
Hey thanks Asha. Hope all is well.